About : tv stands furniture city
Title : tv stands furniture city
tv stands furniture city
(roaring) announcer: the world of investing can be a jungle. bulls. bears. danger at every turn. that's why we at stratton oakmont pride ourselves on being the best. trained professionals to guide you through the financial wilderness.
stratton oakmont. stability. integrity. pride. (people shouting) one! two! three! (all cheering) twenty-five grandto the first cocksuckerto nail a bull's eye!
come on! let's go! all: one! jordan: my name is jordan belfort. not him. me. that's right. i'm a former member of the middle class raised by two accountants in a tiny apartment in bayside, queens. the year i turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm,
i made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. (upbeat blues music) no, no, no. my ferrari was white, like don johnson's in miami vice. not red. see that humongous estate down there? that's my house. robin leach: (over tv) for millionaires whose ships... jordan: my wife, naomi,
the duchess of bay ridge, brooklyn, a former model and miller lite girl. yeah. she was the one with my cock in her mouth in the ferrari. so put your dick back in your pants. in addition to naomi and my two perfect kids, i own a mansion, private jet, six cars, three horses, two vacation homes,
and a 170-foot yacht. robin leach: anchors aweigh! jordan: i also gamble like a degenerate. i drink like a fish. i fuck hookers maybe five, six times a week. i have three different federal agencies looking to indict me. oh, yeah, and i love drugs. (faint clanging) (breathing heavily)
okay. one more round. oh, yeah. oh, you like it? yeah. pull up. pull up!we're gonna crash,for christ sake! jordan: relax! (slurring) just relax. (groaning)
you okay? yeah, i'm all right. good job. you get in there safe,all right? till the next time, brother. till next time. yup, on a daily basisi consume enough drugs to sedate manhattan,long island and queensfor a month. okay, mr. jordan.
i take quaaludes10 to 15 times a dayfor my "back pain," adderall to stay focused, xanax to take the edge off,pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake meback up againand morphine, well, because it's awesome. good morning, nathan. but of all the drugsunder god's blue heaven, there is one that ismy absolute favorite. you see,
enough of this shit'llmake you invincible. able to conquer the world, and eviscerate your enemies. (snorts) ah! and i'm nottalking about this. i'm talking about this. see, money doesn't just buy you a better life, better food, better cars, better pussy.
it also makes you a better person. you can give generously to the church or political party of your choice. you can save the fucking spotted owl with money. i always wanted to be rich. so let me go back. i'm 22 years old, newly married, and already a money-crazed little shit. so what do i do? i go to the one place on earth
that befit my high-minded ambitions. i love you. jerry: you are lower than pond scum. you got a problemwith that, jordan? no. no problem at all. good. because thatis what you are. pond scum. your job is connector,
which means that you'llbe dialing the phoneover 500 times a day trying to connect mewith wealthy business owners. and until you passyour series 7, that is all you're gonnafucking be doing. sit. sit! now just so you know,last year i madeover $300,000. the other guyyou'll be working for,he made over a million. jordan: a million dollars? i could only imagine what a douchebag that guy must be.
jordan belfort. yes, sir. mark hanna. a pleasure to meet you. and you as well.i see you've alreadymet the village asshole. smile and dial. and don't pick up yourfucking head until 1:00. hey, fuck him. i'm the senior broker here.he's just a worthless piker.
why don't youblow me, hanna? now did you really pitcha stock in your job interview? i had to do somethingto stand out. right, sir? i fucking love that. lunch. today. we don't startdialing at 9:30 because our clientsare alreadyanswering the phone. three. two. one. let's fuck!
(bell rings) jordan: you want to know what money sounds like? go to a trading floor on wall street. "fuck" this, "shit" that. "cunt," "cock," "asshole." i couldn't believe how these guys talked to each other. man 1: good fucking package... man 2: piece of shit! i was hooked in seconds.
it was like mainlining adrenaline. yeah. fuckface, look at wherethe stock's at today, huh? you motherfucker,you can't get any at 44... pick up thecocksucking phone! sorry... you are sucha fucking douchebag, hanna. we don't give two shitsabout how technology works because all we care aboutis getting fucking rich. solid, 2,000.
done! time to paint the tape. whoo! 2,000. microsoft.going in the hole! come on. live. live.hold on, that is hot. in. in.shut that motherfucker. shut it! shut it!shut it! sold! (mark humming)
(continues humming) tootski? oh, no. thank you, though. mr. hanna,what can i bring for youon this glorious afternoon? well, hector,here's the game plan. you're gonna bring ustwo absolut martinis. you know how i like them.straight up. and then precisely seven andone half minutes after that, you're gonnabring us two more.
then two more after thatevery five minutes until one of uspasses the fuck out. (chuckles) hector:excellent strategy, sir. i'm good with water for now. thank you. it's his first day onwall street. give him time. mr. hanna? you're able to do drugsduring the day
and then still function,still do your job? how the fuck elsewould you do this job? cocaine and hookers,my friend. right. (chuckles) well, i got to say,i'm incredibly excited to be a part of your firm.i mean... the clients you haveare absolutely... fuck the clients. your only responsibilityis to put meat on the table.
you got a girlfriend? i'm married.i have a wife. her name is teresa.she cuts hair. congratulations. think about teresa. name of the game. move the moneyfrom your client's pocketinto your pocket. right. but if you make your clientsmoney at the same time,
it's advantageousto everyone. correct? no. number one ruleof wall street. nobody... i don't care if you'rewarren buffett or ifyou're jimmy buffett. nobody knows if astock is gonna go up, down, sideways,or in fucking circles. least of allstockbrokers, right? mmm-hmm.
it's all a fugazi.you know what a fugazi is? uh. fugayzi. it's a fake. fugayzi, fugazi,it's a whazy,it's a woozy, it's... (whistles) fairy dust.it doesn't exist. it's never landed.it is no matter. it's not onthe elemental chart. it's not fucking real. right? stay with me.
we don't create shit.we don't build anything. so if you got a clientwho bought stock at 8 and it now sits at 16,he's all fucking happy. he wants to cash in,liquidate, take his fucking moneyand run home. you don't let him do that. 'cause that wouldmake it real. no. what do you do? you get anotherbrilliant idea.
a special idea. another "situation."another stock to reinvest his earningsand then some. and he will,every single time. 'cause they'refucking addicted. and you just keep doing this,again and again and again. meanwhile, he thinkshe's getting shit rich, which he is, on paper. but you and me,the brokers,
we're taking homecold hard cash via commission,motherfucker. that's incredible, sir. i can't tell youhow excited i am. you should be. there's two keys to successin the broker business. first of all... (exhales) you gotta stay relaxed.
do you jerk off? do i... do i jerk off? yeah. yeah, i jerk off. yeah. how many times a week? like, um, three or four. three or four times,maybe five. gotta pumpthose numbers up. those are rookie numbersin this racket. i myself, i jerk offat least twice a day.
wow. once in the morning right after i work out,then once right after lunch. really? i want to.that's not why i do it. i do it 'causei fucking need to. think about it.you're dealing with numbers. all day long,decimal points,high frequencies. bang, bang, bang.
(squeaking) fucking digits. all very acidicabove-the-shouldersmustard shit. all right? it kind of wigssome people out. you got to feed the geeseto keep the blood flowing. i keep the rhythmbelow the belt. done. this is not a tip,this is a prescription.
trust me. if you don't, you willfall out of balance, split your differentialand tip the fuck over. or worse yet, i've seen this happen,implode. no, i don't wantto implode, sir. no. no, you don't. i'm in it for thelong run, you know? implosions are ugly.
pop off to the bathroom,work one out any time you can. when you getreally good at it, you'll fucking be stroking itand you'll be thinkingabout money. second key to successin this racket is this little babyright here. it's called cocaine. it'll keep you sharpbetween the ears. it'll also help yourfingers dial faster. and guess what?
that's good for me. revolutions. you follow? revolutions. keep the clientson the ferris wheel. and it goes.the park is open 24/7, 365, every decade,every goddamn century. that's it. (jordan laughing) the name of the game.
halkidiki? hmm. (both humming) we're the commondenominator. ah. both: ah. keep it up for me. ♪ you've seen the echo ♪ and the money comes in
♪ the parade comes to town ♪ going down broadway ♪ it's a one-way street ♪ whichever way i go ♪ (humming continues) jordan: the next six months, i got to know the ins and outs of wall street. earning shit money as i geared up to take my series 7. oh!
oh, fuckers. then i was a licensed broker at last, ready to make my fortune. my first day as a future master of the universe. i have exxon at86 1/4 six months ago. today it istrading at 36 1/2. mr... jordan: they called it black monday. no shit.
by 4:00 p.m., the market had dropped 508 points. the biggest plummet since the crash of '29. mark: i know your family,you know mine. no, i don't know. some fuckingcountry in europe took a shit. let them do what theywant to fucking do. our market's solid. this is not somethingthat you want to sell. you know what happened?a fucking tsunami. i think you're makinga big mistake.
yes, i will talk to your wife. trust me,do not answer the phone. a lot of people aregonna be calling you, trying to getyour dirty laundry. we don't knowwhat's going on here. i know. i know. mark: holy fucking shit! jordan: unbelievable.
my first shitty day as a broker. within a month, l.f. rothschild, an institution since 1899, closed its doors. wall street had swallowed me up and shit me right back out again. we could pawnmy engagement ringif we needed to. babe... because i don't mind. if we needed to,i'm saying...
will you listen to me? you're not pawninganything. okay? what do i always tell you? you're gonna bea millionaire. that's right. okay?just let me look. we'll find something. how about this? what? nobody beats the wiz,the electronics store.
stock boy.what do you think? you're not gonna workat that place. yeah, but, you know,you start off... jordan, you're gonna bemiserable at that place if you go there. i know. it's sales.you work your way up, you'll be a general manager. you're not gonnabe a stock boy.
why not? 'cause you'rea stockbroker. you understand thatnobody's hiringstockbrokers right now? you understand that? okay? (jordan sighs) teresa: ah. this place is. what's that say? "stockbrokers."
(laughs) in long island?stockbrokers in long island? teresa: it's in long island. so what? (toilet flushing) hey, uh, i'm lookingfor investor's center. what's that?you want to invest? no. investor's center. i'm looking forinvestor's center. yeah, yeah, that's us. hey.this is it. this is it.
oh. i'm dwayne. yeah. you're dwayne? hi, dwayne.we spoke on the phone. i'm jordan belfort. i'm the broker fromrothschild in new york. yes, yeah.have a seat. how are you? we had a conversation... we spoke on thephone earlier, right?
two hours ago. (speaking foreign language) they're up and comers.that's what that means. it's 3 cents a share,that's $3! you cheap fuck! so, uh... so where are yourquotrons here? quotrons? yeah. your computers.
no, no. we don't evenneed computers here. we just trade right offthe pink sheets here. pink sheets? yeah, they're penny stocks. you know, uh, companies thatcan't get listed on nasdaq, they don't haveenough capital? their shares trade here. penny stocks? this one, uh, aerodyne,is a really interesting...
or aerotyne... aerotyne, yeah. aero... aerotyne... aerotyne. yeah. very hot stock right now. oh, yeah? they're just a couple ofbrothers that are making radar detectorsout of their garage. they're out in dubuque.
maybe it's microwaves.i'm not sure. but you call thecompany's main line, their mom, dorothy, answersand she is so sweet. good company. i actually don't knowwhat else to... i don't know anything elseabout them other than that. (both laughing) six cents a share? hey, come on.who buys this crap?
well, i mean... honestly, mostly schmucks. postmen,there's always postmen. uh, plumbers. um... they see our adsin the back of, uh, hustler and popular mechanics. our ads actually saythey can get rich quick. hustler? you know,those girlie magazines.
yeah, yeah.nudie mag. a lot. we're helping themfinance houses, we're helping them buytheir wife a diamond ring... a boat maybe. is this... is this stuffregulated or are you guys... what are you doing here? uh... sort of.
sort of? jesus christ,the spread on these is huge. yeah. and that'sthe point, that's... what's your name again? mine... jordan belfort. jordan, what do you geton that blue chip stock? i make one percent.or i did make one percent. pink sheets, it's 50. it's 50%?
50% commission? yup. for what? it's our markupfor our services. and so if i... if i... if i sell a stock at $10,000,my commission is 5,000 bucks? if you sell $10,000worth of this stock, i will personally give youa blowjob for free. and i hope it happens.
jordan: hello, john, how are you doing today? you mailed in my companya postcard a few weeks back requesting informationon penny stocks that had hugeupside potential with very littledownside risk. does that ring a bell? yeah, i may have sent something. okay, great.the reason forthe call today, john, is, something just cameacross my desk, john.
it is perhaps the best thing i've seen in thelast six months. if you have 60 seconds,i'd like to share the idea with you.you got a minute? actually, i'm really very... the name of the company,aerotyne international. it is a cutting edgehigh-tech firmout of the midwest awaiting imminent patent approval on the next generationof radar detectors
that have both hugemilitary and civilianapplications now. right now, john, the stock tradesover-the-counterat 10 cents a share. and by the way, john,our analysts indicate it could go a heck ofa lot higher than that. your profit on a mere$6,000 investment would be upwardsof $60,000! jesus! that's my mortgage, man. exactly. you couldpay off your mortgage.
this stock will pay off my house? john, one thingi can promise you, even in this market, is that i neverask my clients to judge me on my winners. i ask them tojudge me on my losersbecause i have so few. and in the case of aerotyne, based on every technicalfactor out there, john, we are looking ata grand slam home run.
okay, let's do it. i'll do 4 grand. $4,000? that'd be40,000 shares, john. let me lock inthat trade right now and get back to youwith my secretary with an exact confirmation.sound good, john? yeah, sounds good. great. hey, john. thank you for yourvote of confidence.
and welcome to theinvestor's center. yeah, thanks a lot, man. bye-bye. how'd you fucking do that? (man laughs) jordan: just like that, i made 2 grand. the other guys looked at me like i'd just discovered fire. great! even better! i was selling garbage to garbage men
and making cash hand over fist. the only problemyou're gonna haveis that you didn't buy more. boom shocka locka! so i was selling them shit. (exclaims in spanish) but the way i looked at it, their money was better off in my pocket. i knew how to spend it better. donnie: excuse me. is that your car in the lot? jordan: yeah.
it's a nice ride. thanks, man. donnie azoff. hey. i'm jordan belfort. nice to meet you. how you doing? you know, actually,i see that car around. i see it around a lot. oh, yeah, where?
i think we livein the same building. no shit? yeah, yeah. twelfth floor? yeah. what floor are you on? fourth floor. i have two little kids.ugly wife. what do you do, bro? what do you mean,what do i do?
for work, what do you do? i'm a stockbroker. stockbroker? children's furniture. oh, good for you. it's all right. you make a lot of money? yeah, i doall right for myself. i'm trying to put it together.
you got yourfucking nice car, we live in the samebuilding. i just... i'm not understanding...how much money do you make? i don't know.$70,000 last month. get the fuck... get the fuck out of here. no, i'm serious. yeah, no, i'm serious, too. seriously, how muchmoney do you make?
i told you. $70,000. well, technically, $72,000. last month.something like that. you made 72 grandin one month? i'll tell you what. you show me a pay stubfor $72,000 on it, i quit my job right nowand i work for you. donnie: hey, paulie, what's up? no, yeah, yeah.no, everything's fine.
hey, listen, i quit. jordan: and he did quit his job. which i thought was a little weird. i mean, i just met this fucking guy. don't fucking tell susan.it's none of her business. there were other things about him, too. like his phosphorescent white teeth. ...wife! i gotta fuckingdeal with your wife? the fact that he wore horn rims with clear lenses
just to look more wasp-y. and then, there were these rumors. i heard some stupid shit.i don't know. fuck, i didn't even wantto bring it up. it's just... it's stupid. shit with me? you know, people say shit.i don't even know. i don't even listen to ithalf the time. what are they saying?
shit about you and your cousinor something like that. i don't even listen to it. oh, bro, it's not like that. it's not like that. like you married your cousinor some stupid shit. no? yeah, my wife. yeah. my wife is my cousin,or whatever. but it's not like what youthink, or whatever, you know. is she like a first cousin,or is she...
yeah, no, she's,you know... her... her father is the brotherof my mom. it's not like, what...you know. look, we grew up together. and she grew up hot, you know.she fucking grew up hot. and all my friends weretrying to fuck her, you know. and i'm not gonnalet someone... you know, one of theseassholes fuck my cousin,
so, you know, i usedthe cousin thing as like an in with her. i'm not gonna let someoneelse fuck my cousin. you know, if anyone'sgonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me,out of respect. you know? no, i get it. yeah. i mean, you're notafraid of like the wholekid thing, right? what? having kids with her? no. we have two kids.
and they're... i mean... i don't want to getpersonal, but they're okay? no, they're not retardedor anything like that. but there's a big chance,right, if... yeah, there's likea 60%, you know, 60 to 65% chance the kid'sgonna be fuckingretarded or whatever. that'd scarethe shit out of me, buddy. look, man,a lot of having a kid,or whatever, takes risk, whether you're fuckingcousins or not.
what if somethinglike that happened? basically, you know,if the kid was retarded, i would, you know,drive it up to the country and just, like, you know,open the door and say, "you're free now."you know, like, "run free." you know? you're completelyfucking with me. that's horrible.you're not gonna... you look like you've... no.
we would take it to,like, an institutionor somewhere that's handled to, like,you know, raise the kid or whatever. you know what? if you'rehappy, god bless you, buddy. no, i'm not fucking happy. no one who's marriedis fucking happy. well, i'm sorryto hear that, buddy. listen, i'm really,you know... i'm really appreciativefor this fucking job.
i'm really enjoying it. i'm really happywith what you're doing. actually,i got you a little present. you got me a present? i got you something. oh, fuck. you're sweet. yeah.it's in the back though. what do you mean? you gotta go out back.
like it's wrapped upor something? it's wrapped up. yeah. i don't get it. neither do i. let's fucking go. come on. your turn. i'm not fucking doing this. you're out of yourfucking mind. smoke this shit, bro.
no one's fucking here, bro. fucking smoke crackwith me, bro. i'm not fucking doing it. smoke crack. smoke somefucking crack with me, bro. one hit. one hit. that's it. fucking nut job. (moans) wow! (laughing)
let's go run, huh? we gotta getout of here, buddy. we gotta get out of here.let's go fucking run. let's run like we're fuckinglions and tigers and bears! let's run! let's fucking run! let's fucking run! go! go, go, go, go! (telephone ringing) man: you've reached frank's best auto body.
we're closed right now. so please leave us a message. jordan: hello. my name is jordan belfort. my partner and i are very interested in renting out your garage. donnie and i were going out on our own. and the first thing we needed was brokers. guys with sales experience. so i recruited some of my hometown boys. sea otter, who sold meat
and weed. chester, who sold tires and robbie, who sold anything he could get his hands on. mostly weed. can you bring mesome ketchup? okay? this is brad. and brad's the guy i really wanted. but he didn't go along with us. he was already making so much money selling quaaludes,
he'd become the quaalude king of bayside. getting any pussywith that thing or what? yeah, man, of course. bring some of them chicksaround here sometime, huh? let 'em watch. let 'em watch.know what i mean? hey, zip! you tell yoursister i was asking about her. why don't youbring me a pair of her pantiesnext time you come through. yeah, man. she saidshe don't want to talkto you anymore, man.
hey, ma,we got chicken or what? ma! jordan: you listening?it's easier than you think. every person you'reon the phone with, they want to get richand they want toget rich quickly. they all wantsomething for nothing. there was this one timethat i was selling potto this amish dude. you know those guyswho got like the beard with like no mustacheor some bullshit?
well, he says that he onlywants to make furniture. i don't understand. chester: what's thatgot to do with anything? what the fuckare you talking about? i'm not putting wordsin your mouth or nothing, but you just said thateverybody wants to get rich. holy fuck,you did just say that. otter:yeah, like buddhists. they don't givea shit about money.
they're wrapped in sheets.they're not buying shit. i'm not talking aboutbuddhists or amish. i'm talking aboutnormal people, working-class,everyday people. everyone wants to get rich.am i crazy? there's no such thingas an amish buddhist. i'm pretty fucking sure. there could be. can we get someketchup, please?
do you guysnot want to make money? all:i want to make some money. i want to make somefucking money, okay. i can sell anything. shit, i can sell ludesto a convent full of nuns, and get them so hornythey'd be fucking each other. that's the attitude.you can sell anything? sell me thisfucking pen right here. you can sell anything.sell that. go ahead.
sell me the pen. can i finish eating first?i haven't eaten today. brad, show themhow it's done. boom. sell me that pen. watch.go on. you want me to sellthis fucking pen? that's my boy right there.can fucking sell anything. why don't you do me a favor. write your name downon that napkin for me. i don't have a pen.
exactly.supply and demand, my friend. holy shit. see what i'm saying?he's creating urgency. get them to wantto buy the stock. convince themit's something they need,you know what i mean? and that's the thing. all nuns are lesbians. what the fuck are youtalking about, otter? otter: think about it.they can't keep a dude
so they're gonnastart fucking chicks. four fucking times, kimmie!four times. nicky: he's not with us. robbie: friggin' rambo. now she runs. jordan: but look. i knew these guys weren't like harvard mbas. robbie feinberg, the pinhead, took five years to finish high school. alden kupferberg, the sea otter,
didn't even graduate. chester ming, the depraved chinaman, thought jujitsu was in israel. smartest of the bunch was nicky koskoff. he actually went to law school. i called him rugrat because of his piece of shit hairpiece. still, give them to me young, hungry and stupid and in no time, i'll make them rich. teresa: oh, my god.
jordan, that... you like it, baby? oh, my god, it's beautiful. they're not the biggeststones in the world, but i promisethey're really high quality. it's beautiful. they're so beautiful. oh, boy. i know that look.what is it? go ahead.
i don't know, it's...you know... these stocks...these companies... they're like crappy companies. well, yeah. yeah, they're terrible. don't worry about it.i told you, what i'm doingis completely legal. yeah, i know. but they're not gonna makeanyone money though, right?
well, sometimes they do,sometimes they don't. you know how it goes. wouldn't you feel betterif you sold that stuffto rich people who can, like, affordto lose all that money? of course. but rich peopledon't buy penny stocks. they just don't. jordan: because they're too smart, that's why not.
i mean, what person with a college education would trust this bunch of jerk-offs? hang up the phone.tell him you'llcall him back. i got 5 fucking grandon the phone right now! hey! but what if they didn't sound like a bunch of jerk-offs? what if i could teach them how to sell to people with money? real money. so i decided to reinvent the company.
gentlemen, welcome to stratton oakmont. you schnooks willnow be targeting the wealthiest1% of americans. we're talkingabout whales here. moby fucking dicks. and with this script,which is now yournew harpoon, i'm gonna teacheach and every one of you to be captain fucking ahab.
get it? huh? captain who? captain ahab.from the fucking... the book, motherfucker.from the book. turn your fucking brain on. fuck you. jesus fuck, robbie. jordan: listen to me.we're a new companywith a new name. a company that our clientscan believe in.
a company thatour clients can trust. a firm whose rootsare so deeplyembedded into wall street that our very founderssailed over on the mayflower and chiseled the namestratton oakmont right intoplymouth fucking rock! you got it? (all chuckling) what we're gonna do is this. first we pitch 'emdisney, at&t, ibm,
blue chip stocksexclusively. companies these people know. once we've suckered them in,we unload the dog shit. the pink sheets,the penny stocks, where we make the money. 50% commission, baby. ooh. now the key to making moneyin a situation like this is to position yourself nowbefore the settlement.
because by the timeyou read about it in the wall street journal, it's already too late. then you wait. you wait. and whoeverspeaks first loses. client: sorry, uh... i appreciate the call. i really have to give this some thought and talk to my wife about it.
can i call you back? they don't know, right?they gotta think about it, they gotta talkto their fucking wives,or the fucking tooth fairy. point is, it doesn't matterwhat the fuck they say. the only real objectionthat they have is thatthey don't trust you guys. and why should they trust you?i mean, look at you. you're a bunch of fuckingsleazy salesmen, right? (all laughing) so, what do you say?
you mean to tell methat if i put you inat union carbide at 7 and took you out at 32... texas instruments at 11and took you out at 47... u.s. steel at 16,took you out at 41... you wouldn't be sayingto me right now, "chester, "pick me up a few thousandshares of disney "on the spot, right now.come on." honestly, kevin?honestly? seriously? i don't know you.
you cold-called me. you're a total stranger. i am in completeagreement with you. you don't know me,i don't know you. let me introducemyself to you. my name is alden kupferberg. robbie feinberg. chester ming. i'm senior vice presidentat stratton oakmont... ...and i plan on beingone of the...
...top brokersin my firm next year. and i'm not gonna get thereby being wrong, stanley. i do wanna say that you sound like a... you sound like a pretty sincere guy. otter: it's not gonna make you rich and it's not gonna make you poor. but what this tradewill do is serve as... ...a benchmark forfuture business, kevin. you feel comfortablewith me now, scotty?
and then you'll know for sure that you finally founda broker on wall street that you can trust, and who can consistentlymake you money. sound fair enough? (mouthing) you know what... yeah. i gotta say, i'm pretty impressed. what are you thinking?
kevin. you give me one shot here on a blue chip stocklike kodak, and believe me, kevin, the only problemyou're gonna have is that you didn't buy more. shit. my... uh... (chuckles) my wife might divorce me, but...
yeah, let's do it. (all laughing quietly) excellent choice, kevin. how much do youwant to go for this time? let's do 5... $5,000. can we try 8,000, kevin? all right. let's do 10. ten. you want to do that?
excellent choice! kevin, let me lock inthat trade right now and get back to youin a few minutes with an exactconfirmation, kevin. and welcome tostratton oakmont. thanks, man. i'm gonna have a beer. this is fun. take it easy, kev. hey, thanks, jordan. thanks a...
fuck that motherfucker! that's whati'm talking about! what a fucking idiot. the one thing i know aboutin this world is airlines. and cuchon airlinesis the future of airlines. get in now or... i'm nicky koskoff... chester ming... both: ...and i'ma senior vice president
with stratton oakmont. judy, i am so,so, so sorry for your loss. when did he pass? just say i'm wrong, right. and the stock goes downa couple points... ...and it makes you,in the wordsof my grandfather, god rest his soul,"a shit ton of money." it's like getting in onfucking sunlight before there was fuckingsunlight. you understand?
man: can we do 8,000 shares? man 2: okay, 25,000. that's a veryintelligent decision. i'm gonna transfer youto my sales associate. rhonda! ...put you through to andrea. has anybody fuckingseen rhonda? (bell ringing) everybody have a good week?
all: yeah! the end of the month. $28.7 million in gross commissions, all from pink sheet stock, boys! and to celebrate with our weekly act of debauchery, i have offered our lovely sales assistant, danielle harrison, here, $10,000 to shave her fucking head! yeah!
nicky: yeah, you want this? you want this? let's scalp her! scalp her! nicky:let the scalping begin! (all continue chanting) all: scalp! scalp! scalp! jordan: fyi, boys, danielle has promised to use this $10,000 for breast implants! she's already got c cups,
but now she wants fucking double d's! is this a great fucking company or what? is this the greatest company in the world? donnie! blow the roof off this motherfucker! (marching band playing) champagne? whoo! send in the stripees!
mine! (yelling) jordan: word about us spread throughout wall street. even the places i didn't want it to. it wasn't long before forbes magazine, the flagship of wall street, called to do a profile on me. let me ask you,how do you see the futurefor stratton oakmont? one word? (exhales) diversification.
sounds good. thank you somuch. i have more than enough. i appreciate your time. fantastic. can we get a quick picture? (camera clicks) jordan: a total fucking hatchet job. this conniving little twat! look at this! "the wolf of wall street"they call me. look. your hair looks good.
well, my hair looks good. "jordan belfort, "sounding like a kind oftwisted robin hood "who takes from the richand gives to himself "and his merry littleband of brokers." read that. read it. listen. there is no such thingas bad publicity, sweetheart. read the article, babe.
jordan, you look great!you're in a huge magazine. big fucking deali look great. (people clamoring) man: mr. belfort! can youlook at my resume, please? excuse me, excuse me, sir! calm the fuck down! what the hell's all this? it's the forbes article.they all want towork for you now. hey! what did i say?
i'm just trying to be nice. hey, you want a job,you talk to me! mr. belfort! give me one minute. jordan:forbes made me a superstar. every day, dozens of money-crazed kids beat a path to my door. if we hired 'em, they dropped straight out of college overnight and spent whatever allowance they had on a new suit from our stratton tailor.
are you fuckingserious right now? i mean, we were literally putting clothes on these kids' backs. and here comes this jerk-off sniffing around. but, you know, every time someone rises up in this world, there's always gonna be some asshole trying to drag him down. within months, we doubled in size, moved to even bigger offices. (grunting) (both screaming)
it was a madhouse. a greed-fest, with equal parts cocaine, testosterone, and body fluids. (screaming) yes! it got so bad, i had to declare the office a fuck-free zone between the hours of 9:00 and 7:00. but i'm telling you, even that didn't help. actually, the madness started on our very first day, when one of our brokers, ben jenner,
christened the elevator by getting a blowjob from a sales assistant. her name was pam, and to her credit, she did have this amazing technique, with this wild twist and jerk motion. about a month later, donnie and i decided to double-team her on a saturday afternoon while our wives were out shopping for christmas dresses.
eventually, ben married her, which was pretty amazing considering she blew every single guy in the office. then he got depressed and killed himself three years later. anyway, i hired my dad, max, to maintain order as the enforcer. stratton's very own gestapo. we called him mad max because of his hair-trigger temper, which could be set off by something as innocuous as a ringing telephone.
who the fuckhas the goddamn gall to call this houseon a tuesday night? god damn it! you're gonna miss it! ooh, please, tell mesomething i don't know. i wait all weekfor the fucking equalizer and they have to fucking...hello. jordan: but as soon as he picked up the phone... gene. how are you, gene?
...he'd affect this weird british accent. right-o, gene,that'd be great. cheerio. it was absolutely bizarre. the fucking halfwit! he'd hang up... you missed it! ...and then he's mad max all over again. damn it!
all right, tell me whathappened. what happened? well, he discovered itwas the mother's sister. who's he? who?tell me who... the main guy.you know who the main... the main guy... it was his mother's sister.she showed up dead. jordan: of course, mad max didn't have to know everything we were doing at stratton. and then there'sa big target and we...
they get launchedat the target. they stick. nicky: there's a bullseye and the bullseye's a dollar sign. whoever gets closer to the dollar sign... ...gets the most points. i'm gonna throw the shit outof this little fucking thing. so if it gets hurt,what happens? 'cause we're gonna getfucking nuts. i don't think he's gonnaget hurt. they're like... they got likesuperhuman strength.
i think he's gonna be fine. you can't look himright in the eyes. you can't look himin the eye? that's a fact.i saw it on pbs. they get confusedand their wires get crossed. you gotta lookat their chin. like it looks likei'm looking at you but i'm lookingat your chin. i feel like you'readdressing me right now,but you're not, are you?
they're like the mona lisa.they find eye contact, like, wherever you arestanding in the room. and they lock in. jordan: no, but there isa limit to what we cando with them? we're allowed to throwshit at 'em. we're allowed to throw food?bananas. any food. correct. but, for example,what i wouldn't do is maybe like tell himto pull his cock out
and like get someof the girls to, you know, fondle himand shit like that. that would be...that's unacceptable? let's keep thatin our back pocket. this guy is more aboutthrowing at the dartboard. correct. yes, yes, yes. the thing is,this is their gift, okay. they're built to be thrownlike a lawn dart. they're top heavylike a lawn dart.
so they're built for accuracy. oh, my god. can webowl with this guy? that's his fuckingbrother, rob. his brother'sthe bowling ball. the brother, you puta skateboard on him, you strap himto a skateboard, you toss him downan alley at some pins. no shit. that's interesting. swear to fucking god.
can we get that guy? yeah, we'll get that guy, too. but it says here this guywill show his cock. yeah. instead of growing up. yeah. he will? they are very orneryby the way, so you gotta be very carefulwith these little guys. safety first. safety is first, all right?
i want somebody witha fucking tranquilizer gun ready to knockthis fucker out. do we want to get like a... mace. taser guns. a pellet gun maybe? no, a pellet gunis gonna hurt him. i just want him out.knocked out cold. but i say we stickwith the loophole.right? okay? if we don'tconsider him a human,
we just consider it an act,i think we're in the clear. like the flying wallendas. you know,a lot of those guys diedbut they never sued anybody. the important thingyou guys gotta keep in mind is that these things gossip. they get togetherand they gossip. that's a good point. and the last thing that we need is themgetting together and saying,
"oh, they made fun of us." like, it's gonna makestratton look bad. that's why i love you.you think of shit like that. when they come in, we treat itjust like one of us. okay? (chanting) one of us.gooble gobble, one of us. we accept them,one of us! gooble gobble,one of us. we accept them,one of us. gooble gobble, one of us!
jordan! your dad's coming. something about theamerican express bill. can you get him out of here? yeah. lick my twat. no, i'm serious! fuck. guys, act likewe're working. you got anyfucking stock forms? he's coming,he's coming. make some shit up.
i think if we short pfizer... $430,000 in onemonth, jordy, huh? four hundred and fucking30,000 fucking dollarsin one fucking month! good morning. they'rebusiness expenses. relax. max: business expenses? jordan: yes. jordy, look what you got here. look at this. $26,000for one fucking dinner! okay. no, no.this could be explained.
dad, we had clients.the pfizer clients. right. the porterhousefrom argentina. expensive champagne and...we had to buy champagne. and you orderedall the fucking sides. tell him about the sides. i ordered sides, so... sides? $26,000 worth of sides? what are these sides?they cure cancer? the sides did cure cancer.that's the problem.
that's whythey were expensive. shut the fuck up. i'm serious. stop. and ej entertainment? what the fuck isej entertainment? well, that's, uh... donnie: yeah, jordy,what's ej entertainment? how do i describe this?
jord, what is that? it's a fuckingprostitution ring, jordy! that's what it is! that is what it is. isn't that the perfectdescription for it? that is what it is.but none of thesewere charged to me. this is all of them. oh, that was all us? it wasn't me though.
fucking explainthis shit to him! these are all of yourfucking charges right here! the irs, they allowfor t&a. it's fine. max: t&e! t&e! yeah. i said t&e. no, no. you said t&a. no, i didn't. yeah, you did.
when did i say that? you said t&a.it's t&e. i know you're upsetabout the dinner, and that makes sense becausewe did spend too much money.but i said t&e. don't tell me what you said.i heard what you said. dad. he said t&a. he did? absolutely, no question. i'm trying to...
i'm getting this close! dad, relax. i'm getting this close. that's what i'm saying.i want you to open up more,max. he's gonna fucking kill you. why do you hold it in?why do you... max, why do you hold it in? that's it.get the fuck out of here! no, no, no!
asshole, get out of here. what kind of hookertakes credit cards? a rich one. jordan: at stratton, there were three kinds of hookers. the blue chips, top of the line, model material. they cost between $300 and $500 and you had to wear a condom unless you gave them a hefty tip, which, of course, i always did.
then came the nasdaqs, who were pretty, not great. they cost between 200 and 300 bucks. finally, there were the pink sheets. skanks. they cost about 100 or less. if you didn't wear a condom, you'd have to get a penicillin shot the next day and pray your dick didn't fall off. not that we didn't fuck them, too. believe me, we did. ow! it's that slippeddisc thing again.
i know what it is.you know, too much... ...with ej entertainment. pops. how are things at home? well, not the best. she just doesn't...you know what i'm saying? it's like the smell... there's a smell,there's an attraction thing. after a while it kind offades away a little bit.
yeah, well.it's supposed to fade away. supposed to? that's marriage. you know... your mother and i, we've beenmarried a long, long time. what do you think?we're, we're... we're jumping into bedevery two minutes? it doesn't work that way. i love her to death. i want to staymarried, dad, but...
it's crazy out there. some of these girls...you should see them. oh, my god! they're fucking... the thingsthey're doing now, pops. i mean... i mean, it's ona whole other level. and they're all shaved, too. get out of here! all shaven.
are you kidding me? bald as a china doll. no bush? no bush. all of a sudden, one week,nobody had anythingdown there anymore. it's a new world. they're bald fromthe eyebrows down. nothing. not a stitch.it's like lasers. wow. a new world.
i was born too... too early. i've never been a fanof the bush, to be honest. i don't mind it. dad. i don't want you stressing outabout any of this. how can i not getstressed out? look at the knuckleheadsyou got working for you. i know they're knuckleheads but i need them to wantto live like me, you get it?
to live like me. jordy. one of these days,the chickens are gonnacome home to roost. you're looking at melike i'm crazy. (scoffs) crazy?this is obscene. jordan: it was obscene. in the normal world. but who the fuck wanted to live there? jordan: go party your fucking cocks off!
(hip-hop music) jordan: we are about to become fucking legends on wall street! we got plans up here that's gonna take this company into the fucking stratosphere! wolfie! wolfie! fuck merrill lynch. fuck them. why should they be takingall our fucking moneyall the fucking time? this way we becomethe underwriters.
it was our next big move. finding companies to take public. ipos. it was the only way these wall street pricks would ever stop thinking of us as some shitkicker bucket shop. we gotarncliffe international. jordan: see, we were a little different. we liked to get as fucked up as possible during our business powwows in order to stimulate our free-flowing ideas, which is why we were popping these ludes like they were m&m's.
(slurring)steve madden. we own thefucking companies... (glass shatters) we own the companies... don't know what a lude is? i'll tell you. oh. wait. wait, wait, wait, wait. looks like those ludes are working their magic on donnie right now. (classical music) jordan: the quaalude,
or lude, as it is commonly referred to, was first synthesized in 1951 by an indian doctor, that's dots, not feathers, as a sedative, and was prescribed to stressed-out housewives with sleep disorders. but pretty soon someone figured out that if you resisted the urge to sleep for just 15 minutes, you got a pretty kick-ass high from it. didn't take long for people to start abusing ludes, of course.
and in 1982, the u.s. government schedule 1'd them. along with the rest of the world. which meant there was only a finite amount of these things left. no shit, you can't even buy 'em anymore. you people are all shit out of luck. what are you saying?what is it? steve madden. steve. jordan: you remember those ads?
those giant-headed girls with the bug eyes wearing those big clunky shoes? my friend from school,steve madden. his friend from school,steve madden. steve madden was the name in women's shoes at the moment. and all of wall street was begging to take his company public. go ahead, go ahead,what is it? except, guess who grew up with him? women's shoes.
my very own vice president. women's shoes! diamond donnie azoff. hey, jb, jb, jb, jb. you gotta come checkthis fucking chick out. look at this. look. nicky: i would fuck that girlif she was my sister. i would let that girlgive me fucking aids. robbie: you want to seethe wolf handle this?
she's hot. cristy. jordan, this ismy friend naomi. hi. nice to meet you. naomi. naomi, nice to meet you. you got an awesome place here. i've don't thinki've ever been in a housethis big before. oh, really?
beautiful beach out there. blair hollingsworth. hi, blair. nice to meet you. your name's blair, right? you like to jet ski? naomi: i've neverdone it before. jordan: you've neverjet ski'd in your life? no, i've never jet ski'd. you've never beenon a jet ski?
how many timesare you gonna ask her? she's never beenon a jet ski. i don't know. might ask hera couple more times. naomi: okay. sure.(giggling) hi. i'm hildy.nice to meet you. hi. jordan, teresaneeds your help. yeah, i'll be outin a couple of minutes. just tell her i'll be outin a couple of minutes.
why don't youtell your wife that? i might do that,but i'm having a conversation right now. what am i, your secretary? you know what,i think we should get going. wait, wait.where you guys going? we gotta go. we gottwo other parties to go to. we can stay for a drink. yeah, stay for a drink.
no. we got two other partieswe're supposed to get to. naomi: but we can stayfor a drink... she's perfect. you like champagne? i do. donnie: she's perfect. donnie, what the fuckare you doing? you piece of...
you're gonna have toexcuse my friend. he gets... get the fuck out! jordan, you gotta fuck her,bro. she's so hot! yeah, donnie! nicky: let himfucking finish, hildy. that's fucking rude. have some fucking manners. jordan: so, bay ridge,that's near staten island,right? brooklyn,across the verrazano bridge.
saturday night fever territory. that's right. guinea gulch. we call the verrazano bridgethe guinea gangplank. so i presume you're italian? on my dad's side. i'm also dutch,german, english. i'm a mutt. yeah. you're a mutt. yeah, i still have family overthere though, in london.
my aunt emma.she's the best. very british, you know.she's a classy lady. that explains it then. explains what? it explains you. i mean,you're a duchess, right? the duchess of bay ridge. excuse me. could i get a straw, please? so i was, um,a little surprised
you asked cristyfor my number. why is that? aren't you married? well... yeah, but what? married peoplecan't have friends? we're gonna be friends? yeah. you don't wantto be my friend? we're not gonna be friends. naomi: and at nighti work on my designs.
i have an entire lineof lingerie. you know, camisoles,bustiers, panties. jordan: she designs women's panties, too? oh, my god! come on, jordan, think of a way to get up to her apartment. you wanna come up forsome tea or something? tea? yeah. like hot tea? oh, yeah.that sounds nice. yeah.
tea. fuck, yeah, i wanted to come up for tea. like darjeeling or rose hip,something nice like that? naomi: sure. this is rocky. oh, who's this?say hi, rocky. hi, sweetheart. (barks) why don't you lighta fire or somethingand i'll be right out. yeah. fire, here?
sure. i like your painting here.it's, uh... god, help me. how do i fuck this girl? (clattering) you all right? yeah, yeah. just tryingto light the fire here. (beeper ringing) that's it. that's it, you're leaving. don't get involved. go home to your wife.
(door opening) as you can probably guess, i fucked her goddamn brains out... jordan: (grunting)jesus lord! (naomi moaning) for 11 seconds. (jordan groans) naomi: did you just come? oh, yeah, i just came.
did you? did you come? no? i'm still hardso just give me a sec. come on, baby, come on. (barking) oh, yeah. oh, yeah. (rocky barking) oh, god! naomi: fuck off, rocky!bad dog.
you have a biscuitor something like that? it's okay. just keep going. rocky, go play. go play, rocky.go, go, go, go. you're crazy. jordan: i couldn't get enough. i mean, her pussy was like heroin to me. and it wasn't just about the sex, either.
naomi and i got along. i mean, we... we had similar interests and shit. (naomi giggling) ooh. choo-choo train. (hooting) i think i can. i think i can.i think i can. i think i can. (snorting) yeah, yeah.let's toke it allon there, huh? whoo-hoo-hoo!
oh, shit! you! get out ofthe fucking car! jordan: jesus christ. son of a bitch!oh, fuck! relax, sweetheart. relax. son of a fucking bitch! okay, okay... geez! okay, babe, stop!
please. (grunts) bitch! what are you doing... that whore fromthe party? (groans) jesus christ! what the fuckis wrong with you? i thought you wereat the fucking beach! i didn't knowyou were here! that's whereyou've fucking been?
with that fucking whorefrom the party? i thought you wereat the beach house. how could youdo this to me?(sobbing) sweetie, come on... who the fuckare you, jordan? you're like a completelydifferent fucking person! i made a mistake.i don't know whatto tell you, babe. i... i'm sorry. is that who...is that what you want?
(sighs deeply) do you love her? answer me. (sobbing) jordan: i felt horrible. three days later, i filed for a divorce and moved naomi into the apartment. say what you will, but the duchess did have style.
she brought in a decorator, feng shui'd the whole place. she even hired a gay butler. this guy was smart, sophisticated, professional. really, really great. is that jasmine? yes, sir. i tried tostump you this evening.very good. very good.great nose. jordan: except for that one time. (dance music)
(gasps) oh, hey. is it wednesday already? man: oh, don't stop. what the fuck! that is fucked up! he must have thoughtwe were still at the hamptonsthis weekend, you know. where were theydoing it, sweetheart?in the bedroom?
they were everywhere.there were two guysover there on the table. there were moreover here. there werefour right here. ugh! are you fucking serious?right there? why didn't you tell me? oh, baby,it gets worse. (sniffles) after they left,i checked the apartment.
right. what? what is it, babe?what? jordan: where's my money? i don't knowwhere your money... where is my fucking money?where is it? i don't knowwhere your money is,mr. belfort. i didn't do anything. if you don't get... he's lying throughhis fucking teeth.
let's startfrom the beginning. let's startfrom the beginning,all right? you invited somefriends over, right? one thing led to another.things got out of hand. we understand that, we do.(chuckles) we do blow all the time.we're fuckingdegenerates ourselves. look at us, right? but money was stolenfrom my apartment. right frommy sock drawer.all right?
like i said, i don't knowwhere your money is. just start fromthe beginning.who came over? it was just a normal day. i knew you were coming homethe next day. so everything would be fine.it'd be cleaned up. i got a little highat breakfast. so i got a little happy.i had some eggs, i had a little bitof ice cream. and then i said,"who do i knowthat likes ice cream?"
it's my friend, rudy.so i called rudy. who's rudy? yeah, who's rudy? you know who rudy is.come on. me? i don't... you know... who the fuck is rudy? i don't knowanyone named rudy. last month.the lollipop club.
you know who rudy was.dancing... you know who rudy is? (stammering) i don't fuckingknow any... so he wentto the lollipop club? nicholas: oh, he wasat the lollipop club for sure. on the stage,grinding with everybody. i got fucked up.i like to dance. i don't know.maybe i met him,maybe i didn't.
i meet a lotof fucking people. what are you saying? $50,000 was stolen from my fuckingsock drawer! all my girlfriend'sjewelry is gone. where the fuck is it? ...rudy. what the fuck? did yourfucking little faggot friendrudy take my shit? did he? answer me!
okay. now i get it.now i get why i'm... this is a gay thing. jordan: oh! see, all of you... (chuckling) you think this is'cause you're a fag? my cousin'sa fucking faggot. and i go on vacationwith him and his boyfriend.i love fags. jordan: you were in charge,right?
i will not be stolen from.you get that? i fucking like gay people.i don't like you. he should've hireda fucking mexican like i have inmy fucking house. shit! what the fuck... toby: talk, you fuck, talk! chester:i'm gonna drop you,you faggot! toby: where is it? (nicholas screaming)
jordan: chester and toby, they went all yakuza on nicholas. you know, they got crazy. i don't know! jordan: i had to call the cops just to keep them from killing the poor guy. i gave them each 1,000 bucks and told them what nicholas had done. then they kicked his ass. thanks again, officer. it's not like i cared about the 50 grand anyway.
i was making that much almost every day through one rathole or another. now a rathole is a friend, like brad here, who held stock in his name for me. who are yousupposed to be, huh?jack nickle-jew? jordan: i'd drive the price up then he'd sell and kick most of the profits back to... you guessed it, me. all cash. none of it's on the books.
a big no-no, of course, in the eyes of the law. enter our new securities attorney, manny riskin. 700 bucks an hour to be the voice of doom. listen to me.you piss upthe sec's leg, you end upwith your titsin a ringer. do not worry about it.i have the secunder control. what the fuckare theseimbeciles doing? hey! hey! what are you doing? hey!
(whooping) we got the sec in here. jordan: the securities and exchange commission sent two lawyers down to review our files. so i set them up in our conference room and i had it bugged and the air conditioning turned up so high that it felt like antarctica in there. is it alwaysthis cold in here?
i don't know. jordan: then, while they were looking for a smoking gun in that room... arncliffe internationalis on fire. ...i was gonna fire off a bazooka in here, offering up our latest ipo. an ipo is an initialpublic offering. it's the first time a stockis offered for saleto the general population. now, as the firm takingthe company public,
we set the initialsales price then sold those sharesright backto our friends. the... look. (chuckles) i know you're notfollowing whati'm saying anyway, right? that's okay.that doesn't matter. the real question is this. (whispers)"was all this legal?" absolutely fucking not. but we were makingmore money thanwe knew what to do with.
and what do you do when you're making more money than you know what to do with? (mellow music) will you marry me? oh, my god. is that a yes?(chuckles) are you sure? yeah, i'm sure.yeah, i'm sure. jordan: i held my bachelor party at the mirage in las vegas.
the flight there alone was a bacchanal. one last blowout for the gods before i settled down for good. a hundred strattonites, 50 hookers, plus 50 more waiting once we landed. oh, and the drugs. i mean, i tell you, our plane was like a pharmacy with wings. (beeping) (electric blues music)
all told, the weekend cost me 2 million bucks, including the cost of refurbishing the entire 28th floor. woman: ...kiss the bride. (people cheering) jordan: ah! but the wedding was something out of a fairy tale. with naomi, my duchess, me, her handsome duke, and the bahamas ocean club, our castle.
(pop music) of course, after the bachelor party, me, the duke, needed a few penicillin shots so he could safely consummate the marriage. hey! barry kleinman,filming the wedding. a few words for your son? jordan. rememberwhat i told you. it involves your penisand her vagina. and you know, you knowwhat you can do, jordy.
(blues music) aunt emma? i can't believeyou came! jordan! jordan!look who came! it's aunt emma. aunt emma. oh, jordan, dear,how lovely. hey, how you doing? it's a pleasureto finally meet youin person.
into the donuts, i see. oh, i... i... well... i lived throughthe '60s, my dear. enjoy the day. she surprised me.i didn't even know. jordan: just one more step.are you ready? naomi:where are we going? keep your eyes closed.
one, two, three! what is this? jordan: (chuckling)it's your wedding present. it's your wedding present,sweetheart. are you serious? a fucking yacht? robin leach: for millionaires whose ships have come in, pricey pleasure boats are for the most fun afloat. it's no coincidence that its 150 feet of green hull
is the color of cash. anchors aweigh! oh, my god! baby! i think you like it? you like it? yes! jordan: for three weeks, we sailed the naomi through the caribbean, eventually taking her home to long island, where we bought a house. seven acres on the gold coast of long island.
the most expensive real estate in the world. with maids, cooks, landscapers, you name it. we even had two guards who worked in shifts. both named rocco. it was heaven on earth. naomi: wake up,you piece of shit! ow! who's venice? huh?
who? who? who? "who?" what are you,a fucking owl? who is she? (stuttering) some little hookeryou were fuckinglast night? what the fuckare youtalking about? no. no way, baby, no! you were callingher name in your sleep!
are you out of yourfucking mind? i don't... i don't even knowwho venice is. what the fuckdoes that even mean?venice. that's the stupidest shiti've ever heardin my fucking life! (romantic music) jordan: (slurring)venice... venice, baby,where are you? venice! where'd you go?
oh, baby.oh, you're gonnaplay rough, huh? oh, jesus christ! you like that? i like it. i like it. ow. wolfie, wolfie,wolfie, wolfie. wolfie? yeah, it's my safe word,baby. it's my safe word. i don't give a fuckabout your safe word! (screams) come on!
shut the fuck up! ahh! shut up,you little bitch! you're a fuckingdirty little birdy! owie! that's right. that's right!i forgot. (chuckling)i forgot, baby. donnie and iwere investing
in a condominiumcomplex in venice. that's whyall this confusion. oh, you're investingin italy? not italy. california. oh, california? you're a lyingpiece of shit! duchess, baby,come on. don't you fucking"duchess" me. don't you "duchess" me!
(apologizing) do you really thinkthat i don't knowwhat you're up to? you're a father now,jordan. you're a father now. i know... and you're still actinglike an infant! (screams)god damn it! baby, you know,you gotreal anger issues. who is the onewho flew in here
at 3:00 in the morningon their stupid helicopter and woke up skylar?that was you! oh, skylar!oh, fucking bullshit! (alarms blaring) (baby crying) does it even matter to you that i just hadthat driving range sodded withbermuda grass,jordan, and now youfucking wrecked it!
oh, my god... bermuda grass. no, you didn't researchthe whole thing and deal with the fuckinggolf course people! oh, my god, you had to dealwith the golf coursepeople, too! what a greek tragedy, honey!oh, my god! you probably hadto pay them in cashwith your hands! what a fucking burden. and actually do some workbesides swiping
my fuckingcredit card all day, huh? because i can'tkeep track ofyour professions, honey. 'cause last monthyou werea wine connoisseur. now you're an aspiringlandscape architect! let me getthat right... no! fuck you! don't fuckingdare throw that fucking water at me.don't you fucking dare. all right, honey?
now will you just... we could talk this out,all right? we just use our words.you know? communicate. come on, sweetheart. talk to me.talk to me. stop flexingyour muscles, jordan. you look likea fucking imbecile. babe, come on.
you should feel happyyou got a husband who's in such great shapelike this, huh? come here. come on,give me a kiss. you look so beautifulright now. kiss you? you look so beautiful... yeah, give me one... ah, yes, my morning ritual.
first i'd get up and fight with naomi about whatever it is i did the night before. next was a steam so i could sweat out the drugs still in my system. then i'd assess the damage. drown out my eyeballs. take my "back pills" to get the day started, then seek to make up with naomi. good morning, daddy.
where's my kiss? whee! hey, sweetheart. does daddy geta kiss from bothof his little girls, huh? oh, no. no, daddy doesn't evenget to touch mommy for a very, very, very long time. daddy's really sorryabout what he saidin the other room.
he didn't meanany of it. daddy shouldn'twaste his time. and from now on, it's gonna benothing but short, short skirtsaround the house. and you knowsomething else, daddy? mommy is justso sick and tiredof wearing panties. yeah? in fact,
she's decidedto throw them all away. (sighing) so takea good look, daddy. you're gonna be seeingan awful lotof this around the house. oh, baby... yeah, mommy. yeah... but no touching.
oh, gosh. ow. what's wrong, daddy? mmm, baby. god! look at this shit. okay. mommy likes to playgames with daddy. mommy, haveyou ever noticed anything odd about mr...
mr. fuzzy bearover there? his eyes seemto be a little bit odd,don't they? yeah, there's somethinga little bit differentabout his eyes. (gasps) yes!i think it's true.say "hi," mommy. say "hi" to roccoand rocco. say "hi." hi, fellas. see that, huh? of all the fucking days, she chooses today to give me blue balls!
i mean, today was the biggest day in stratton's history, and i needed to be thinking straight. hey, jordan! welcome. steve here yet? jordan: this was the day that we launched the steve madden ipo. donnie: troops are all here,everyone's all rallied,excited. jordan: everything had to run tight. it had to be perfect.
what the fuckis that kid doing? what's he doing? the biggest ipoin this firm's history. what the fuckis he doing? janet: is he...is he wearing a bow tie? how're you doing? good. you cleaningthe fish bowl? i just...i had a minute and...
you had a minute. and today youneeded to cleanthe fish bowl? today? i had finishedmy paperwork and i hada couple of minutes. okay.nice to meet you. on new issue day? on cocksucking,motherfuckingnew issue day? this is what you do? hey, everybody,listen up! this is what happenswhen you fuck with your petson new issue day!
(all groaning) take your little bow tie,get your shit, and get the fuck outof my office!you understand? (all jeering) everybody on point! we are hereto make money.everybody on point. jordan: a real wolf pit, which is exactly how i liked it. jordan, look whati caught in the lobby.i caught a genius. jordan: enter steve madden.
the greatamerican cobbler. red-hot ladies footwear impresario. and thanks to donnie, we were taking his company public. stratton oakmont was crawling out of the primordial ooze. pond scum no more. that's why they gottasee your face. you get them fired upso they push the shitout of this stock. okay? and not only that, donnie and i secretly owned 85% of steve madden shoes,
which legally speaking was a big no-no, but we'd get filthy fucking rich if our troops got behind it. our job was to get them worked up. but not too worked up. shh. hello. if, uh... (whistles) for those of youwho don't know me, uh... my name's steve madden.
yeah, we knowwho you are. (laughter) your name is on the box. get the shoes.show them the shoes. show them the shoes. okay. yeah. anyway, you know,this shoe is pretty cool. this is the mary lou,which is really the shoethat put me on the map. without it,i wouldn't be here.
it's a fat girls' shoe! believe it or not...believe it or not though, the mary louis actually the same as the mary jane,but it's black leather. (jeering) whoa, whoa, whoa! fight back! come on!where you at?where you at? all right! let's give it upfor steve maddenand his awesome mary lou!
hold that up.hold that up.hold that up proud! give him a roundof applause! you guys got thatout of your systems, huh? you having a good afternoonor what? i wanna take a momentand tell youwhy steve here is so absolutely offthe fucking wall. it's because this man is a creative genius. this ability, this gift
that steve has, it goes beyond just spotting the hottestshoe trends. steve's power is thathe creates trends. you understand? artists like stevecome alongonce every decade. i'm talking giorgio armani,gianni versace, coco chanel, yves saint laurent. steve, come over herefor a second.
i don't thinkyou all realize that steve madden is the hottest personin the women's shoe industry, with orders goingthrough the roof at every department storein north america right now. we have him herein our office! we should thankour fucking lucky starsthis man is here! we should beon our handsand knees right now, getting readyto suck this guy off!
like this! okay? i wanna suckyou off, steve! everyone's gonnasuck you off! this is our golden ticket to the fuckingchocolate factoryright here! (cheering) and i wanna meet willy fucking wonka,okay? i wanna be with thefucking oompa loompaslike this!
all right, get offthis fucking stage!get out of here. all right, i want you allto focus for a second. see thoselittle black boxes? they're called telephones. i'm gonna let you inon a little secretabout these telephones. they're not gonna dialthemselves. okay? without you, they're justworthless hunks of plastic. like a loaded m16without a trained marineto pull the trigger. and in the caseof the telephone,
it's up to eachand every one of you, my highly-trainedstrattonites. my killers! my killers, who will nottake no for an answer! my fucking warriors, who will nothang up the phone until their clienteither buys or fucking dies! let me tellyou something.
there is no nobilityin poverty. i have been a rich manand i have been a poor man. and i choose richevery fucking time. because at leastas a rich man, when i have to facemy problems, i show up inthe back of a limo, wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000gold fucking watch! duke it out! hit him!
get the fuck off me! and if anyone herethinks i'm superficial or materialistic, go get a jobat fucking mcdonald's, 'cause that's whereyou fucking belong! but before you departthis room full of winners, i want you to takea good look at the personnext to you. go on. because sometime inthe not-so-distant future,
you're gonnabe pulling upto a red light in your beat-upold fucking pinto, and that person'sgonna be pulling upright alongside you in their brandnew porsche with their beautifulwife by their side, who's got bigvoluptuous tits. (all laugh) and who're yougonna be sitting next to? some disgustingwildebeest
with three daysof razor-stubble, in a sleeveless muumuu, crammed in nextto you in a carloadfull of groceries from the fuckingprice club! that's who you're gonna besitting next to! so you listen to meand you listen well. are you behindon your credit card bills? good! pick up the phoneand start dialing! is your landlordready to evict you?good!
pick up the phoneand start dialing! does your girlfriendthink you're a fuckingworthless loser? i want you to dealwith your problems by becoming rich! all you have to do today is pick up that phone and speak the wordsthat i have taught you. and i will make you richer than the most powerful ceo
in the united statesof fucking america! fuck, yeah! i want you togo out there and i want you to ram steve madden stockdown your clients' throats until they fuckingchoke on it! till they choke on itand they buy 100,000 shares!that's what i want. yeah! fuck, yeah.
you be ferocious! you be relentless! you be telephonefucking terrorists! now let's knockthis motherfuckerout of the park! (cheering loudly) (peppy song) jordan: at 1:00 p.m., we opened the stock for sale at $4.50 a share. by 1:03, it was over $18. even the big wall street firms were buying.
of the two million sharesoffered for sale, a million belonged to me,held in phony accountsby my ratholes. now once the pricehit the high teens... (chuckles) you know what?who gives a shit? as always,the point is this. $22 millionin three fucking hours! can you believethis shit? i fucking love this, baby! it's amazing!
janet: jordan! barry kleinman'son the phone from future video. i don't know.he shot at your wedding. he says it's urgent. urgent? who the fuckis barry kleinman? oh, my god,you wanna marry me? you're in love with me? yeah. go fuckyour cousin!
hey, barry, what's up? listen, i got this subpoena. subpoena? what the fuck are you talking about? yeah, the fbi,they want a copy of your wedding video. jordan: the fucking fbi? you fucking kidding me? bo: listen to me. his name is denham.
he's an agent with the new york office. jordan: what's his problem? bo: he's a boy scout. he thinks you're fucking gordon gekko. jordan: what does he wantwith my wedding video? it's like an invasionof my privacy. you know what i'm saying?it's like... it's intrusive, you know. he's got pictures of yourwhole inner fucking circle. pictures, namesof the people.
you knowwhat he's trying to do? exactly what he's doing.look at yourself. he's trying to rattle you, he's trying to rattleyour old lady, so she nags youuntil you becomea fucking witness. he wants meto rat on myself? he wants meto give informationabout my... listen. the goodfucking news is, you know i knoweverybody downtown,
i call up thejustice department,the dea, nobody even knowsyou fucking exist,so calm down! they don't know i exist? that's good. but you... you knowwho he is, right? so, if i justwanted to get some more information,just find outwhat he knows, you could goto his house, right?
tap his phonesa little bit, bug him. you could getsome information... you don't fuck withthese guys like that. you don't fuck withthem like that. what are you,nuts or something? this is what you fucking do.what do i pay you for? i have a fuckingp.i. license, you know?i make a living at this. i'm not a cop anymore. they'll takemy fucking licenseaway from me, all right?
okay, if i can't do that,can i just... can i givethe guy a call? why? is that... jordan. jordan. do me a favor? the only one whocalls this guyis your fucking lawyer. i can't call him, right? it's against the rules? i told you,
whatever the fuckyou say to him, he's gonna use against you.don't you understand? he's smart,you're dumb. fucking bullshit. are we fuckingtalking tonight, or are you gonnaget schwacked? the last time youtook these fucking pills, you put your head inthe fucking macaroni.i had to pick it up. all right.
okay,i won't call him. hey, fellas!come on board. the plank'sright around there. welcome! whoo!what a nice day. hey. welcome aboard. jordan.welcome aboardthe naomi. pleasure to meet you.
agent denham.this is agent hughes. hi, how are you? let me introduce you.this is nicole, heidi.come on. don't be shy. what are you guysall shy for?don't be scared. these are friendsof stratton. it's a pleasure. hello. um...(chuckles nervously) your message saidthat you wantedto speak privately.
right. i do wantto speak privately. give us a minute,huh, ladies? let me knowif i can getyou anything. we'd be happy to help. you guys hungry? want something to eat? got some pasta,shrimp, lobster. i got whiskey.any kind of boozeyou want. you know what?the bureaudoesn't allow us
to drink whilewe're at sea. duh! of course. (both chuckle) ever been on oneof these before? a boat? i learned how to sailwhen i was six. no shit. is that right?really? on one like this, though? i had the whole frontextended in order to fitthe chopper up there.
see that? anyway, this is for you. it's a complete listof every personthat was at my wedding. i understand you wantedthe whole wedding video. figured this wouldhelp expeditethe whole process, right? there you go. look, my point is that i know you're investigatingstratton.
but for the life of me,i can't figure out why. i know we'rea little unorthodox,we're a little loud in the waywe do things.but you gotta understand, we're the new guyson the block, you know, we're trying to makea name for ourselves. but i want youto understand,we don't do anything illegal. whatsoever. i mean, you couldtalk to the sec.
they were at my office15 times overthe last six months. i mean, i got...i got nothing to hide. well, you knowthe sec is a civilregulatory agency. we pursuecriminal activities. exactly! you go afterreal criminals, which makes me wonderwhat the hellyou're investigating me for? (both chuckling) i mean, honestly... what is it that you thinkthat we did or do?i don't get it.
well, i... look, jordan,i can't discussan ongoing investigation. no, i get that.no, i understand. with that said... this case got dumpedon my desk... did it? you know,by a higher-up who needsto make a show of looking intothe new companyon the block,
with all the pressand everything. new loud guys. and then i end upbeing the schmuck who does the looking.exactly. it's just, you know...it bothers me. we're the new guy.we're the one that's bangingon wall street's door.i mean, you should... you should seewhat's going onat the bigger firms. i mean,i know all the information.
it's true! goldman,lehman brothers,merrill... collateralizeddebt obligations? this internetstock bullshit? i mean,it's a fucking travesty. i could takeyou step-by-step through what exactlyis occurring. all you haveto do is ask. i'm available. that's exactly whati wanted to hear.
i don't see why a littlesitdown like this can't be profitablefor the both of us. it should. right?it should profitthe both of us. it should. look. i'm gonna give youmy personal line. five days a week,you just call me,feel free. i'll do that. are you sureyou guys don't wantsomething to drink?
you're not hungry?nothing? nothing? no? let me ask you, and if you don'twanna get too personal, just tell meto shut up at any time. did you try to getyour broker's licenseat one time? did i hear that right?were you trying to takea stab at wall street? no? (chuckles) who you been talking to?
who the fuckyou been talking to? well, you'reinvestigating me. i hear things. you know what i mean? you ever think aboutwhat would've happened if you would havestayed the course? you know what?when i'm riding homeon the subway and my ballsare fucking sweating, i'm wearing the same suitthree days in a row...
yeah, you bet i do. i've thoughtabout it before.who wouldn't, right? right, whofucking wouldn't? what do you get... another personal question,no need to answer... no, that's all right,jordan. what do you pull in?50, 60k?something like that? a year?in the ballpark? let's put it this way.
you get a free handgun when you sign upfor the bureau. no, but it fuckingpisses me off.you know what i mean? you think aboutthe people that builtthis country, hardworking peoplelike you. firefighters, teachers,fbi agents. end of the day,you guys get fuckingskinned alive financially. it fucking makesme angry. now the one thingabout wall streetand this market is,
for me, i feel it's good to give back.you know, there's... there are situationswhere i can make those situationsbetter for people. you know? you know what i mean. opportunity is everything. exactly. take for example,i got this one kid, right?
went to school forenvironmental science,something like that. he was bogged downby student loans. turns out,his mother neededtriple bypass surgery. jesus. right.horrible situation. but we got himinto the market at the right timeand chosethe right stock. we gave himthe right guidance. boom! overnight,changed his entire life.
got to puthis mother into the best hospitalin new york city. it didn't work outfor her, granted, she passed away,unfortunately. but we gave himthat opportunity. you know whati'm saying? it's just about setting upthe right team, and then overnightyour life can change. what does...what does an intern...
what does an internmake in a deal like that? well, in that situation, in that particular trade,and it was one trade, north of halfa million dollars. and i'd do thatfor anybody, you know, anybody that needsthe proper guidance. can you saythat again, just the wayyou said it? just the same way.
i don't know whatyou're talking about. oh, come on! you knowwhat i'm talking about. i think what jordanjust did is he... if i'm not mistaken... ...you just triedto bribea federal officer. no, technicallyi didn't bribe anybody. no, no, that's notthe conversationi heard, jordan. no, no, accordingto the u.s. criminal code, there needs to bean exact dollar figure
for the exchangeof services. that would not hold upin a court of law. nah, it's not howi heard it. no, no, no, that's the truth.but i want to tell you this. the same gentlemanthat told me that you tried to getyour broker's license also told me thatyou are a straight arrow. he ran a securitycheck on me. yeah, when you sailon a boatfit for a bond villain,
sometimes you need to playthe part. right? i think it's time you bothget the fuck off my boat. what do you say?hmm? you know, jordan,i'll tell you something. most of the wall streetjackasses that i bust, they're tothe manor born. is that right? their fathersare douchebags, just like their fathersbefore them.
you, jordan,you got this wayall on your own. did i? good for you,little man. little man? good for you. me, the little man? and let metell you something. let me tell yousomething else. honestly, i'm notbullshitting here,
this is one ofthe nicest boats that i've ever been on,i gotta tell you. i bet it is. and you knowwhat i was justthinking, too? the fucking herothat i'm gonna beback at the office when the bureau seizesthis fucking boat. because, i mean,fuckety-fuck-fuck, jordan, look at this thing! (both laughing loudly)
it's beautiful! and you gotthe beautiful girls there.it's wonderful. all right,get the fuckoff my boat. i'm sure we'll be seeingeach other real soon. i'm sure. good luck on thatsubway ride home to your miserable,ugly fucking wives. i'm gonna have heidi licksome caviar off my ballsin the meantime.
hey, you guys wantto take some lobstersfor your ride home? fucking miserable pricks,i know you can't afford them! fucking cheap fucks. fucking miserable pricks.(whistles) hey, fellas! look whati found in my pocket! look! a year's salary right here. you know what i call them?fun coupons! see that! they're fun coupons!
(sighs) switzerland?what the fuck isin switzerland? jordan: swiss fucking banks, that's what. it was ass-covering time. i had to hide my money. enter rugrat. he knew this swiss banker from law school. that's for european pussy! jordan: but he was in geneva. and there was no way i was gonna make that flight sober.
so i knew if i took my drugs right, i could sleep through the entire flight. but i had to take them just right. at 4:00 p.m., i popped a few more ludes, which started kicking in by the time i finished my sales meeting. my tingle phase. by dinner, i popped a few more on top of some cocktails and a valium or two.
my slur phase. (upbeat music) by 8:30, i took a few more ludes and pretty much lost all my motor skills. this was the drool phase. and by 10:00, i didn't know who or what the fuck i was. the amnesia phase. we boarded the plane just before midnight. wow! look at you!
you're beautiful. excuse me, sir. his sleeping pillsjust kicked in.he's all right. may i see yourboarding passes, sir? we have the boarding passes. jesus christ,i wanna fuck her. hey! fucking relax. oh, my god!you got your handon my fucking cock! i don't. cut it out.
he's got his handon my dick again. i'm just tryingto buckle you up. you got your handon his dick? you gotta stop doingthat in public places. oh, my god.take it off! take it off! i heard there'sa treasure map under here. stop! i know, miss. please sit down.
watch it. go back toyour seat, please. what are you upset about? please go backto your seat. i will have to callthe captain. please, sir,please, sir.sit down. please sit down! nicky: ow! i'm going! stop.
okay, sorry. we apologize.we're gonna go to sleep. question. i wannaask you a question. fasten your seat belt, sir. we cannot take offif you haven't fastened your seat belt. i'm really horny, too. stewardess:sit down. fasten it. right. okay,i'll sit down...
i will do it for you. donnie: what? i'll do it for you. jordan:you gotta speak english. we don't understandthis languageyou're speaking. i will help himwith his seat belt. you gottaput it on right. sit back. sit back, sir. all right.i'll just lean back...
bitte, hilfe! (both mimicking stewardess) jesus christ! fuck! donnie... donnie, this isn't funny.you gotta untie me, buddy. i can't untie you. the captain tied you up. he almost fuckingtasered you.
why? (indistinct yelling) he's got a fear of flying. donnie:he's very nervouson planes, i'm sorry, it's not you sweetheart,don't beat yourself up. easy, easy. he's fine.he's just a nervous flyer. you were screamingat people. oh, fuck off. you were on the floorrolling around and shit.
oh, jesus. you called the captainthe n-word. i called the captainthe n-word? yeah, he wasvery upset. luckily we'rein first class. jesus christ, i thinkyou have afucking drug problem. where are the ludes? they're up my ass.don't worry about it. i got it.
(sighs) okay. thank god. jesus christ,what are we gonna do when we getto switzerland,buddy? this is bad. fucking things are againstmy chest. i can't breathe. come on, do somethingto calm me down. please. okay, shut the fuck up.shut the fuck up. (whimpering)
okay. shh! shh! (sing-song) go to sleep. rub it harder, buddy. you're all right. we all love you.shut the fuck up! (both speaking french) mr. belfort, you're free to go. nicky: hey, donnie.
nicky: when we get out there,try not to act like yourself. okay? let's make genevaan asshole-freedonnie zone, all right? donnie: what are youfucking coming at me for? hey, listen. the only reasonyou're sitting in this limo and not in a swiss jailis because of my friend. okay? hilfe! (all chuckle) nicky: we're here.we're here.everyone calm down. jordan belfort!
at last. nicholas has told meso much about you. jordan,jean jacques saurel. pleasure to makeyour acquaintance. jean jacques: it's a joke. you'll understandwhen you're inthe fucking seat. you need a bigger couch.for guests. yeah. yeah, yeah.i don't understand.i'm sorry. i'm curious aboutyour bank secrecylaws here.
uh... wait. yes. excusez-moi, jordan. swiss custom requires10 minutes of... blah, blah, blah. chit chat. yeah, chit chat,thank you. ...before businesscan be discussed. let's get down to it.what would youlike to know? under what circumstanceswould you be obligated to cooperate with an fbi
or a u.s. justice departmentinvestigation, for example? ca depend. ca depend? oui. ca depend on what, exactly? whether america plansto invade switzerland in the coming months. shall i check if tanksare rolling downthe rue de la croy? yes. rue de la croix.
croix. croix. not croy.not rue de la croy.it's croix. see, this is whathe used to do backin law school. check me. champagne. champagne. yeah, yeah.french fries, pommes frites. and that kind of stuff. that's funny. jordan: what i'm asking, you swiss dick, is are you going to fuck me over?
jean jacques: i understand perfectly, you american shit. the only waythe banque real de geneve would cooperatewith a foreign legal body is if the crimebeing pursued is also a crimein switzerland. but there are very fewswiss laws whichapply to your practices. from a financialstandpoint, you are now in heaven.
see, i told youhe was fantastic,right? if the u.s. justice departmentsent us a subpoena,it would become papier toilette. we would wipeour ass with it. unless, of course,it was an investigation into stock fraud, which is a crime herein switzerland,if i'm correct. then there wouldhave to be cooperationon your part, if i'm not mistaken.
yes. yes, we would.mmm-hmm. assuming the accountis under your name. if it were another name, a friend's, camarade... cousin? (agreeing in french) relative?
jean jacques: yeah. jordan: was that yodeling i just heard or did you just say what i thought you said? jean jacques: yes. yes. jordan: he's telling me to use a fucking rathole. but a u.s. rathole would never get into switzerland with all that money. what i needed was a rathole with a european passport. jordan.
hey. how's my favoriteaunt, huh? welcome.was the traffic terrible? oh, no, not at all. jordan, come in. thank god aunt emma didn't need too much convincing. turned out the british weren't too different from the swiss. money talks and bullshit takes the bus. how do you say "rathole" in british? if you get intoany trouble whatsoever,
i'll come forth immediately.i'll say that i duped you. that i promise. risk is whatkeeps us young,isn't it, darling? sometimes i wonder if you let money getthe best of you, my love. among other substances. oh. (chuckles) it's that obvious, huh?
it's chilly, darling,and you'resweating bullets. what can i say? i'm... i'm a drug addict. i really am. cocaine, pills, whatever it is,i'll fucking do it.(chuckles) now that's the truth. i mean... i'm a sex addict, too.
well, there are worse thingsto be addicted to than sex. jesus, why ami telling you all this?why am i... because i'm very easyto talk to. you are.you are easy to talk to. mmm. i suppose it's... just my job,you know. all these peopledependent on me. tens of millionsof dollars at stake,you know.
sometimes i feel like i... i've bitten off more thani can chew, you know. you're a manwith large appetites. is she fucking hitting on me? yeah, i am. i suppose i put thaton myself though, right? my decision. it's just hard to... hard to learn to controlthe anxiety sometimes,you know?
you know, to... learn to relaxand let go and... to release the tension. jordan: she is hitting on me. holy shit! yeah, to releasethe tension. i suppose we, uh... we all just needto learn, uh... learn to do whatcomes naturally in life,you know?
emma: is he fucking hitting on me? stability, dear. family. you take careof my niece, my love. i'll take care ofeverything over here. deal. jordan: (moaning)come on! there you go. we had, literally, a fuckload of money. aunt emma could never carry all this by herself.
so i thought to myself, who else has a european passport? brad, you're making thistoo fucking tight! now brad, as a successful drug dealer, spent his winters in the south of france, which is where he met his wife, chantalle, a stripper of slovenian origin born, in of all places, switzerland. well, this is fucked.
oh. no shit. like, this willtake her like 50 trips. let me askyou something? what about her family?right? i mean, they all gotswiss passports, right. she's got parents,she's got a brother,right? the brother's got a wife.that's five fucking people. six, seven trips,boom, right? they're all fuckingswiss nitwits like her.
they'll do it. we could do that. at least i have a family,you crooked-nose fuck! hey, uh, don't forgetabout my money. i'm sorry, what's that? yeah, i forgot to tell you.he's got some... he's got some money. my money. i got a couple of milcoming in like a week.
when it gets in,i'll give you a call,you come pick it up. you give me a call? when it gets here,i'll give you a call andyou'll come pick it up. well, we don't fuckingwork for you, man! (shushing) donnie: sweetheart, you have my moneytaped to your tits. okay? technically,you do work for me. hey, jordan,we're gonnaneed to talk.
if i fucking do this,i'm telling you right now, i ain't goingto him, okay. i'm not afucking shvartze. i don't do fuckingpickups, all right? well, listen to me. we meet someplacethat i fucking say. and you tell thatfucking piece of shit, he comes correct. i will.
he comes in all fuckingloopy and fucked up,i swear to god i'll mash thatdouchebag's teeth in. you're gonna mashwhose fucking teeth in? whose fucking teethare you gonna mash in? i put the money on thatfucking table! not you! i'm the reasonwe have this wholefucking deal! he's got a gun,you fucking idiot! fuck his gun! i put thatmoney in there!
you know what?you're a fuckingpill dealer. i got five morejust like you, bro. keep talking,you fucking pieceof shit! you know what else?you dress like shit! so fuck you! fucking motherfucker! oh! jesus! how about that, faggot?who's a faggot? jordan:you okay? hey, pal.
the next day, aunt emma flew to geneva. two million in cash in her carry-on, which in the big picture was a drop in the swiss bucket. 'cause the following month, over the course of six round trips, chantalle's family and friends smuggled in over 20 million in cash without even a hiccup.
and i havesome more. here. oh, thank you. and here. jean jacques: welcome. chantalle: welcome.(giggling) yeah, likefour bags of it. ooh! are you swiss-slovakianor swiss-slovenian?
slovenian. slovenian? who cares.you're blonde. oh, stop. (brakes screeching) shit. just put thefucking car in park, you dumbfucking idiot! i can't closethis briefcase.
one fucking day. one fucking day,you couldn't keepit together? i'm fucked up, brad. gotta be fuckingkidding me. fucked up. it's a joke. it's a joke? i'm sober. jesus fucking christ!
it's a fucking joke. are you fucking stupid? i'm not stupid. you fucking drivein here like afucking maniac, you know theattention thatthat fucking draws? i'm not stupid.i'm smart. smart? i makemillion-dollar deals. that right?
with smart importantpeople, unlike you. people who don'tsucker-punch people when they'rescared. okay? i'm scared, huh? and by the way, i haven't gottenan apology yet for that. you want an apology, okay. i check my fuckingmessages every day when i come home from work.
did you? my answering machine.zero. didn't get one, huh? i got a blinking light, because i don't haveshit from you. you know what, you gota big fucking mouth, okay? i got my wifechecking the messages every 45 minutescalling the office,saying, "has brad apologized yet?
"is there anapology messageon the machine?" i don't have jack shit.you know what? that's not howyou treat people. you got a big fuckingmouth, you know. i'm gonna give youa fucking pass.just give me the case. (scoffs) you're gonnagive me a pass? look, it's a figureof fucking speech. oh, my gosh.the emperor of fucksville came down from fucksvilleto give me a pass!
from fucksville, huh? hey, what are the citizensof fucksville doing today when theiremperor's gone? is it mayhem? are people lootingand raping? what are all thelittle fuckheads doingwhile you're here? go fuck yourself!give me the bag. you back the fuck up. i'll cause the biggestfucking scene
that i've evercaused in my life if you come at me again. you know what? just fuckingkeep it down. i got... i don't wanna beout of line or anything, but i think you like,like me. like you... like when youcome at me... what's the matter with you?what the fuck is...
...and you look at me.i swear i just noticed it. you have likea fucking, like... like a twinkle.you have like a twinkle. are you tryingto kiss me, bro? jesus fucking christ. what's with you? i have a...i don't know. it's not ahomophobic thing. all right...
you're just notthe one for me, pal. you know what i mean?it's not... it's not about thatfor me, you know. i've heard enough. please, i'm begging,give me the fucking case. i'm gonna giveyou the case. give me the case. you gotta dome one favor. what's that?
you gotta take this case, you gotta drivestraight home, need you to open upthe briefcase, and you take outevery single dollar. don't leave one dollarinside the briefcase. and once you have it all neatly organizedoutside the briefcase, i need you to take itand i need you toshove it right up your wife's latvian cunt,you understand?
my fucking wife! chill! chill, bro. fuck. you motherfuckingpiece of shit! how about now? (siren wailing) donnie: go, go! brad: fuck! (engine starting) motherfuck!you're fucking dead!
stop! don't move!don't move! stop, or i will blow youthe fuck away! drop the case!put your handsin the air! get down. (screams) get down on your knees!get down on your knees! motherfucker! jordan, do i havea surprise for you! twenty real lemmons.
retired pharmacist'sclient of mine, they've been in thesafe for 15 years. are you fuckingkidding me? lemmons? ha-ha! donnie:they're gonna knock uson our fucking heads. jordan: when it comes to quaaludes, the lemmon 714 was the holy grail. can you believe it? donnie: i thoughtthey were like a myth.
jordan: three times as powerful as anything available today. boy, donnie really knew how to celebrate. he said he was saving these for a special occasion. like a birthday, or being clap free, or our money arriving safely in switzerland. (retches) so that night, i cleared my schedule and i rid my body of anything that could fuck with my high.
it was celebration time. start off with one,see how it goes? my guy saysall we'll need is one. here you go. salud! cheers. maybe if i pull it again, it'll go down. steve! steve! i gotta get out of here!
carl, i think i got it figured out. it must be one pull for up and two pulls for down. okay. do you feel anything? it's been 35 minutes. maybe we've built upa tolerance after all theseyears, huh? donnie: this is bullshit! my metabolism's pumping.i can't feel shit!
they're old. you think they losttheir potency, huh? check the bottle! january '81. they're fucking duds. let's take, uh... let's taketwo more each. naomi: jordan. yeah, baby.
what are youtwo retards doing? we're working out, honey. well, bo dietl'son the phone. hey, bo, what's going on? jordan, listento me clearly. i cannot talk to youon this phone, i have to talk to you. get out of here. what's going on? listen to me!leave the fuckinghouse, jordan,
and then call mefrom a pay phone. this is nota fucking joke, jordan. yeah, yeah. yeah. what'd he say? i don't know whatthe fuck's going on. i gotta go! is everythingokay, jordan? jordan: the closest pay phone i could get to was at the brookville country club.
it was a real wasp stronghold, just a mile down the road from my house. hey, bo,what's up, it's me.what's going on? i'm at a pay phone.what's going on? listen to me carefully. please. your littlefriend there, brad, your little buddy,he's in jail. what the fuck'she in jail for? what'd he do?
i don't know what he did. my friendsin long island told me he got picked upin some fuckingshopping mall. he got locked up by... wait, wait. did you...did you saya shopping mall? he was with donnie. he was supposedto deliver some money, then that fucking fatpiece of shit... listen to me!
i gotta go fuckingtalk to him right now! listen to me! don't go!listen to me. that guy denham,that fbi agent guy, somebody told me he'sgot your phones tapped. your office and your home. don't talk on the motherfucking phone! okay. fuck! i got it.i got it. i got it. jordan. you didn't try to bribe thisfucking fbi agent, did you?
no, i didn't try tobribe an fbi agent. you think i'm thatfucking stupid? no. what the fuck did you say? i can't understand you. say that again. i said...(speaking gibberish) what the fuck are you saying? (panting) i said... are you fucking high?
(speaking gibberish) jordan, are you fucking high? jordan, do me a favor, stay where you are. don't get behind the wheel of the car. i'm gonna send rocco over to pick you up. jordan! jordan! jordan: after 15 years in storage, the lemmons had developed a delayed fuse. it took 90 minutes for these little fuckers to kick in.
but once they did... pow! i mean, i had skipped the tingle phase and went straight to the drool phase. bo: tell me where you are! don't fucking drive... jordan: these little bastards were so strong, i discovered a whole new phase. the cerebral palsy phase. come on, stand up!
okay, walking's out. all right, think, think. what else is there? yes! i can crawl. i can crawl like skylar! (grunts) fuck! the kid makes it look so goddamn easy! think, you motherfucker, think! yes! i got it! i've got it! i can roll! i can roll!
(groans) (moaning) (cell phone ringing) (jordan yelling) naomi: jordan. (jordan yells) oh, jesus. where are you? (slurring)i'm at a country club! what?
i'm at a country club! i don't know what the fuck you're saying. look, you need to get home. donnie is out of control! he's on the other line with some swiss guy. i don't know... get him off the phone! i can't understand you! get him off
the phone! i don't know what the fuck you're saying, jordan. can you just get home? hurry! (jordan yelling gibberish) jordan: i was less than a mile from home. i drove as slow as i fucking could. i'd seen jell-o move faster. donnie: (slurring) i was gonna give you 2 million. i's gonna be lates.
you ate 2 million? later. jordan: get off the phone. get off the fucking phone! idiot! (car honking) man: get out of the way,asshole! (donnie speaking gibberish) you hate 2 million? no, you don't hate2 million, donnie.
jordan: by some miracle, i made it home alive, not a scratch on me or the car. (donnie mumbling) (tv playing) naomi: jordan? what did you take? what's wrong with you? jor! it's fucking good, right?
fucked up! get off the phone! what the fuck, jordan? your daughter'sin the house! i hope you know that! your fucking daughter'sin the house! (donnie laughing) yeah, it'sreal fucking funny, donnie. naomi: jesus christ, jordan.
the fbi! i'm on phone! get off the fucking phone! come here! ...the phone. naomi: come on. we're gonnago upstairs, all right. i'm on the phone! on the phone! i know what you did,
you piece of shit! what? what? brad! you fucking cocksucker! what did you do, you piece of shit? i wanna fucking kill you! i got you! (coughs)
(choking) what the fuck happened? jordan? jordan,are you all right? donnie? donnie? donnie? jordan, he's not breathing. oh, fuck,i don't know what to do. jordan, i don't knowwhat the fuck to do! i can't help him!oh, my god. jordan.
oh, my god, i thinkhe's choking, jordan.do something. oh, god. jordan: baby, i got you! he's not breathing, jordan.you gotta do something! shit! oh, my god!oh, my god! olive oyl: ah! i got you. (inhaling) step aside!
move aside, baby. (jordan grunting) come on! come on! come on! jordan, he's not breathing.you gotta do something. jordan, he's a father!he's got fucking kids! do something! (blowing) naomi: rocco,you gotta get over here.
call an ambulance! i don't fucking know! just get over here!call 911. (gasping) you all right?he's all right. police officer:mr. belfort? mr. belfort? jordan: get the fuck outof here. fuck. (coughs) sir, we need toask you some questions.
are you fuckingkidding me? fuck you. police officer:come on, get up. get the fuckout of my house. let's go. i've been here all night. i been sittinghere all night. what the fuck areyou talking about? where you taking him? where you taking me?
you ain't gotno warrant. just come upin people's houselike that! did you driveyour car tonight,mr. belfort? well? jordan: wow! maybe i hadn't made it home okay. get out of thefucking way! police officer:did you drive that car tonight?
yeah, right. i'm a family man! family man. honey! it was a miracle i wasn't killed, or that i didn't kill anybody else. the cops took me in for questioning, but they couldn't charge me. they had no proof i was even behind the wheel. meanwhile,
brad did three months in jail for contempt because he wouldn't rat donnie out. the result, i was scot-free. but i had eyes on me like never before. manny:you're a lucky man, jordan. you're lucky to be alive,let alone not in jail. you know i don'tbelieve in luck, right? but it's time.
please, let mecall the secand cut a deal before your luck runs out. naomi: wave to daddy. hey, sweetie. what kind of termswould you be talkingabout if i... manny: i don't know. you plead guiltyto a handful ofsecurities violations, stock manipulation,high-pressure sales tactics. ticky-tack shitlike that, you know.
you pay a couplemillion dollars in fines, in exchange,the sec fucks offtill the end of time. and stratton? what happensto stratton? there's no way...i mean... you gotto walk away. right? let donnie be in charge. right. donnie. now the fbi is anotheranimal completely. they'll still bepursuing you forcriminal wrongdoing.
however, with youstepping down voluntarily, my guess is thatyour best friendagent denham will be standing aroundwith his dick in his hand. max: jordan. what do youhave to think about? you beat them. you won! god knows you neverhave to work again. max: what're you gonna do?spend the rest ofyour life in jail?
is that what you want? of course not. okay! you gotall the moneyin the world. you need everybodyelse's money? of course not, pops. you know, i built it. i know you built it. you built it,so now preserve it. (all murmuring)
(applauding) (clears throat) you know, five years ago,when i startedstratton oakmont with donnie azoff,i knew the day would eventually comewhere i'd have tobe moving on. and it's trulywith a heavy heart that i'm hereto say that... that that dayis finally here.
i wanna... i want tothank you all for your... your years of loyaltyand admiration. but the point is this. under donnie's leadership, along with nicky koskoffand robbie feinberg moving into keymanagement positions,this place really is gonna bebetter than ever! that i promise you. okay? give them a roundof applause. come on.
this is ellis islandhere, people. i don't care who you are,where you're from, whether your relativescame over on thefucking mayflower or on an inner tubefrom haiti, this right hereis the land ofopportunity. stratton oakmontis america! all of you knowkimmie belzer, right? woman: yes, we do. (men whistling)
(all laughs) come on, kimmie. what you probablydidn't know is, kimmie was one ofthe first brokers here, one of stratton'soriginal 20. now most of youmet kimmie, the beautifulsophisticated womanthat she is today. a woman that wears$3,000 armani suits. who drives a brand-newmercedes-benz.
a woman who spends her wintersin the bahamas and summersin the hamptons! that's not the kimmiethat i met. the kimmie that i metdidn't have two nickelsto rub together. she was a single momon the balls of her ass with an 8-year-old son. okay? she wasthree months behindon her rent. and when she came to meand asked me for a job,
she asked fora $5,000 advance just so she couldpay her son's tuition. and what'd i do, kimmie? go on, tell them. you wrote me a check for $25,000. and you know why that is? it's becausei believed in you. it's becausei believedin you, kimmie,
just like i believe in each and every oneof you here today. i fucking love you,jordan! i fucking love you. i fucking love you!i love you. i fucking love you, too!i fucking love you, too! and i love all of you! and i love allof you from thebottom of my heart. i fucking love you, too.
i mean that. you are the shit.you are the fucking shit. it's a shame, you know. for years, i've beentelling you guys never to take nofor an answer, right? you know, to keep pushing,to never hang up the phone until you getwhat you want. because youall deserve it. you know, this fucking dealthat i'm about to sign
barring me fromthe securities industry, barring me from stratton, my home. what the fuck is that,you know? i'll tell youwhat it is. it's... it's me taking nofor an answer, you know. it's them... it's them selling me,not the other way around. it's me being a hypocriteis what it is.
so... i'm not leaving. i'm not fucking leaving! man: you're not gettinga fucking promotion! the show goes on! this is my home! they're gonna needa fucking wrecking ball to take me out of here! they're gonna need tosend in the national guard
or fucking swat team 'cause i ain'tgoing nowhere! fuck them! (humming) (all humming) jordy! jordy! jordy! get back here! give me that. (cawing)
max: what is this? ramar of the jungle, for christ sake? man: paddy d, mazel tov, you irishman. jordan belfort just welched on his deal with the sec. he is back in the ocean. happy hunting. (hip hop music) jordan: it was our time to party big. and just as brad was released from jail, too. i apologized, even offered to pay him
for his time in the can. but he said no, that he was out. he didn't want any part of us. sad thing was, two years later he was dead. massive heart attack. thirty-five. same age mozart died. not that they have a hell of a lot in common, but...
anyway, i don't know why that came to mind. within days, subpoenas started flying. notices to produce documents, depositions, you name it. donnie couldn't drink water fast enough. donnie:united states governmentwants to give me a subpoena? here's what we dowith subpoenasat stratton oakmont! fuck you, usa! fuck you! fuck you! fuck you!
all: (chanting) fuck you! attorney: alden.that's a nice name. thank you very much for that. what kind ofname is that? that is my name. i do not recall that. i do not recall that. okay? attorney: mr. ming,thank you for coming in today. are you gonna finishthe rest of that danish?
can i have that danish? no, no, go ahead. jordan: they interrogated everybody. i got a low blood sugar,thyroid thing. jordan: it went on for months. it was a total fucking harassment. tell him to proceedwith the questions. jordan: but not a single strattonite cracked. attorney:gladys carrera?
doesn't ring a bell. sorry, i have norecommendation of that. no idea. i don't recallthat transaction.you guys have any milk? absolutely not. attorney: francis sortigiyou called so many times i just thought youmight remember that. would you remember any of those? i do not recallany of that.
this abdul... i do not...no, i don't recall. attorney:it was a long phone call. i just wondered if you haveany memory of that. okay. you knowwe've talked to several of the employeesat this firm and nobodycan recall anything about this steve madden ipo. i think it's odd.
manny: do you recall cartage corporation? you do recall it? no, i don't recallthat at all. excuse me. i have to ask.is that your real hair? are you gonna sayanything about that? are you gonnacomment on my hair? is that how we're doing...is this personal questions? i'm just wonderingwhy you would wearsomething like that.
sorry. i don'trecall that company. can i get youanything else,gentlemen? yes. sweetheart,i have a rare condition which requires meto drink one of those every 15 minutes, please. we were specifically advised not to leave the country. so, we took our wives to italy. we figured we were safer working from overseas giving orders to rugrat.
nobody could arrest us and nobody could prove i was still running stratton from a yacht. hey, rugrat. bonjour. you bald-headed eagle,how you doing? donnie, donnie, listen! we have a problem, okay. your friend, steve madden,is unloading shares. what are you saying?who told you that?
what's going on? he's doing it, donnie! he said thatsteve madden'sunloading shares. who told you that?it's bullshit! give me thatgoddamn phone. jordan, look.i'm watching the screen and huge chunksof steve maddenare being sold, okay. it's not coming from us,so it's gotta be steve. he's the only personwith that many shares.
it's donnie.call me back, all right. donnie, yourlittle friend is trying to fuck me,you know that. your little friendis trying to fuck meright in the ass. get him onthe phone now! we don't know anything yet. let's not jumpto conclusions. jordan: even though i owned 85% of steve-cocksucking- motherfucking-madden shoes,
the shares were in his fucking name. this motherfucker knew i was in trouble with the feds and was trying to take advantage. talk to me, man.how do you wanna play this? i want you to getall our clients onthe phone right now and have them start sellingsteve madden. we're gonna drivethat fucking price down! do you hear me?shut the fuck up! this is yourfucking friendfrom high school.
if that little fucking prick thinks he can fuck with me, we'll turn his companyinto a penny stock!you hear me? yes. i got it! donnie: let's just not jump to conclusions before we know what's going on. captain ted! hang up your phones!everybody, hey! turn the boat around!we're going home! (naomi sobbing)
baby!baby, what happened? i just... sweetheart,what's going on? aunt emma... just wait. i can't... what's going on?why you crying? she's dead! who? who's dead?
i just got a call frommy cousin betty. aunt emma is dead. are you fuckingkidding me? you're serious? oh, my god!baby, that's... oh, fuck! oh, sweetheart,that's just... fucking heart attack! boom, snap, gone.
shuffled off her mortal coil. and $20 million stuck in a swiss bank account. the last timei talked to hershe was fine! she's not that old. oh, god! baby, oh, god! that's so fucking terrible! it is terrible. your aunt wassuch an elegant,attractive woman. my condolences to youand your family.
yes. we're absolutelydevastated. thank you so muchfor your condolences. now where doesthat leave us in regard to heraccount exactly? does it go into probateor what? not to worry, jordan.not to worry. your aunt, before she died, signed a documentnaming you asher successor. she did? (laughs)
fantastic!well, that's good news! well, not as of yet. what does that mean?not as of yet? (speaking in french) i can't seem to hear you. i must have bad reception.are you speaking english? very... now.fast. very fast. fast? i have to getto switzerland now?
speak english!fucking speak english! whoa! hey, hey, hey.hey! quiet, okay? take your suit,take your dick, okay, and move your ass! please. (speaking french) move my ass! yes! i gotta say, these swiss were some sneaky motherfuckers. within minutes, he had me set up with a forger who could fake aunt emma's signature.
you american shit! i just had to get there by tomorrow, or lose $20 million. we're going to monaco! monaco? now? yes, baby. we're going to monaco,so then we can go toswitzerland, okay? but her auntjust died. i realize that.
but i have businessin switzerland. i need to go toswitzerland right now. bottom line. sorry. we gotta get to london. why? why? the funeral! yeah, but babe.look, look... i loved your auntmore than anyonein the entire world. i really did.
but she's dead now, sweetie. she's deadand she's notgoing anywhere. she'll still be deadby the time we get to london, okay? captain ted!captain ted,all right, look. we're going to monaco.monaco now, okay? monaco, right. we're going to monacoso that we can driveto switzerland so they don'tstamp our passports.
take care of business here,we'll drive back to monaco, take a flight overto london to catchthe funeral and be in new yorkin three fuckingbusiness days! that's the fucking plan. i just want you toknow that we mightrun into some chop. chop? we can fuckinghandle chop, right? i mean, it's a170-foot yacht. no, no, no.we're not goinganywhere unless he saysit's safe, all right.
don't worryabout the chop. it's safe. you don't knowshit about chop. oh, really? and you do?you're a fuckingexpert on that. i'll chop your fuckingcredit card in half.how about that? chop is fine.trust me. chop is fine. is chop fine, captain ted? yeah. i mean,if we take it slow. yeah, we're gonnatake it slow.
it's a little uncomfortable.tell them it's safe. captain ted:it's gonna be safe. we'll batten downthe hatches and secure the deck. and we're lookingat a few... maybea few broken dishes. few broken dishes.(laughs) what's a fewbroken dishes? does that sound fuckingawesome or what? no. not really.
we're gonna havea fucking good time! let's go to fuckingmonaco now! let's fucking move!let's go! (thunder cracking) captain ted: hold on! what the fuckis going on out here? the jet skisjust wentoverboard! oh, jesus christ!honey, you okay? man: (over radio) gale warning! gale warning!
captain ted: the waves are20 feet high and building! turn around, let's gothe other fucking way. captain ted:we can't! go! we'll get broad-sided.it'll tip over! i am a master diver.you hear that? i'm a master diver! no one's gonnafucking die! i got you, baby.i got you.trust me, okay?
i love you, baby.just hold on tight. donnie! hold on, baby! hold on, baby. (whispering)get the fucking ludes. i don't wanna die, jordan! i did a lot of bad shit.i'm going to hell, jordan! (sobbing) i fucked up!i fucked up so bad! get the ludes!downstairs!
get the ludes! i can't go downthere, jordan.it's flooded. it's three feet ofwater down there! i will not die sober! get those fucking ludes! okay! naomi: where's he going? jordan: hold on, baby! naomi: donnie!is he fucking crazy?
jordan: he's justwarning everybody! (glass shattering) hold on! get away fromthe window! rogue wave! mayday! this is captainted beecham aboardthe yacht naomi! we are going down! i got 'em!
give me onefor the nerves! we're going down! captain ted:this is a fucking mayday! we requireimmediate assistance! watch out! (helicopter blades whirring) jordan: the nice thing about getting rescued by italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance.
did you see that? that was the plane i sent to come get us. i shit you not, it exploded when a seagull flew into the engine. three people killed. you want a sign from god? well, after all this, i finally got the message. (infomercial music) do you dream of becoming financially independent
but struggle every monthjust to pay your bills? would you like to owna home like this, but can barely affordto pay your rent? my name is jordan belfort, and there's no secretto wealth creation. no matter who you are, no matter whereyou came from, you too can becomefinancially independent in just a matter of months.
all you need is a strategy. when i was 24 years old, i made a decisionnot just to survive,but to thrive. woman: at first i didn't feel like deals like these were possible. but we have the houseand we have a $33,000 profit. i certainly believe now. think about itfor a second. if you don't have the gutsto attend jordan belfort's straight line persuasionsystem seminar,
then how do you expectto make any money? jordan: if you want to be a millionaire someday, have some guts. make a decision. jordan belfort'ssetup worked for me because i workedhard for it. and if it doesn'twork for you, it's because you're lazy. and you should geta job at mcdonald's. jordan: there's nobody holding you back from financial freedom.
and there's nobodystopping you frommaking millions. don't just sit at home, or the life of your dreamswill sail right past you. i changed allthese people's lives and i can change yours, too! so come to my seminar! the life of yourdreams is only... good to seeyou again, jordan. you're under arrest!
you gotta be joking! you're kidding me. hey, get the fuckaway from me! turn that camera off. jordan: i'm fuckingshooting a fuckinginfomercial here, you fucking cocksucker! fuck you,you motherfucker! shut the fucking camera off. you don't gotshit on me,you hear me!
go fuck yourself! i'm making anhonest living, youfucking piece of shit! denham: hey, jordan, let me give youa little legal advice. jordan: oh, fuck you,you fucking prick! i'm making anhonest living,you motherfucker! jordan: i clean up my act. i did rehab. i'm a tv personality. i'm sober for two years. and this happens!
rugrat goes and gets busted down in miami. i'm swiss,i'm not communist. jordan: and guess who the fuck with? saurel. you gonna beat me? no, sir. yeah, i know your country.you're gonna beat me. jordan: i mean, what are the fucking odds? there had to be 10,000 swiss bankers in geneva, and rugrat gets the one dumb enough
to get himself arrested on u.s. soil. (sobbing)i'm so sorry. jordan: even more fucked was that he got busted (camera clicking) for shit that had nothing to do with me. it had nothing to fucking do with me. something about laundering drug money through offshore boat racing and a guy named rocky aoki,
you know, the founder of benihana. benihana. beni-fucking-hana! (yelling) beni-fucking-hana! why? why, why, god? why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants to take me down?
long story short. saurel rats me out. but not before he rats out brad's wife, chantalle, who, it turns out, he'd been fucking every time she went to switzerland! no, no, no, it's impossible. oui, oui, oui. ah! (giggling) judge: one count engaging in conspiracy to commit securities fraud.
two counts securities fraud. one countengaging in conspiracyto commit money laundering. twenty-one countsmoney laundering. one countobstruction of justice. bail is set at $10 million. donnie: uncle donnie's here! rocky. how you doing? woof. i hate thatfucking dog. yeah, he's gettingold and decrepit.
starting to shitin the house again. me, too. come here, buddy. ah, fuck. it's good tosee you, pal. yeah, you, too. good to see you. sit down. oh, man. how you doing, brother?
(sighing) you know. shitty, pal. but i'm hanging in there. my new piece of jewelry.check that out. can't leave the house,you know? starting to getcabin fever already. fucking rugrat. that wig-wearing faggot. i can't believethat fucking guy.i wanna kill him.
swear to god,i want to chokehim to death. irresponsiblelittle prick. (scoffs) i'll tell you one thing. i'm never eatingat benihana again. i don't carewhose birthday it is. where's naomi?how's she doing? that's her inthe house there. you could say hi,but she probablywon't wave back.
naomi, sweetheart! what's up her ass? is she mad at me? no, you know... we probably have tomortgage the house in order to make bail. probably end upselling the thing in order to payfor all the lawyers. it's been anightmare, buddy,to tell you the truth.
what are yougonna do, right? anyway, how's stratton?that's more important. how's morale? they all pissed off'cause they have tomake money legally now? hmm? i got the foundingpartners together. i talked to themabout everything. and i got you. what do you mean,you got me?
the house, money,don't worry about it.i got you. i love you, buddy. you know i'd do itfor you, right? you know that, right? i could fuckingkiss you all over. all right,enough, enough. you want a beer, pal? what are you drinking? i got thisnon-alcoholic shit.
a non-alcoholic beer.it's got no alcohol. it's a beer? yeah, with no alcohol. but if you drink enough, if you drink a lot,they get you fucked up? no, there's no alcohol.that's the fucking point. i'm not a scientist. i don't knowwhat the fuckyou're talking about. i can get youa beer if you wanta fucking beer.
i know, but i don't drink.you remember? i don't drink anymore. oh, you wannago inside and blow some linesof baking powder? or baking soda... can't imagineever not enjoyinggetting fucked up. i love it. how's being sober? fucking sucks.
boring, right? so boring.i wanna kill myself. there's a term,and we don't liketo use it unless circumstancesdictate, and i thinkthey do dictatein this case, and the termis "grenada." have you ever heardof grenada? no. no, i haven't. grenada's veryinteresting because
it is a smallisland nation that was invaded bythe united statesof america in 1983. it's about 90,000 people. and essentially, it means this case is unloseable. so, you know,we can come in, we can have our dickhanging out of our pants. nobody gives a fuck. i'm gonna win.
you, sir, are what's known as a grenada. jordan: hmm. you're looking atreal prison time. money launderingcan get you asmuch as 20 years. and our casecouldn't be strongerif we caught you shoving cashin your mattress. jordan: is that right?
denham: hey, jordan. jordan. your rotting awayin jail till your kidsget out of college, that's not ourambition here. there's other peopleinvolved in this, too. we think they needto see their dayin court as well. why do i sensethere's an offerin the air? look at him.he's got a sense.what are you, kreskin? full cooperation.he provides us witha comprehensive list of all the co-conspiratorsspanning the last seven years,
and he also agreesto wear a wire. (chuckling) wait... did you just say"wear a wire"? a wire. mmm-hmm. what does that mean? you want me to rat?is that it? no, i want youto cooperate. no. you want meto rat, right? yes. we want you to rat.
that's fucking exactlywhat we want youto do. to rat. jordan:how was cristy's party? naomi: fine. jordan: good. babe, i spoketo the lawyersagain today. i have some really,really great news. turns out you'recompletely offthe hook, honey. i know that already. right. exactly.
you never didanything wrong inthe first place, right? it turns out,all the fbi really wants from meis to, uh, to cooperate. turns out i haveso much information about the stock marketand wall street, i could savethe government years of heartache,not to mention countless dollars.
but it getseven better, babe. because if i dodecide to cooperate, i might only belooking at fourshort years, in which case, you know, we could start fresh,maybe sell the house. and any finesthat i'd have to pay wouldn't bedue till after iserve my term, so we'd still haveplenty of money leftover, you know? the only thing thatof course bummedme out a little bit
is this whole ideaof having to give informationabout my friends. like you said, "there'sno friends on wall street."right? right. right. exactly. there's a silver liningto that, too, honey. because they saideventually... eventually everyone'sgonna have to giveinformation on this case. so, at the endof the day, it might not evenbe a factor. you know? well, that's goodnews. right?
i'm really happy for you. what do you mean,happy for me,sweetheart? you should behappy for theboth of us. right? come here, baby. give me a kiss,sweetheart. jordan... oh, come on, baby. i haven't made love to youin so long. please. no. jordan, stop it.
come on, honey, please. no! jordan, stop it! i've loved yousince the momenti saw you. (murmuring) i fucking hate you, jordan. get off me! baby...don't do that. you know how muchi love you, right? stop that,sweetie. please.
you wanna fuckme, jordan? you wanna fuck me? go ahead. go ahead and fuck me. i want youto fuck me real hard. i want you to fuck me likeit's the last fucking time. why are youmoving like that? please hold still. 'cause i want youto come for me, baby.
come on, babe. come for me, baby. i want you to come for me like it's the lastfucking time. come on, baby.come for me.come for me, baby. come on, baby. yeah, baby, come. you want me to come for you? you want me tocome for you?
huh? you want meto come for you? oh, god, baby. yeah! oh, god.(grunting) oh, god. oh, god. (gasps) oh, baby. that was sofucking great! that was the last time. what do you mean, baby? i mean that wasthe last timewe ever have sex.
what are youtalking about? i want a divorce. what do you mean,you want a divorce? what's that supposed to mean,you want a divorce? get off me!i want a divorce. you just madelove to me. i don't love youanymore, jordan! oh, you don't love me? you don't love meanymore, huh?
well, isn't thatjust fuckingconvenient for you! now that i'm underfederal indictment, with an electronicbracelet aroundmy ankle, now you decide you don'tfucking love me anymore. no, no. what kind of personare you? tell me. you married me! what the fuck is thatsupposed to mean? jordan, this is howit's gonna go.
i'm gonna takecustody of the kids. if you agree tothe divorce right now, i will allowvisitation. okay? don't tryto fight it. it'll save us botha lot of money and i got a feelingyou're gonna need it. you're not takingmy kids, sweetheart.you hear me? i've already talkedto the lawyer. he said evenif you don'tget convicted,
i've got a good chanceof getting them. i got news for you. you're not fuckingtaking my children, you viciousfucking cunt, you! fuck you,you fucking bitch! you're not fucking takingmy goddamn fucking kids! you hear me?fuck you! you're not fuckingtaking my fucking kids! fucking bitch!
fucking whore! (muttering indistinctly) fucking bitch!piece of shitfucking whore! (chuckles)look at yourself,jordan. you're sick! you're a sick man! fuck you! i told you,you're not takingmy fucking kids! you think i wouldlet my kids near you? look at yourself!
you know whatmy lawyer said? my lawyer saidthat you're going to prisonfor 20 years, jordan. twenty fucking years!you're never gonna seethe kids again! you don't thinki'm not gonna see my... no, i'm not fuckingletting you near my kids! you don't think i'mgonna see my fuckingkids again, huh? don't you fuckingtouch them! don't you fucking touch me! sweetheart?you're coming on a tripwith daddy, all right?
you're comingon a trip with daddy. naomi: don't you fuckingtouch her, jordan. i swear to god,i will fucking kill you! it's all right, baby. you and daddyare gonna go on a little triptogether, okay? a little trip together. naomi: violet! violet!
get the key!get the key! violet: i got it! naomi: jordan, you openthis fucking door right now!open the door! put your seat belt on. there you go.get your legs in. i'm taking her with me! i told you i'm takingher with me, you fucking bitch!
(garage door opening) you're not gonna stop me!you're not gonna stop me! we're goingon a little trip, honey. no! no! get the hell out of here! violet: leave that baby alone! violet! garage door!close it! skylar: mommy! open the fucking door!
mommy! violet: no! (brakes squeal) oh, lord!oh, my heavens... get the baby! naomi, get the baby! mommy. honey, it's okay. it's gonna be okay.
violet: oh, mr. jordanhas lost his mind. jordan: baby... naomi: it's all right, honey. she all right? is she all right? what's the matterwith you? lucas: paragraph 1. the defendant shall plead guilty to all counts of the indictment
currently pending against him in the united states district court for the eastern district of new york. paragraph 2. denham: talk normally. lucas: the defendant shall participate in undercover activities... denham: breathe normally. ...including wearing a recording device,
also known as a wire... after five minutes,you'll forget youeven have it on. ...in conjunction with the investigation... fucking brutal. quit your bitching. paragraph 4.the defendantmust not commit, or attempt to commit,any further crimes. please. let me just signthe fucking thing already. just here?
that'd be good. jordan: it wasn't even a choice. for the next six hours, i came up with a list. friends, enemies, business associates. anybody who'd ever known me or taken so much as a stock tip. all: (chanting)wolfie! wolfie! wolfie! the first name on the list was donnie. (howling)
jordan, do you knowhow good it is to have you backin this office? it's not the samewhen you're gone. it's sad, you understand?it's like... that fuckingsteve madden, huh? swear to god,i can't eventhink about it. every time ithink about him,my blood boils. i can't evensay his name. it's, like, disgusting.
i grew up withthis guy and hebetrays me like that. he ever get backto you about that, um... about that account? you remember. it was like 4 or 5 mil,something like that, right? he was supposedto kick back4 or 5 mil, was it? actually, i was... i was fucked up, jordan, so i don'treally remember.
yeah, right. stupid. well, if he calls you, you make sureand contact me, okay? yeah. (stammering)of course. of course, yeah.no, of course. you gonna eatthat last pieceof yellowtail, bud? no, it's all yours. can i get this? so, what else is...
well, how's naomiand everything? you know how it is. she hates my fucking guts. how's hildy? good? she's still alive, so my life is fucked,you know? (knock at door) mr. jordan. mmm?
mr. jordan,you got a visitor. you've got a visitor. (sighing deeply) i need you toget dressed. why? what thefuck's going on? you're going to jail. i'll get some clothes on. we'll give youa hand with that. (door banging open)
fbi! everybody sit down.put your hands where they can be seen,and shut up! don't you fuckingtouch me. get your fuckinghands off me! don't get out of your seats! it's fucking chanel! (all clamoring) jordan: i gave up everyone.
and in return, i got three years in some hellhole in nevada i'd never even heard of. like my pops, mad max, had said, "the chickens had come home to roost." whatever the fuck that means. lawyer: i hope your honor would agree that mr. belforthas distinguished himself in terms of hiscooperation. mr. belfort hashelped the governmentwin convictions
of over two dozenserious offenders and helped themrecover millionsof dollars to be made availablefor restitution totheir victims. the sentence ofthe court shall be 36 months infederal prison. please remandthe defendant. lawyer: i'm sorry. (handcuffs locking) that's okay.
jordan: i'm not ashamed to admit it. when we arrived at the prison, i was absolutely terrified. guard: belfort,on your feet. jordan: but i needn't have been. you see, for a brief fleeting moment, i'd forgotten i was rich. and i lived in a place where everything was for sale. wouldn't you like to learn how to sell it?
mc: so listen. i've met some bad motherfuckers in my life. i'm talking about rock stars, professional athletes, gangsters. i'm telling you, some real bad motherfuckers. but this guy, my good friend, mr. jordan belfort, is the single baddest motherfuckeri have ever met. so i want you right now to give a warm auckland,new zealand welcome
for my good friend and the world'sgreatest sales trainer, mr. jordan belfort! (applause) (audience cheering) sell me this pen. it's, uh...(stammering) it's an amazing pen. for professionals,it's a...
well, it's a nice pen. you can use the pen to write downthoughts from yourlife so you can... sell me this pen. this pen worksand i personallylove this pen... (melancholy jazz music)