About : standard furniture gatsby
Title : standard furniture gatsby
standard furniture gatsby
(chuckling) thorny. you call this a report card? what kind of marksis these? how you gonna go to collegewith marks like these? i don't want to go to college.i want to workin the shop with you. you want to workin the shop with me, huh? listen to me. i said it once,and i'll say it again. i don't care how richor successful a man is,
if he don't got an education,he's got nothing. i tried, pop. i can't do it. then try harder! you can do anything in lifeyou want to do. remember, you're a meloni. hi there. are you a large person? pleasantly plump? a little on the hefty side, perhaps? well, let's face it. are you fat? when you go jogging, do you leave potholes?
when you make love, do you have to give directions? at the zoo, do elephants throw you peanuts? do you look at a menu and say, "okay"? well, now you can eat all you want, because at thornton melon's tall and fat stores we've got you covered. that's right. fine woolen, and woolen-blend suits and sport coats in all the larger sizes. husky, stout, extra-stout and the new hindenburg line.
and for you ladies, we have caftans, muumuus, and our own exclusive a-frame in all colors and patterns. yes, we have miles and miles of fabric. so take it from me, thornton melon, if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people. thornton melon's tall and fat, 150 locations across america. lou, did you seethe new spot? yeah, i seen it. do i look fat in it?
you could losea couple of pounds. i got to get bigger actors. pocahontas, how are you? ophelia, holdsome of my calls. ophelia: yes, sir,mr. melon. good morning, everyone. all: morning. take it easy, will you?take it easy. and don't getany on the walls.
okay, folks. what's up? mr. melon,we have a serious offer on your commercial propertyin south florida, and, uh, we feelyou should sell. no. hold it for one more year,take the depreciation, then transfer titleto the california corporation. show it as a capital gain.we should do great. what else? uh, the toy divisionhas come upwith a new doll idea
to go along with ourchildren's clothing line. we call themmelon patch kids. now, the competitionexploits the notion that their dollsare orphans. the melon patch kidsare not orphans. they're abandoned. we think it's a winner. okay, go with it. (phone beeping)
but keepthe unit cost under $5. i mean, last year,we took a bath on thosechubby tubby tub toys. jason's on the phone. jason. okay, everybody,take a break. uh, excuse me, mr. melon,but we havea very long agenda. later. my son'son the phone. but, mr. melon... beat it, bub.
(all clamoring) jason, how are you? how you doing?how's the diving going? oh, it's great. yeah, well,we just finished up practice. oh, keep it up, keep it up.and the fraternity? i'll bet you're having funat the fraternity, huh? what do you think?yeah, it's great. it's great. oh, that's great. great. hey, you're not doingtoo much, are you?you studying?
well, right now,we're between semesters, so classes don't start upagain for another week. no classes? then come home. tonight, your mother and lare having a big party. it's our fifth anniversary. whoa, whoa, dad.dad, she's not my mother,she's your wife, and i don't get the feeling she wants me around. you know what i mean? okay, let's notstart that again. i'll tell you what.i'll come up there to see you.
no. bad. bad idea. (stammering) i gotthis big dive meet coming up.i got to practice. i wouldn't haveany time to see you. it's a rotten time. okay, i understand. look, dad, i promise i'll come down for a visitnext break i get, okay?all right? look, i got to go, okay? okay, jason.
take care of yourself.i love you. yeah, i love you, too.all right. bye-bye. melon, i told youto clean my locker. now, if it's too much for youwe're gonna have to getourselves a new towel boy. right. look,i'm sorry, chas. i'll get on itas soon as i can, okay? home, sweet home. i likedthe old house better. so did l.
i liked the old wifebetter, too. lay off vanessa.she gives great headache. lou, i can't believe it.married five years. seems like yesterday. and you knowwhat a lousy dayyesterday was. (sighing) please don't throwyour clotheson the breuer chair. (scoffing) how comeall our furniture has names? i have absolutelynothing to wear.
you got six closetsfull of nothing to wear. are you sayingi spend too much money? you, spendtoo much money? no. a lot of peoplego to switzerlandto get their watch fixed. you have no taste, thornton. you're right.i married you, didn't i? look, i don't havetime to argue. our friends will be hereany minute. you mean, your friends.
they are my friends,and i'd like to keep them. so, please,just behave yourself tonight. don't worry.if the roast beef is right,they'll be back. (soft jazz playing) (people chattering) jennifer, you look divine. and, peter, i thoughtyou were still in portofino. now, whyhaven't you called? she's a lovely gal.
jennifer: oh, yes, she is. ramon, you look fantastic. i thought you werestill in tijuana. excuse me, senor? nothing. it's all right. give me a beer. i'm sorry, senor. all we have is martinisand champagne. my own house,i can't get a beer.
mrs. melon gave usstrict orders. no cerveza. it's all right.i'll get it myself. (man and vanessaspeaking italian) (vanessa moaning) hey! adam and evil. uh, mr. melon. uh, we were just, uh, looking for some, uh,cocktail napkins. where? under her dress?
you're impossible. and you're easy. i love klimt, don't you? mr. melon, your wifewas just showing us her klimt. you too, huh?she's showing itto everybody. she's very proud of it. i'm proud of mine, too. i don't go waving it aroundat parties, though. it's an exceptional painting.
oh, the painting. oh, yeah. drink up.enjoy yourself, huh? i hate small food, you know? (laughing) woman: what's he doing? man: that's unbelievable! (people exclaiming) hey, buddy,come here, will you? put your handright over there, will you?
i learned this in europe. look out, coming through.hot stuff. look out, will you? thornton, i'd like you to meetmr. and mrs. stuyvesant. right, right. how do you do? thornton. how you doing? hi there, sir.how are you? fine, thank you.
never mind. i got my own here.it's all right. millicent, you look charming.i love your dress. don't you, thornton?it's such a lovely shadeof green. yeah. if that dresshad pockets, you'd looklike a pool table. you should trymy tall and fat stores.no offense. may i speak to youprivately, please? watch my sandwich,will you? i can't takeany more of this! you've insulted our friends,you've insulted me,
and you've goneout of your wayto ruin this party. party? are you kidding?it's a dog show out there. your friends, they come herefor free food, free booze, and to suck up to youfor donations. you have no class, thornton,and i am tired of it. i want a divorce. divorce. i knew we hadsomething in common. here, sign these. (scoffing)
oh! oh, i'm afraidit's not gonna bethat easy, honey. this is gonnacost you plenty! oh, yeah? vanessa, let's talk aboutclass a minute, all right? here's you and giorgioin the guest room.classy, isn't it? here's you and giorgioin the rumpus room. another classy one, huh? oh, this onei can't figure out.
there's you,there's giorgio... what's with the midgetover here? i want... hey, wait. i got more. what happened in there? what happened? i got rid of vanessa. i feel likei just got paroled. i'll tell youwhat bothers me. i let her comebetween me and jason.
lou, pack our bags. we're going up to that collegeto see my son! (back to school playing) ♪ it's your life and i'm not gonna live it ♪ a change is coming and it's overdue ♪ i'm gonna take you over the limit ♪ you know i'm only looking out for you ♪ i get lucky ♪ and i'll see you get lucky, too
boy, will jason be surprised. hey, look,there's greek letters. that must be the house. ♪ hold on, baby, i'm taking you back to school ♪ when logic fails don't lose your head ♪ you just turn to me instead ♪ hold on, baby, now here we go back to school ♪ here we go ♪ is that an omicronor a unicorn?
beats me.don't you know any greek? the only greek i know ownsa coffee shop on state street. jimmy pitsos, remember him? he had an ugly wife,four ugly kids,and good coffee. wait here.i'll try this one. hello, hello! anybody here? thornton:jason, where are you? (water running)
hey, i need some help here. hey, buddy,i'm talking to you.i need some help here. (screaming) take it easy, honey.i didn't see a thing. you're perfect. he's down there. jerk. perfectly understandable,mr. melon. it was an honest mistake.let's just call it a bad day.
yeah, but a great view.you're all right, officer. here, a little somethingfor the kids, okay? take that, it's okay, huh? i don't have any kids. no kids? well, here,get yourselfsome kids, will you? here, take it all, all right?and just remember, the best thing about kidsis making them. even if i do manage tograduate, ha ha,what do i do then? i mean,there's the private sector,
but look how badthe job market is today,you know? and there's valerie desmond. see you guys. look how tighther ass is today. oh, man. you thinkthere's any way she wouldever go out with me? mmm... no. oh, thanks. see, it's this whole stupidcapitalist system, you know? i mean, it's set upto heap rewards
on the advantagedand the aggressive, and just, like,to make sure that, like,two regular schmoes like you and menever get a date with girlslike valerie desmond. i hate the whole bourgeoismentality of this school. let me ask yousomething else, man. do you-- do you makethis bullshit upas you go along, or do youread this somewhere? no, i read this. this is a book.it's karl marx.
famous book. proletarian chicks in bondage. it's a condom house book.comes with a leather hood. oh, is that the onewith the pictures you had? yes, sir. can i borrow that? let's move on. well, no, it's,you know... right on. oh, yeah.well, you know. (screams)
dad, uh, what are youdoing here? i'm robbing your room,that's what i'm doing here. we drive 300 milesto see the kid,that's the greeting we get. come here, will you? how you doing there? great! (stammering) i'm sorry.i'm really glad to see you, but i wish i knewyou were coming. i'll bet you did, huh?i looked for youat that fraternity house.
they saidyou weren't a member. well, i--i can explain that. they also told meyou're not on the diving team. they said you werethe towel boy. well, i can explain that, too. okay, explain it. i lied. great.that explains it, huh? jason, you don't lie to me.you lie to girls.
who's this? oh, uh, i'm sorry. this is my roommate.that's derek lutz. this is the dad,and that's lou. is that your real hair? what do you think? i think you're tryingto get back at your parents,that's what i think. come on, show me the campus.i want to talk to you. oh, good.
thornton: boy,what a great-looking place. when i used to dreamabout going to college, this is the wayi always pictured it. wait a minute. when did youdream about going to college? when i used to fall asleepin high school. look, dad, i know how muchall this means to you, and i'm sorryi lied to you, okay? jason, you don't have tolie to me. no matter what you do,i'll love youjust the same.
will you love meno matter what? no matter what. i'm dropping out. you're dropping out? you just got here.you just started. dad, i know,but i'm not making it here. i don't fit in, you know?i got one friend. derek. he's got no friends. the girls don't like me,the fraternitiesdon't want me.
the diving coachwon't even talk to me. i mean, look at it this way,at least you're gettingan education. dad, last semesteri got nothing but cs. a, b, c.you're in the top three. what are you worrying about? i just think i'd bea lot better off, you know,getting a job or something. well,you never went to college.look how great you're doing. jason, i said it before,and i'll say it again. i don't care how richor successful a man is.
without an education,he's nothing. i mean, stay in school.study harder. you can be whateveryou want to be. you want to be a loser,be a loser. you want to be a winner,be a winner. jason, it's up to you.you can do it. remember, you're a melon! dad, that's easyfor you to say. you don't have todo any of it.
okay, then,i'll do it with you. what do you mean,you'll do it with me? i mean just what i said. i'm going to college.what do you think? what do i think?i think you're nuts. nuts, huh?who made the rules? come here.i'm going to college! i'm going to college! now, let meget this straight, mr. melon.
you wish to enterthis widely esteemed grand lakes university of oursas a freshman? that's right, dean martin. are you comfortable? oh, i'm fine, yeah. oh, the chair.oh, i'm sorry. this is an awkward momentfor me, mr. melon, since i realizeyou're a highlyrespected member of our business community.
thank you. you're welcome. our student body hereis handpicked by me from the creme de la cremeof students all acrossthis great land of ours. that's one of the thingsi like about this place. yes. the point is, though, since you haveno high school diploma and no transcriptsof any kind, no sat scores,
and you're30 to 40 years older thanour average freshman, how can this universityever see its way clear to accept you as a student? dean: as calvin coolidgeonce said, "the businessof america is business," and the businessof an educational institution such as oursis to create young minds that understand thatthe business of america is the kind of businessthat it actually is.
so, whatever it isthat i have said here today, the point isthat we are here to honor our most generous benefactor, (chuckling)and newest freshman, the manwho's made it possible for us to break groundhere today, mr. thornton melon. dean martin,great speech. great speech. there's nothing like good,clean business, huh?
and a little monkey business. oh, philip. i'm so gladyou could make it. mr. melon, i'd like for youto meet dr. philip barbay, who's the deanof our school of business. david, i just wantto get it on record that i am totallyagainst this. i don't thinkthat selling admission to an obviouslyunqualified student is very ethical or honorable.
dean: all right, phil, um, but i'd just like to sayin all fairnessto mr. melon here, it was a really big check. it's a simple matterof this man's presence undermining the effortsof our legitimate students, who are hereas a result of hard work. hard work? listen, sherlock, while youwere tucked away up here working on your ethics,i was out there
busting my humpin the real world. and the reason guys like yougot a place to teach is 'cause guys like medonate buildings. i wasn't speakingto you, mr. melon. i don't think dr. barbayunderstands the actual amountsthat are involved here. mr. melon, uh, will you takethe ceremonial shovel? and dig intothe symbolic dirt. i hereby dedicatethis building to myself.
(brass band playing) (students chattering) all right, now, dad,it's just likewe talked about. you sign up forwhatever interests you, okay? we gotta geton the astronomy line before it closes up. okay, right. see you later. girl 1: hi.
girl 2: hi. look at this. this is worsethan the track. you want me to movesome people for you? no, don't push anybody around.this is college. let me think for a minute. what are you gonna do? come on, i got an idea. did you get everythingyou want?
oh, i got the latin,and i got the sanskrit, but then they canceledmy ancient greek. just blew my wholedead languages motif. what are you looking at? oh. yeah. you okay? yeah. yeah, i'm fine. i'm just upsetbecause they closed botany.
those bastards! well, i'm not that upset. at least, i won't beif i get into astronomy. you want tocut into line with us? 'cause we're already waiting. yes. yeah, i would. yeah? great. all right. oh, this is, uh,this is derek.
hi. i'm valerie desmond. yeah, i know. i'm-- i'm jason melon. hi, valerie. god, you look great. thanks. are you takingastronomy, too? um... yeah.yeah, i guess so. i don't really want to.i'm a business major,you know?
mmm-hmm. but for some reasonthey want usto take a science. listen, you mind if i sneakinto line here with you? oh, um... well, actually, these guyswere nice enough to let me in, so it's reallyup to them, i guess. melon, buddy?what do you say?let me in, okay? i don't think so, osbourne. melon, about your friend here,straighten him out.
look, chas, there'sa lot of people waiting. it wouldn't really be fair,you know? it's... i'll tell you what. maybe if you got a notefrom each and every oneof these people saying that it was all right,then we'd reconsider, but until that day,take a hike, you elitistfraternity scumbag. i won't forget this, melon.i'll see you at the pool. bye, val. bye.
thank you. i'm dead. you're not gonnabelieve this. come on! you're kidding! i'm not kidding! let's go! did you hear that? girl: he's out there! boy: you're kidding? all: (chanting)bruce! bruce! bruce! bruce!
where is he? i don't know, kid. all i know is i'm supposedto pick him up here. when? now. come on, let's register. hey, you guys geteverything you need? oh, yeah, we got it. good.
hey, what's withthe used books? what's wrongwith used books? they've already been read. and they've already beenunderlined, too, get it? that's the problem. the last guywho underlined them,he could have been a maniac. hey, get these guyssome new books. get some new books,will you? i'll tell you what.charge it to me, too.okay, here, pick a card.
and i'll tell you,i'm taking four of thoseschool sweaters, a bunch of pennants,some of those beer mugs, a few of these fuzz ballsyou cheer with, and... hey, folks, it's on me!shakespeare for everyone,okay? (all cheering) you, too, honey.i'd like to tame your shrew. who is that? that is mr. thornton melon, the world'soldest living freshman,
and the walking epitomeof the declineof modern education. the stupid clod thinkshe can buy his wayout of the gutter. oh, i don't think so.i think he was justhaving fun. oh, really? well, i can't wait to get himin my class. we'll seehow much fun he is then. oh, philip. hey, mr. m! you're all set. we've been workingall night long.we got it all done.
oh, thanks, buzzy.i appreciate it. look, add a few hundredto the bill and throw you and the boysa little party, okay? thanks. you knowwhat you got, mr. m?you got class. it rubbed offfrom you, buzzy. say hello to soniafor me, huh? you got it. hey, i want to talk to youabout my schedule. we'll go over it later.
well, boys,what do you think? jason: whoo! you gota hot tub in there! well, how can you studyif you're not relaxed? when's our first class? uh, we got economicstomorrow at 11:00. 11:00? no good. i got a massage at 11:00.tell them to make it 2:00. no, dad, uh,you don't get it. they're not gonnareschedule the classesaround your massage.
all right, 11:00.but i'm gonna talkto that dean. i mean, these classescould be a real inconvenience. all right,settle down, people. we've got a lot to cover,and time is short. there are two kinds of peoplein business today, the quick and the dead. so, rather thanwaste your time this semester with a lotof useless theories, we're going to jumpright in with both feet,
and create a fictional companyfrom the ground up. we'll constructour physical plant, we'll set upan efficient administrativeand executive structure, then we'll manufactureour product and market it. i think you'll find itvery interestingand a lot of fun. so, let's start by lookingat construction costs of our new factory. uh, what's the product? that is immaterialfor the purposesof our discussion here,
but if it makes you happy,let's say we're makingtape recorders. tape recorders?are you kidding? the japs will kill uson the labor costs. okay, fine. then let's just saythey are widgets. what's a widget? it's a fictional product.it doesn't matter. doesn't matter.tell that to the bank. take it easy. take it easy.it's the first day, you know?
on the board, you will seea cost analysis for construction ofa 30,000 square-foot facility, which will encompassboth factory and office space and is fully servicedby all utilities, a railroad spur lineand a four-bay shipping dock. hold it, hold it. why build?you're better off leasing at a buck-and-a-quarter,a buck-and-a-halfa square foot. take your down paymentand put it into cds, or something elseyou can roll overevery couple of months.
thank you, mr. melon, but we'll be concentratingon finance a little laterin the term. for the time being,let's just concentrate on the construction figures,shall we? you'll seethe final bottom linerequires the factoring in of not just the materialand construction costs, but alsothe architects' fees and the costsof land servicing. oh, you left outa bunch of stuff.
oh, really? like what, for instance? well, first of all,you're gonna have togrease the local politicians for the sudden zoning problemsthat always come up. then there's the kickbacksto the carpenters. and if you plan on usingany cement in this building, i'm sure the teamsterswould like to havea little chat with you, and that'll cost you. oh, don't forgeta little somethingfor the building inspectors.
then there'sthe long-term costs,such as waste disposal. i don't knowif you're familiar withwho runs that business, but i assure youit's not the boy scouts. that will bequite enough, mr. melon. maybe bribes and kickbacksand mafia payoffs are how you do business, but they are not part ofthe legitimate business world, and they're certainlynot part of anythingi'm teaching in this class. do i make myself clear?
sorry. just tryingto help. that's all. now, notwithstandingmr. melon's input, the next question for usis where to build our factory. thornton:how about fantasyland? (all laughing) my first class.i did good, huh? i just think you bettercool it with dr. barbay. dr. barbay,he don't know dick. he really tells itlike it ain't.
yeah? well, you knowwhat he knows how to do?flunk you. flunk me? flunk him. great attitude.look, do you at least knowwhere your next class is? contemporary american history.professor terguson. terguson? what, you know him?is he good? well, he's really committed. in fact, i think he was.just--just keepyour head down, keep your mouth shut.you should be all right.
i'll see you in english. all right. welcome to contemporaryamerican history. i'm professor terguson. you know, a lot of peoplethink history is just facts, it's just informationabout the past, but not me. i mean, i hold historyvery sacred. sacred. the way the farmer looksat the earthand he holds it sacred. the way a christiantakes the bibleand he holds it sacred.
the way a lot of peoplehold their marriage sacred. that's how i feel about it.so why don't we dive right in, by interpretingone of the easiest events in the last 20 yearsof american history. now, can someone tell me why, in 1975, we pulledour troops out of vietnam? the failure of vietnamizationto win popular support caused an ongoing erosionof confidence in the various american,but illegal, saigon regimes.
is she right? 'cause i knowthat's the popular versionof what went on there, and a lot of peoplelike to believe that. i wish i could,but i was there. i wasn't here in a classroom,hoping i was right,thinking about it. i was up to my kneesin rice paddies (shouting)with guns that didn't work,going up against charlie, slugging it out with him,while pussies like you were back here partying,putting headbands on,
doing drugs, listening togoddamn beatle albums! hey, professor,take it easy, will you? i mean, these kids, they werein grade school at the time. and me... i'm not a fighter,i'm a lover. (chuckling)well... well, i didn't know you wantedto get involved with the discussion,mr. helper. but since you want to help,maybe you can help me, okay?
you remember that thingwe had about 30 years ago called that korean conflict? yeah. where we failedto achieve victory. how come we didn't crossthe 38th parallel, and pushthose rice-eaters backto the great wall of china (shouting) and take it apartbrick by brick, and nuke them back intothe fucking stone age forever? how come? tell me?why? say it! say it! all right, i'll say it.
'cause truman was too muchof a pussy wimp to let macarthur go in thereand blow out thosecommie bastards! good answer. good answer. i like the way you think. i'm gonna be watching you. good teacher.he really seems to care. about what, i have no idea. college is all right,i'll tell you that. hey, buddy, be my guest.here's a pen.
hey, boys,here's a couple of pens, in case you learnhow to write, okay? i know you. oh, yeah? here's a pen. you do thoseobnoxious commercials. you're tall and fat. yeah, well,you're short and ugly. give me the pen back,will you? hi, honey, here's a pen.
boys, how are you? (student whistles) "and gibraltar as a girlwhere i was a flowerof the mountain, "yes, when i putthe rose in my hair "like the andalusiangirls used. "or shall i wear red? yes. "and how he kissed meunder the moorish wall, "and i thought,'well, as well himas another.' "and then i asked himwith my eyesto ask again, yes.
"and then he asked me,'would i yes to say yes.' "my mountain flower. "and first i put my armsaround him, yes, "and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts "all perfumed, yes, "and his heart was going like mad, and yes, "l said, yes, i will, yes." yes! yes! thanks for the voteof confidence.
i think joyceis pretty hot, too. and now that i've gotyour attention, i'd like to run downthe reading listfor the semester. see what else turns you on. what a woman. dad, she is the teacher. i know. i like teachers. if you do something wrong,they make you do itover again. jason: don't you thinkmaybe you should just takesome notes?
yeah, yeah. i gave away all my pens. i'm sorry.i--i need this back. here's a calendar for you. oh, hiya. hiya. hello, mr. melon.you waiting for me? yes, i was. look, i knowi'm only a freshman, but what do you sayyou and i have dinner tonight? we could talk about joyce.she's my favorite writer.
well, you're notthe usual freshman,but i'm sorry, i can't. the thing is, i'm sortof going with someone. oh. where you going? that's a good question. actually,i'd like to join you,but i have class tonight. how about tomorrow night? i have class then, too. i'll tell you what, then. why don't youcall me some timewhen you have no class?
all right. maybe i will. hello, philip. what did he want? oh, what do all men want? he wants you to dress upas wonder woman, tie him upwith a golden lariat and force himto tell the truth? no, just dinner, philip. are you jealousof thornton melon?
certainly not. i've been doing a great dealof thinking lately. i've been thinkingabout us. and? and i think, we should start thinkingabout forming a... well, a... a merger? a merger.
exactly, exactly. a merger. a partnership.seriously, diane, we're both intelligent,well-educated adults. we should be together.incorporated, if you will. look at the balance sheet.we were made for one another. oh, philip, you darling. i don't want to be mergedor incorporated. i want to have funand be romanced and be loved. so let's not rushinto anything.
let's just startby having fun, okay? hey, how are you?what's happening, huh? hi! a lot of people are talkingabout your dad, man. thornton:hey, what's happening? hey, boys, how you doing? i wonder why. um... they have lockers.you--you could'vechanged here.
i don't changein front of guys. i mean, next thing you know,you're showeringwith the fellas. and the next thing you know you're pinned to a sophomorenamed chip. come on, let's go, huh? i'll see you later. thornton:that was pretty good. next time, hold the pikea little longer. wait a minute.i'll be right down.
not bad. all right,let's see one more. like i showed you. what's a guy your agedoing here with these kids? i'm looking for the fountainof middle age. what's your story? i'm setting the new recordfor the mostconsecutive losses by a diving coachin this conference. hey, remember,hold that pike longer.
that your kid? who coached himin high school? yours truly. so, where did you learnhow to dive? atlantic city. the steel pier.i was in the water show. i used to openfor the diving horse. you're kidding.hey, i'm from jersey. yeah, i practically spentmy entire life on that piergrowing up. you know, there was a guy,did the most amazing dive
called the triple lindy.hardest divei ever saw in my life. now who was that guy? you're kidding. i don't joke about dives. especially that one.it almost killed me. boy, you were something else. hey, can your kiddo that dive? no. nobody can.it's too dangerous. you know, he tried outfor the team last semester.
he--he didn't do that good. not that good, huh?watch this. jason,do the two-and-a-half! (girl whooping) my main melon. come on, man,there's a pep rallyfor the football team. let's go. we're there. whoa, wait. what is this? me and standish and reddingare doing the anti-pep rally. you know, we're pointing outthat a violentground-acquisition game
such as football is, in fact,a crypto-fascist metaphorfor nuclear war. it sounds likea lot of laughs, but i'm supposed to meetmy dad here and study. in fact, he's supposedto be here already. okay, well, you know,if you change your mind, pal, you know where i'll be. if i change my mind,i'll seek psychiatric help. excuse me? what is the oort system,and what does it tell us?
what? i'm sorry. astronomy, chapter two. oh, oort. oort. uh... oort was this scientist,and he figured out that the, uh,smeared-out density of mattercan be no greater than the solar massper cubic parsec. you look thrilled.it's not my theory. thanks, that helps a lot. listen, i wasjust wondering, um,
would you domy astronomy homework for the restof the semester? here you go. hi, mr. melon. oh, you cancall me thornton. say, how about joining meand my friend over there? your friend looksa little strange. who, lou? lou's an animal.why, in his family he's onlythe second generationthat's standing up straight.
what lovely girls. how would you like a lifeof luxury and deceit? come on, join usin a beer, okay? yeah, okay. come on. okay. girls, this is lou.lou, these are girls. one, two. wow! ♪ shake it up, baby
♪ twist and shout ♪ come on, come on, come on, baby ♪ come on, baby ♪ come and work it on out ♪ work it on out ♪ work it on out, honey oh, honey,come here, will you? i need two more glassesfor the girls, and also bringa pitcher of beerevery seven minutes
till somebody passes out. and then bring oneevery 10 minutes. all right? you got it. anyway... you know, i thoughtwe were just gonna goto the planetarium and lookat a lot of stars. i had no idea this wasgonna be astrophysics. it's not that hard.you'll get it. it's not hard for you,because you're smart. you're smart, too.
yeah, but you're, like,"smart" smart. do you studyat the libraryevery night? no. i was gonnameet my dad there, but he must bestudying at the dorm. ♪ shake it up, baby! ♪ come on and work it on out ♪ you know you twist it, little girl ♪ lower, baby, lower hey, guys, let me seesome id.
not that low, baby. ♪ come on and twist a little closer now ♪ to the left, baby, to the left ♪ and let me know you're mine ♪ oh, that's the spot, baby ♪ hold it, hold it! oh, you are there! ♪ shake it, baby ♪ shake it, shake it, baby ♪ come on and shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, baby
♪ we'll shake it, shake it, shake it ♪ shake it now ♪ shake it ♪ shake it ♪ okay, go ahead. hey, jason,what are you doing here? (stammering)what am i doing here? what are you doing? we were supposed to study,remember, at the library?
the library. i was supposedto be there, huh? i know. hey, what's going on? chas, check it out. hey, clark. interesting little rallyyou guys had tonight. yeah, right. they got paintall over my girlfriend. i'm gonna kill themlittle pinheads. yeah? well, you cameto the right place, because guess who's here?derek lutz.
hey, lutz! you know who i am? um, let me see. protrudingsupraorbital ridges, small cranium,uh, 1,300 cc brain. neanderthal man. you, i want youto call his mother. you tell her he's nevercoming home. whoa, hold it, hold it.you sure you evengot the right guy?
i mean, look how many peoplegot blue hairthese days, you know? shut up, meathead. thornton:hey, take it easy, will you? i mean, the war's over.get new parts for your head. yeah? want to makesomething of it? oh, no, no.i never get physical.i just get upset, and when i get upset,he gets physical. you got a problem? no, i haven't got a problem.
now you do. kill him! lou, where you been? i'm getting my ass kickedall over the place. (record scratching) boy, you look terrible. no, i'm all right. it's lou i'm worried about. he may losehis trigger finger.
oh, well. it servesyou guys right. why did you have to take onthe whole football team? they're not that tough. the football teamat my high school,they were tough. after they sackedthe quarterback,they went after his family. this morning we're goingto look at the great gatsbyby f. scott fitzgerald. mr. melon, how would youcharacterize the great gatsby? who, him? no, you.
me. well, the great gatsby,he was, uh... great. see me after class,mr. melon. (students exclaim) thornton: i mean, please,try to understand. i don't havethe background for this. i mean,the high school i went to, they asked a kid to provethe law of gravity. he threw the teacherout the window.
i know what i need.i need a tutor. hey, what do you say?come on. you got some spare time. all right, mr. melon.i have some spare timethis evening. why don't you comearound about 7:00? i'll give you my address. thanks. thanks. please be on time. i'll be on time.
what penmanship. thornton: "...everywherethe ceremony of innocenceis drowned "the best lackall conviction "while the worstare full of passionateintensity" there's a lotof other stuff here. yeats goes on and on...and here's the finish. "what rough beast,its hour come round at last "slouches towards bethlehemto be born?" what does thatmake you think of?
rough beast. my ex-wife. well, that'sone interpretation. not the right one,but it's a start. surely a man of your ageand experience must have read someof the things on my list. what about macbeth? i saw the movie. orson welles.great actor, big actor. he was a tall and fat customerfor years.
how about cat on a hot tin roof? i saw the movie. burl ives. great actor, extra stout.he was a customer, too. streetcar named desire. great movie. marlon brando. i tell you,he wasn't that big then, but he ballooned up nicely. i'd say pound for pound,our finest american actor. don't you ever read?
read? who has time?i see the movie.i'm in and out in two hours. oh, thornton, don't you see?the reason you wantto read these works is so you can experience themfor yourself, so you can share the thoughtsand feelings of the writer, without the interferenceof your actor and director and professor's point of viewgetting in the way, to truly share and understandthe common feelingsof all mankind, the feelings of being alive. that was beautiful.
i understandwhat you're saying, too. i'm glad.that makes me feel good. i got an idea.let's keep talkingover dinner. i'm supposed to meetsomeone for dinner. i--i could cancel, though,i guess. i mean,we are working, after all. i mean, you can't workon an empty stomach. you can't concentratewhen you're hungry. oh, i--i don't know.i really shouldn't.
i have so many things to do. oh, come on. i'll help you. i'll take out the garbage.i'll do the dishes. i'll do your nails.i'll do your hair. you have no ideawhat i want to do. i'll call him. i'll dial it! diane:i'll just get the light. i think i'm attractedto teachers.
i took out an english teacher.that didn't work out at all. i sent her a love letter.she corrected it. (diane chuckling) oh, great. company. those twoought to get a room. really. thornton: actually,i was married twice. my first wife, jason's mother,l really loved her. we had a good thing going,you know?
she passed awayabout 10 years ago. after that, l... i don't know,i screwed aroundfor a few years. then i really went nuts.i married vanessa. i was just lonely,i guess. i don't know. is that over now? oh, we were doomedfrom the start. i'm an earth sign,he's a water sign. together, we made mud. oh, i picked a beauty.and she played around, too.
when she said, "i do,"i should have said,"with who?" so, are you giving upon women? i don't know.i can't figure women out. today, they're independent.they only thinkabout themselves. during sex, vanessa,she used to scream outher own name. i think it's the menwho are different. ever sincethe women's movement, most of the men i meetgo out of their way to show youhow sensitive they are.
before they were too macho,and now they're too soft. you all want us to knowyou can cry. no, with women, i never cry.never. i beg. if we finishthis bottle of wineyou won't have to beg. diane! we were supposedto go to dinner. i just had dinner. i don't believe this. maybe it's a dream.good night, philip.
you do a good job. what do you chargefor big cars? i had a lot of fun,thornton. me, too. and thanks for the lesson.i learned a lot. you're welcome. i did, too. well, uh... well, i guessthis is good night. a very good night.
thornton: beautiful. oh, that's it.that's the spot.just keep doing that. oh, don't lose it. (exclaiming) oh, lou, you're great. oh, the leg is better.you got the cramp out. you're a wreck.you got to start working out. jason: and you knowwhat else? you have gotmidterms coming up.
you haven't studiedfive minutessince you got here. you're always so neat.you're just likeyour uncle vito. we were kids,his room was alwaysin order. his towelslined up neatly, combs, brushes, hair lotionsall in the right place. what did it mean?what is he today? he's an attendantin the men's room. hey, he's my idol. but i'm not gonna befolding towels anymore.
'cause i just made, ta-da,the diving team. the diving...that's great! i'm taking you out.we're gonna celebrate.we're having a party. oh, no, dad,that's-- that's really nice. but, you know,i'm in training now. we got a big meet coming upagainst northern. so... we'll have a partyafter the meet. dad, why don't you join meon a littlereality break, okay? just 'cause you're in lovewith dr. turner,
that does not mean you'regonna pass her course. now, you got a major papercoming up on kurt vonnegut. you haven't even readany of the books. i tried. (knocking on door) i don't understanda word of it. so, how you gonnawrite the paper then, huh? hi, i'm kurt vonnegut.i'm lookingfor thornton melon. (stuttering)
want to come in? dad? woman on tv: d-o-g. dog. dr. barazini: i don't want tohear one more word out of youor it's back to the tree. come in. excuse me. dr. barazini? i'm thornton melon. oh, yes, thornton melon.i know you. you delivered the paperon isomagnetic brain waves in montreal last year.
no, i sold you your pants. oh, of course.good to see you. what are you doing here? i'm supposed to report herefor my lab project. oh, good.i'm trying to teachthese here apes how to read and write. you ought to teach themhow to go to the bathroom. it's the first thingyou ought to do. oh, you'll getused to that.
now, all you have to dois put a new tape in the tape machineevery hourand observe the animals. i'll be back in a few hoursto check on you. all righty. you don't need this.i'll find youan organ grinder. hiya, marge? a few things. i need you and the gangto get down hereas fast as you can. and i have to talkto peterson,the accountant. i'm gonna need him, too.oh, thanks.
and, marge, i need... see if you can get somebodyat the rand corporation or the brookings instituteto come down herefor about a week. what? man on tv: and russell hits him with a powerful front body slam! (chattering on tv) no problem.they're taking a break,that's all. in 1971, the united statesaccumulated deficits greater than the supplyof gold the country held.
in that year, richard nixon took the united statesoff the gold standard. in doing so,he disrupted (stenotype clicking) the entire internationalmonetary system. what is that clicking noise? are you a studentin this class? (snickering) uh, no.
who are you? i'm marge sweetwater, mr. thornton melon'sprivate secretary. oh. i'm taking notesfor mr. melon. he told you to write downeverything i said? yes, he did. take this down. mr. melon, no matterwhat you do, no matterwhat stunts you pull,
no matter how hard you try, you will never,ever pass this course. make sure he gets that. i'll tell you what.it's for barbay.make it an a. where's the lab reporton psychology? here. it's too light.it feels like a c. bulk it up and adda few multicolored graphs. yo, dad.
jason, hold it,will you? listen, everybody.let's see asacross the board. i'll tell you what,a 10% bonusfor every grade over b. and an a+ gets youa free trip to hawaii. off-season. (telephone ringing) dad, what's going on here? i'm doing my homework. no, no, no, they're doingyour homework.
jason, a good executiveknows howto delegate authority. i took care of you, too. and what's this? your astronomy report. what's wrong with you? i want to write that paper.i'm gonna write that paper. see, that's whyi'm taking astronomy,is to learn something! you're never gonna learna goddamn thing if you got peopledoing your work for you!
oh, never mind. kids, they always do thingsthe hard way. announcer: ladies and gentlemen, the visiting team, the northern university wildcats! (cheering) and your grand lakes university hooters! hey, there's your boy. jason! while the teams are warming up, we'd like to remind you
that all proceeds from the refreshment stands go to your student government. hey, valerie. how you doing?glad you could come. uh, listen, my dad is havinga little party tonightover at the dorm and it should be pretty great.his parties usually are,you know? i'd love to come,except i have a date. oh. well, hey,bring him along. you know, it's okay.you just both come by. i'll really try.
good. i hopei'll see you there. it sounds like fun. i wish my dadwere more like yours. hey, chas. good luck, buddy.let's get them. yeah. thanks, melon.i'd wish you luck, too, but i guess a guy like youdoesn't need luck. what's that supposed to mean? well, with your old manbehind you,
l figured since he boughtyour way onto the team, he probably bought offthe judges, too. oh, there's thornton. i can't imagine whatyou can possibly seein that man. philip, would youexcuse me for a minute? yes, yes. oh, you look great. where you been?i called youa hundred times. i made four dateswith your answering machine.
oh, i'm sorry i missed you.things have been so hectic. i've beenreading midterm papersand grading exams. did you read mine yet? not yet,but i'm looking forward to it. oh. look,i'm throwing a little partyin our room tonight, and you'd better be there. i'm sorry. i have a datewith philip tonight. bring him along.we may run out of ice. announcer: first diver for grand lakes university,
chas osbourne. hey, coach. how are you?how you doing, huh? next diver for grand lakes, jason melon. melon. (people exclaim) (rock music blaring) what's going on?this is alwaysthe best party of the year. i don't know.some big event at the dorms. we're thinkingof going over.
to melon's? are you nuts? why don't we go? valerie, please.it'll be horrible. jason said it would be great.it might be fun. jason's a twerp.we could have wonif it weren't for him. haven't you ever messed up? no. ♪ i'm all dressed up with nowhere to go hey, baby!
♪ walking with a dead man over my shoulder oh, i lovethree girls at once. if i fall asleep,they have each otherto talk to. nice look.what are you going for? the heavy,disassociated artist thing or the"i'm going blind" thing? huh? oh, it's the deaf thing? oh. maybe thiswill cheer you up.
oh, do me! derek! get up, will you? you look like the poster boyfor birth control. jason, it's a party.what's your story? what's the matter?the swim meet? forget about it.it's history. jason, come on, will ya?snap into it! you're right, dad.it doesn't matter, dad! right, dad?come on, party, right?
hey, buddy! come on, everybody,make some noise!have some fun! philip: what's that noise? it's a party, philip.midterms, remember? they're justblowing off steam. you there. what's going on here? it's melon, man. he's throwingthe greatest partyof all time! the whole world is there.it's the best thing
that's ever happened to mein my whole life! oh, god. (retching) look at that!listen to that racket. this is disgraceful.i should phone security. (police siren wailing) good. apparently i'm notthe only one around here with a sense of decency. man: yeah. cool!
did you see...where are you going? intellectual curiosity,philip. sounds fun in there.come with me. oh, please! oh, philip! ♪ it's a dead man's party ♪ who could ask for more ♪ everybody's coming ♪ leave your body at the door
♪ leave your body and soul at the door ♪ don't run away ♪ it's only me (loud feedback) (glass shattering) ♪ it's only me, only me ♪ don't be afraid ♪ of what you can't see ♪ say when.
right after this drink. hey, what's a bathwithout bubbles? hey, bubbles,come over here, will you? well. hi there. what's your favorite subject? poetry. really? well, maybe you can help mestraighten out my longfellow.
excuse me.have you seen thornton melon? uh, i thinkhe's in there. thanks. excuse me. has anyone seenthornton melon? hey, that's what i callmarine biology. say hello to my nieces. hey, wait a minute! (crickets chirping) jason? there you are.
i was looking all overfor you. jason, are you okay?i'm sorry about the swim meet. shit. swim meet. jesus, you think i careabout the swim meet? i mean, it's-- it's justa stupid college game.it's just bullshit. why are you acting like this? i know you don't thinklike that. oh, you do? grow up, valerie.i mean, you thinkthis is real?
this isn't real.college is a dream world. this is something you doto pass the time till you go outin the real worldand start buying people. come on, let's go for a walkand talk this out, okay? there you are. can we go? i'm bored. oh, christ, osbourne,will you just get your assout of here? oh, what a surprise.another shit-faced melon. oh, what do i got to do,knock your teethdown your throat?
easy, melon,your father isn't hereto back you up this time. don't! are you okay? thornton: jason,i was looking for you! hey, come here.where you going? where am i going? i'm leaving school, dad.i mean, one of ushas got to go. you're havingsuch a great time.i'm getting out. why? i don't get it.
because you didn't winthe diving meet? no, not becausei didn't win! because i shouldn't evenhave been there. chas told meyou bribed the coach to put me on the team.real good. what? and you believed him. jason, i never liedto you in my life. i didn't bribe the coach. you were on the teambecause you deserve it.
you made it on your own. dad, you don't get it. everything i haveis because of you. and because of you,i get my astronomy homeworkdone for me by nasa. i just want the best for you.that's all i ever wanted. i did it all for you. i know, but you don't knowwhen to quit. look, i knowyou came up here to help me,and i really appreciate it, and it's really sweet,and it's really not working.
can't you let me just dosomething for myself? i just want to see you happy,that's all. well, take a good look! 'cause i was a lot happierwhen i was miserable. diane: i enjoyedreading that, susan. susan: thanks. it's a nice improvement.thank you. diane, why did youfail me? i didn't, thornton.you failed me.
what is it,because of last night? no. i can accept the fact that you're completelyregressed emotionally, but you're not goingto pass my course by turning insomeone else's work. what do you think,someone else wrote this? look, all i know isthat you didn't, and that's whatdisappoints me. i'll tell you something else.whoever did write it
doesn't know the first thingabout kurt vonnegut. and another thing, vonnegut.i'm going to stop paymenton the check. what's that? fuck me? hey, kurt, do you read lips?fuck you! next time i'll callrobert ludlum. (derek ululating) derek, have you seen jason? uh, i think he'son a three-statekilling spree. oh, here's some morepotentially bad news.
dean martin wants to see youin his office right away. dean martin. and she said, "let's do it.the room's already paid for." oh, golly.uh, i'm afraid we have a potentially unpleasantsituation on our hands here. phil, would you repeatto mr. melon the allegationsthat you've made to me? it's clear the work you'vehanded in is not your own. i'm accusing youof academic fraud.
fraud is such an ugly word consideringthe financial generosity that mr. melonhas shown towardsour fine university here. i think mr. melonshould be expelled. what are yougoing to do about it? well, thornton, i'm only going to ask youthis one time. is the workthat you turned in your own? i can't lie to you,dean martin.
yes, it is. i'm satisfied. phil? i'm outraged. well, gee whiz, phil.i just asked the man if the work was his,and he said yes. now what do youwant me to do,torture him? (both laughing) i suggest a comprehensiveoral examination
conducted by allof mr. melon's professors. oral examination? yes. if you've done the workyou say you have, there should be no problem,should there? lou: hey, jase. jason: hey, lou.how you doing? come here. i wantto tell you something. you were pretty hardon your father last night.
oh, i know, i know.but the guydoesn't understand. you know? yeah. i knowyour pop 30 years.he understands. he's a nice guy,and he's tough. like me. i'm nice,and i'm tough. i'll give you an ideawhat i mean. my two boys,i put one through college and the otheri put through a wall. your papa loves you, eh? he's looking out for you.look out for him.
okay. hey. what's going on? i'm leaving. i'm sorry, jason.this college thingwas a big mistake. so you're going togive up? i can't win. they want meto take oral examsin all my subjects. if i don't take them,they're gonna kick me out.
and if i take them,who knowswhere they'll kick me. hey, dad, you remember what you told mewhen i told youi wanted to quit, huh? you told me that a manwithout an educationis nothing. i can't do it, jason. you can doanything you want to do. you can doanything you want in life. remember, you're a melon. don't quit.i'll help you.
(chattering on tape player) (indistinct reading) dean: before we begin, l would just like to thankeach and every professor here, for taking time out ofhis/her extremelybusy schedule. and a special thanks,of course,to mr. thornton melon, who i do not have toremind anyone is the donor of our newmelon school of business. we're wasting time.
sorry, phil. now, mr. melon,you'll have three hoursto complete the examination. if you fail any part of it,you will be expelled. mr. melon,do you understand? the council of trent. i missed the question. we haven't begun yet. well, dr. barbay,i suppose you're up first. i have only one questionfor mr. melon,
in 27 parts. i'd like to break himin 27 parts. no, nothing, nothing. discuss the foundationsof modern globalbusiness systems. part one,define and differentiate the three economicphilosophies of capitalism, socialismand communismas pertains to: a, management fundamentals,b, organizing and staffing, c, labor management,
and d, productionand operations. part two... are you gettingall this, mr. melon? yeah. it's a piece of cake. valerie: jason? valerie. i, uh... i wanted to apologizefor the other night, my behaviorand the things i said.
and to thank youfor your behaviorand the things you said. i'm really sorry. and i'm reallyin love with you, and i really have beenfor a very long time. and i can't believei'm saying this. i don't wantto embarrass you, or make you feel uncomfortablewith me, but, uh... i've been needing to tell youthis for a very long time. are you aware that that'sthe most you've ever saidto me at one time?
oh, except, of course,for the time that you wereravingly drunk. i love you, too. (weakly) in responseto roman numeral 27, section three, part two of subset d of the question, the answer is... mr. melon? hey. hey, hey, hey, relax. this man's been put undera lot of pressure here.
let's take it easy on him. (shouting) say it! say it! the answer is four? right. dean: dr. turner? hold it. that's it. i can't take it no more. i feel like i just gave birthto an accountant. diane: wait a minute,thornton.
thornton, do you rememberwhen we discussed the dylan thomas poem, do not go gentle into that good night? i don't know. no. maybe. thornton, think. philip, relax. it's my turn. diane: do you remember it? "do not go gentle into... "into that good night
"old age should burn and rageat--at close of day "rage, rage againstthe dying of the light "wild men who caughtand sang the sun in flight "and learn, too late,they grieved it on its way "do not go gentleinto that good night "grave men, near death,who see with blinding sight "blind eyes could blazelike meteors and be gay "and you, my father,there on the sad height "curse, bless, me nowwith your fierce tears,i pray
"rage, rage againstthe dying of the light" thornton, what does that poemmean to you? it means, i don't take shitfrom no one. i'm gonna pass this test.i'm staying in school. who's next? (people cheering) announcer: now diving for the atlantic eastern eagles, current conference champion, doug nelson. you knowwhat you almost never see?
somebody heckling a diver. (squeaking) (all exclaiming) you're all right, kid. thanks, lou. announcer: please refrain from making loud noises during the dives. next up, the atlantic eastern eagles' bill steincap. (whistling) that concludes atlantic eastern's 10-meter dives.
next up, the grand lakes hooters. we would like to remind you, tickets to all grand lakes sporting events are available through the student services office. what, are you interestedin valerie desmond? 'cause she's with me. coming into your own,are you, melon? well, i wouldn't break my armpatting myself on the backif i were you. because, get this, towel boy,
no matter what you think,you will always be a crude, obnoxious, nouveau richelittle phlebe, and you're gonna end upjust like your father. god, i hope so,'cause i happento love the guy. announcer: first up for grand lakes university, chas osbourne, former national high-school champion. jason dive yet? not yet. did you pass? i don't know.they're gonna let me know.
now diving for grand lakes university, jason melon. attaboy, jason! you did it! whoo! all right! i can't believe it.we could actually win this. melon's dive has put the hooters back in this meet. ow! what's the matter?
you're up next, chas. i have got a really bad cramp. i've been havingreally bad cramps all week. it's probably menstrual. screw you, melon! coach turnbull, you gotanother eligible diver? melon! melon! we need ya!get your suit on! go ahead.
oh, not a chance.with the shape i'm in you could donate my bodyto science fiction. get your suit on! we need ya! come on, pal.come on, show themwhat you got. come on. coach: melon! we need ya! announcer: now diving in substitution for grand lakes university, thornton melon. he's on my substitute roster,
but i--i--i don't have itright now. but, uh, what i'll do is, first chance i geti'll, uh, bring it to you. what dive is he gonna do? the triple lindy. all: (chanting)melon! melon! melon! announcer: there will be an additional springboard installed for melon's dive, the triple lindy. is that hard?
it's impossible. (wind blowing) melon! you did it!you did it! that was great! how do you figure, huh? oh, you were great!that was incredible! i guess there's nothingyou can't do. i've got the resultsof your exams right here. do i want to hear them?
you passed! all ds and an a. who gave me the a? i did. announcer: i would like to introduce our speaker today. this is the first time in the history of this fine institution that a freshman has given this address. mr. thornton melon. thank you very much. thank you. thank you, dean martin,
president sinclair, and members of the graduating class. i have only one thing to say to you today. it's a jungle out there. you got to look out for number one. but don't step in number two. and so, to all you graduates, as you go out into the world, my advice to you is, don't go! it's rough out there. move back with your parents. let them worry about it.
(respect playing) ♪ what you want ♪ baby, i got ♪ what you need ♪ do you know i got it? ♪ all i'm askin' ♪ is for a little respect when you come home ♪ just a little bit ♪ hey, baby
♪ when you get home ♪ mister ♪ i ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone ♪ ain't gonna do you wrong ♪ 'cause i don't wanna ♪ baby ♪ yeah ♪ i'm about to give you all of my money ♪ and all i'm askin' in return, honey
♪ is to give me my profits ♪ just a, just a, just a, just a ♪ yeah, baby ♪ ooh, your kisses ♪ sweeter than honey ♪ and guess what? ♪ so is my money ♪ all i want you to do for me ♪ is give it to me when you get home
♪ whip it to me ♪ respect just a little bit ♪ when you get home, now ♪ r-e-s-p-e-c-t ♪ find out what it means to me ♪ take care, tcb ♪ oh, a little respect ♪ whoa, babe, a little respect ♪ i get tired
♪ keep on tryin' ♪ you're runnin' out of foolin' ♪ and i ain't lyin' ♪ respect, when you come home ♪ or you might walk in ♪ and find out i'm gone ♪ ♪ i'll be there when you get it right ♪ that's the beauty of living the life ♪ here we go
♪ i wanna wear a big school letter ♪ i wanna write poetry ♪ why don't you take off that big blue sweater? ♪ come on and we'll make history ♪ hold on, baby, now here we go back to school ♪