About : standard furniture hours
Title : standard furniture hours
standard furniture hours
luke, luke,have you seen drew? he's been gonefor three days. i tried calling him,texting, e-mailing. damn. you thoughtto do all that? you didn't?you're his assistant. it's like youdon't even care about him. why? do you? what? no! [laughing]no, no, no, i don't.
eh, no, no, i do. yeah, you know,the normal amount of caring that one coworker feelsfor another cowork-- no, we are not coworkers.he's my boss, and i am under him. professionally,not sexually. if it makes youfeel any better, he's probablynot in any pain. his mentor called hima pathetic abomination.
he probablyalready slit his wrists. hey, we got three kindsof bacon today. oh, god. maisy, shoulders back. don't hunch over your foodlike a troll. and smilewhen you eat. camerascan be anywhere. anywhere. wow, luke.
you look good. what's your secret? genetics. [laughs]handsome and funny. you want meto grab that for you? no. no, i got it. bye. schmuck. hello, hello.where the hell is drew?
not sure, and i can't domuch without his vision. i mean, i guessi could do more if you give methe go-ahead. why don't you go aheadand find drew? [sighs] oh, hello, hello,adeline. hey. looking good. you losing weight?
uh, i actually--i don't think so. yeah, me, neither. [music playing] ♪ whoa, oh oh oh, oh oh ♪ ♪ whoa oh ♪ ♪ whoa, oh oh, oh oh ♪ hey. so lighting departmentwants to know if we're still just doingthe one spotlight. are you asking becauseyou want to do more,
or because you wantto know if you can playpoker on show night? am i that transparent? i don't know. i haven't seen drewfor days, all right? apparentlya little criticism was too muchfor our delicate flower. morning. oh! hey, drew!
oh, everyone hasbeen worried sickabout you. you okay? i'm...okay. okay, i'll admitthat having my vision eviscerated by my mentorwas a little disconcerting, but i still believe thatif i stick to my gunsand stay the course, i can prove to jonahand the rest of the world that my plans for "sing it!" will sparka musical renaissance.
oh, okay. well, it is greatto have you back. i mean, if you'regrabbing some spicyshrimp tempura roll, i'm not gonna say no. yeah, marcy.drew just walked in. oh, i wonder if shewanted to talk to you. are you kidding me?so if i ask you to call in a drive-on for nina today,will that actually happen? wait. nina,your hot-ass girlfriend,
is out of quarantine? can't wait to see her. me, too.i need her so bad. just get her the drive-on. oh, come on! hey, what the hellwas that crap with sophieat the craft service table? she was just messingwith me, you idiot. happens all the time.classic.
pretty girlpretends to like a handicapped guyjust to win a bet. luke, i'm telling you,for some strange reason, that poor girl wantsto take a spin in your chair. okay? she wants to godowntown to pound town. make us proud. i'm counting on you. hello, hello. drew!
oh, my god.drew's here, everybody. what a pleasant surprise. hooray! i'm gonna leaveyou two alone. no. i want youto stay. drew, when i pay you to produce a show, i expect youto show up. marcy, it may seemlike i haven't beenhere physically, but in my mind,i never left.
troy's apologywas a ratings bonanza handed to youon a silver platter. you dropped that silver platter. when my maid did that,i had her deported, and she was american. marcy, i hearwhat you're saying. do you? well, you betterturn that hearing into seeing, as in gettingmore eyeballs on the show, because guess what.no ratings,
no job for drewski. marcy: hey! open the doorfor me! don't look at me.just open the door. kali. kali, kali, kali. oh. what's going on? i just saw marcyrip drew a new one. between thatand his mentorturning on him,
he is hanging onby his fingertips. poor guy. "poor guy"? no, this is the plan. i'm gonnamufasa his ass. oh, i always cryat that part, when little simbabites his dad's ear,and then he go... survivalof the fittest, kali. survival of the effin' fittest.
wow. you're still here. you've neverstayed till the endof my thought before. wait a minute.well, how do we end this? and that feels right. god, i've been watchingtoo much "homeland." drew. nina. wow. luke actuallydid his job. weird greeting.
i am so happy to see you. ohh. i have missed you so much. so how are youholding up? so much betternow that you're here. i'm glad i'm here, too. i've been wantingto talk to youface to face. oh! whoops. sorry. you look familiar.
kali, this ismy girlfriend nina. oh. of course. i glareat your pictureevery day. [softly]bitch didn't die. excuse me? did you need something,kali? uh, yes. troy islooking for you. he said it wasa code blue.
now, i don'tknow if that'san emergency or if he's justmaking a joke becausehis last nameis blue. nina,i am so sorry. i have to go. wait. i just got here. we need to talk. i know. we will. um, actually, kali,
why don't youshow nina arounda little bit? oh, great. great. serious--listen-- [laughs] let's take that tour,shall we? drew! what the hellare we doing this week? are you gonna springa new song on us likeyou did last minute again? we havea problem here.we have to talk...
[overlapping chatter] we need to practice. not cool, man. settle down! settle down!settle down! now listen. having yousing the same song last week didn't really work,because none of you had an opportunityto really express yourself, so you'll be glad to hear that this week, you can singwhatever you want again.
you're a god.i love you. thank you. troy: you aresuch a stud. dance, dance,dance, troy. [imitates whip] ha ha. troy, you're so funny. [imitates whip] drew:hey, troy. don't you "hey" me. i calleda code blue over...
23 minutes ago. what kind ofresponse time is that? i'm sorry, troy.what do you need? oh, nothing.lucky for you this was only a testof the code blue system. had this beenan actual emergency, you'd be in a lotof damn trouble, mister. okay. good talk. oh, hey, drew...
yeah? which oneof these smilesdo you like best? one... two... or three? troy, they're exactlythe same. okay. i'll switch it up.four. that one. so this one?
thanks, buddy. that is the one. ♪ see, i've gotthese stars ♪ ♪ hanging roundinside me ♪ ♪ the big bang-bang,and it'll be a galaxy ♪ hey, sophie. can i come upand talk? i don't think there'sa ramp anywhere. um... hey.how did you just--
listen, i just wantto apologize for earlier. no, i get it.it was rude of me to assume thatyou needed help. no, it's not that. girls as pretty as youaren't usually so nice to me. look, luke,there's a lot of things that you don't knowabout me. when i was six, we werelate to catch a train, and my mom pulled meinto the subway car,
but i droppedmy blankie, and the doors closedon my hands. i passed out,and when i woke up, they told methat i lost my hands. okay, i seewhat's going on here. this is some sortof prank or dare that the control room guyput you up to. i'll tell himi fell for it. the two of you can havea nice laugh about it.
wait. what? no! i-i'm beingtotally serious. i'm opening upto you. well, if that storyis true, then why do youhave hands?! because there wasa donor, a 32-year-old mannamed steve witha heart of gold and a defectiveparachute. that's why i wearthese gloves,
because i havewhite man's hands. then prove it.show them to me. i don't-- yeah. that's what i thought. you-- what the hell? how the heckdoes he do that? over thereis the bullpen.
over there is the stage. over thereis the dressing room. back thereis another thing. but first stopon the v.i.p. tour is the most importantroom at "sing it!" right this way. wait. this isjust the pantr-- hey! this concludes the tour.
hey, let me out! [door rattling] what are you--this isn't-- gotta hand itto you, asshole. you actuallymade me believe i hada chance with sophie right up untilshe fed me the bullshitabout hand transplants. come on, brother.if you're gonnamake something up, make something upthat's real,all right, man? dude, hand transplantsare a real thing, idiot.
yeah, okay.what is this? revenge for what i doto your coffee? no, i'm serious. wait. what do you doto my coffee? nothing. okay. i'm gonnalet that one go. okay, look, i googleweird shit on the daily. that's, like,my thing, okay? sounds to me like somethingsomeone on adderalland coffee would do.
what's up? what'd you say? shut up, and let meprove it to you. hand transplantpictures. go. i know.gross, right? but it's alsokind of hot, because if she hassomeone else's handsand she's touching you, it's kind of likehaving a threesome.
you would doublethe number of your sexual partnersin one fell swoop. you're back in the game, bro. drew, i'm gonna do"party in the u.s.a.," that's so exciting. all right,that's gonna be great.that's perfect. and i'm going tosing "wake me up." holly willdefinitelynot fall asleep. excellent.
we've got a problem. sorry, guys.none of you can sing the songs you've beenpracticing this week. what? okay, hold on a second. what's going on? well,you weren't here, so nobodygot the songs toclearance in time. so what do we do?
i never thoughtit would come to this. has thatalways been there? we're inthe public domain now. oh, hell, no! [yelps] this is worsethan last week! eat a bowlof dicks, drew! everybody hates me. i'm surethat's not true.
[pounding] nina:let me out! oh, jesus. nina? what are youdoing in the closet? why don't you askthat oompa-loompayou had giving me the tour? she locked me in there. kali? why wouldshe do that? i-- it doesn't matter.
i'm breaking up with you. because you got lockedin a closet? no! look, i was hopingwe could talk about this, but you justkeep shutting me out. you haven't been making timefor me, drew, and you treat this joblike it's god's work. so i'm not allowedto love my new job? i wish that things wouldhave worked out differently, but i'm sorry.we're through.
nina!nina, nina, nina, nina. if your ebola scaredidn't tear us apart, why shouldmy big-time job keep us from havinga healthy relationship? maybe we'll find our wayback to each otherone day. i hope the showwas worth it. ouch. kali. kali, kali,kali, kali, kali. i didn'thave to mufasa drew.
nina came backfrom africa andmufasaed him for me. how did she geta herd of wildebeeststo destroy him? is it even legalto have wildebeests as pets? [snaps fingers]she broke up with him,kali. he is destroyed. this is my moment. wow. so he's, like,totally single now? not quite on pointwith the conversation, but, yes, he is crushed. the show is minefor the taking.
do you think they're,like, done done? or just done for nowuntil he meets someone short?i mean, "else." this time, i'm gladshe's not here. mmm. [gags, vomits] oh, my god.hey, are you okay? [coughing] good girl. good girl.you get all that out.
go all the wayto the bottom. i'm gonna leavesome laxativesin your trailer. [sobbing] drew? oh, hey, stace. hey. um... there, there. um, listen. not to be insensitive,
but you know the showstarts in 15 minutes,right? eh, i don't care. okay. i'm nothing. my mentor called mea pathetic abomination. a contestant told meto eat a bowl of dicks. and the woman that ithought i was gonna spendthe rest of my life with just left me. can you just tellthe network i died?
all right.if you're sure, then i'll gotell everybody. oh, stacey, i made youa cup of coffee. it might bea little cold because i made itbefore i collapsed. okay, now justavert your eyesand let me die. you needto be here now. okay, where's drew?
all right. who's drew? who goes on first? i'm dyslexic.does that matter? i'm asian.does that matter? people, don't panic! i don't do wellwith panic! it's 15 secondstill show. if we go on late,drew's toast.
i need all camerasup and running. we're doingstandard lighting,nothing fancy. kali, tell darrellhe's up first. all right. darrell,you're up first, cowboy. what are you doing? putting on drew's stupidpublic domain show. and we're livein 3, 2... [theme music playing] ♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ hey, yeah ♪ [cheering] we need more! yeah! that's whati'm talking about! thank you. america, rain, breadsticksat olive garden...
what do these things have incommon with this week'sshow? they're all free. that's right. it is publicdomain week here on... "sing it!" this week, our contestantswill be tackling a lot of '90s classics. and of course i'm referringto the 1890s. this is gonna be good. ♪ oh, my darlin',oh, my darlin' ♪
♪ oh, my darlin' clementine ♪ ♪ you were lostand gone forever ♪ ♪ oh, my darlin'clementine ♪ ♪ yee-hah! ♪ [singing hebrewto hip-hop backbeat] ♪ dai-dayenu ♪ ♪ ilu natan, natan lanu ♪ ♪ natan lanu et hatorah ♪ ♪ for purple mountains'majesty ♪
♪ above the fruited plain ♪ [voice cracks]♪ amer-- ♪ ♪ america ♪ ♪ shed his grace on thee ♪ ♪ lullaby and good night ♪ ♪ go to sleep, little baby ♪ ♪ close your eyes now,and rest ♪ ♪ may these hours be blessed ♪ ♪ i'm a yankee doodle dandy ♪
♪ a yankee doodle... ♪ of course he found props. i want audience reactions, like an old lady or a baby or someone's who'simpressed by sparklers. ♪ bornon the fourth... ♪ close enough. ♪ of july ♪ [humming"hey diddle diddle"]
seriously,how do you do that? look, i'm sorry. you googled it,didn't you? yes. well, now you know. wait. i don't have timeright now. i gotta go on. look, i don't knowif you noticed, but i'm disabled.
[scoffs] oh. i noticed. what i mean is... i don't have to worryabout tryingto hide this, because i can't. but because you can, you worryabout people's judgmentif they find out. you don't haveto hide with me. there isn'ta single part of you
that i won't thinkis beautiful. i mean,except maybe your hands. kidding. whew! good luck, girl. bye, hot wheels. [crowd cheering] i gotta go. troy: ladies and gentlemen, the last performanceof the night.
give it up for the girlyou know and glove... [laughter] sophie chu! ♪ hey diddle diddle ♪ ♪ the cat and the fiddle ♪ ♪ the cow jumpedover the moon ♪ [cow moos] ♪ the cow jumpsover the moon ♪ [moo]
♪ the little doglaughed to see such fun ♪ ♪ and the dishran away with the spoon ♪ sophie chu,ladies and gentlemen! hey, great job. good job. judges. i don't say thislightly, sophie, but your rap is crap. ooh!
troy: ooh. hey, hey. i agreewith barry. yeah, it wasjust weird. a-and youwere, like, lookingto the sidea lot. like, a lot a lot. like there wasa guy there and youwere tryingto eye rape him,
but he wasn'tat eye levelo-or something. okay, contestants, come on outfor a final judging. yeah! ♪ whoo ooh ooh,ooh ooh, ooh ooh ♪ adeline. your performancewas abysmal. i also agree that your performancewas pepto-bismol.
if you didn'thave immunity, you'd be going home. instead, it's the endof the journey for... sophie. [applause] so sorry, sophie. the journey endsfor you tonight, but thank you so much. love you, sophie!
ladies and gentlemen,good night, and we'll see younext week-- whoa, whoa, wait. i've been herethis whole time, and you neverlet me judge? first i gethumiliated on"america's got talent" and then on "sing it"? they don't evenlet me speak. why do i keep comingon these shows?
i ask myselfthe same question. and we'll see you nextweek. but remember,don't say it... [contestants chatter] sophie: thanks, guys. honestly, i did so good. i feel like thisis all my fault. i shouldn't havetalked to you rightbefore you went on. be quiet.
okay, but seriously,"hey diddle diddle"? oh, shut up. so you want to see 'em? then can icheck out your hands? oh, boy. oh, my god. you're married? oh. no. steve was.
[chuckles] hello. drewsie,drewsie, drew, i gotta hand itto you. public domain weekmay not breakthe ratings bank, but it wasthe cheapest episodewe've ever made, so brava. brava. crap. i'm latefor my date. it's my doctor.
he asked me out right after hegave me my aborsh. oh, you justnever know what the dayis gonna hold.am i right? good work! hey, stace. guess you won't beneeding one of these. i've never really, uh... gone off the railslike that before.
guess just with the pressureof the show and... god, nina. anyway, um... you really saved my ass. don't mention it. i mean, you really saved my ass, like i would notbe sitting here right now if you hadn't stepped up. that's it!
that's it! do you knowwhy i'm drinking wine that tastes likefurniture polish? huh? 'cause i don't even knowwho i am anymore. the staceythat i know neverwould have saved you. but she did.stacey saved me. why are youtalking about melike i'm not here? i don't know.i thought you started it. there you weresquirming on the floorlike a wounded slinky, and all i had to do wasstep on your throat.
and i didn't. which brings meback to "thank you." my plan to support you and--and let youhang yourselfworked brilliantly. i'm sorry. what now? oh, y-you don't think i actually supportedyour "manifesto"of changes, do you? i knew you'd fail, and you did,and then what did i do?
i picked you upby your pretentioustimberland bootstraps. okay, timberlands areactually very practical shoes, and i thought that wewere building trust. ah-ah! mm!don't say, "trust." don't say, "trust."[laughs] you took my job. why couldn't youjust keep making your preciousdocumentaries and stay outof my little cornerof the sandbox?
huh? crowd: potvin sucks!