About : furniture village television stands
Title : furniture village television stands
furniture village television stands
now? hi, hi. um, my name is sam,uh, and, uh, i'm single. [upbeat funky music] i'm looking for a lover, and it isn't importantif he's male or female. ♪ ♪ you know, hey, i'll take a shot for you,you know?
that's the kind of guy i am. i'll take a shot for you. i'm that kind of guy. i want to meet,like, a big, strong guy, to me, it's all aboutthis, all right? it's all about this,because, you know, in the end, i got to tell you,it does matter. well, i really like bikers.
you know,i don't look like i like bikers, but i really like bikers. i set, like, a lot of standardsi was looking for, like, you know,but i don't date much, so i've beendropping those off. so now, just someonewho's, uh, female. i like to cook. i like to boil, really. i grew up on a farm.
i can kill a chicken. yeah,so i'd like a biker... or a lawyer. that's cool too. (people)surprise! happy birthday. what is this? uh, this isa surprise party. just what i wasin the mood for.
thanks. [festive conversation] (woman) there's lots of cute guys here. (woman #2)who are all these peoplein my living room? potential dates. have you guys been speakingto my mother? look,there's tony. he's divorced. (woman #2) oh, lucky me.
go meet tony. happy, happy, sweetie. thanks, tony, tony. so jen tells me you'rein the market for a man? really?does she? (tony) well, stop your shopping, 'cause tony the tigeris here. [laughs] excuse me, tony.
jen, a word. okay. uh-huh, sure.okay. okay. okay. my mistake. tony the tigeris a perfect example of why i likebeing alone. i don't need to bewith a man to be happy, and i certainly don't needto be with a jungle cat.
he's jane's friend. (meredith brooks)♪ you can trust me now.we'll dig a little deeper. ♪ ♪ let's trade numbers,let's trade beepers, ♪ ♪ so i can find youanyplace. ♪ ♪ hey, why you lookingat your watch? ♪ ♪ we haven't had dessert. ♪ ♪ it's early, just 8:30,only our first date. ♪ ♪ i wanna know,do you love me yet? ♪ ♪ do you feel the same? ♪
♪ am i your everything? ♪ ♪ i wanna know, isn't true love great? ♪ ♪ come on tell me, when's your birthday? ♪ (man) i'll take one too. do you mind? (brooks) ♪ where you going? ♪ ♪ why you leaving? ♪ ♪ after all we've been through, can't you think of me? ♪ ♪ i'll think of you. ♪
♪ don't throw it all away. ♪ ♪ i'll quit my job. i'll have your children. ♪ ♪ you'll work hard. i'll spend your millions. ♪ ♪ hey, no pressure; you've got time. ♪ ♪ don't make me wait. ♪ ♪ i wanna know, do you believe in fate? ♪ [woman on machine] it's hil. you moved in? call me. [machine beeps]
[man on machine] jack, bob from perfect printers. if i'm gonna get your paper out, you've got to get it in and you've got to pay me. i'm doing you a favor as it is here, kid. (brooks) ♪ when's your birthday? ♪ ♪ and this isn't just an oxytocin high. ♪ bob. oh, of course not.mrs. bob.
yes, is bob there? jack harris. i didn't realizeit was so late, but i really needto talk to him. bob, yes. bob.no, i'm not drunk. it's not my party. i know it's late,i--i just got in. look, i need some slack.
yes, but i needmore slack, bob, lots of slack, an enormous amount of slack. okay? bob? okay, we'll talkat a more reasonable hour. yes. i've got some morephone calls to make. okay, bye-bye.
(brooks) ♪ come on, tell me. ♪ ♪ come on, tell me. ♪ ♪ i want to know, do you believe in...♪ [loud bang] it's 2:00 in the goddamnmorning! (brooks) ♪ do you feel the same? ♪ ♪ be my everything. ♪ [thumping noise] it's my goddamn birthday,you moron!
ronald hereis in the garment business. that's nice. ronald lives uptown. he has a great apartment. is ronald unableto speak for himself? (man) happy birthday. hey, i heard about the party.i had to come. baby, i wrote you a song. of course you did.
hey, could somebody turn offthe music, please? ♪ i'll quit my job.i'll have your children. ♪ ♪ hey, no pressure, you've got-- ♪ [music stops] oh, thank god. it's gonna be great. [rock guitar music] [off-key] ♪ it's my baby's birthday, ♪ ♪ my ex-baby's birthday. ♪
♪ oh, how i love her, ♪ ♪ and how i'm so sorry. ♪ what's he doing? i don't know. ♪ forgive me,birthday girl. ♪ what the... ♪ my ex-birthday girl. ♪ ♪ my blonde, ♪ ♪ oh-so fine, ♪
♪ birthday girl... ♪ ♪ friend. ♪ ♪ my ex-girl...♪ ♪ friend. ♪ [sighs] (jen)okay.that was so good. let's turn the musicback on. it was very sweet. i think it kind of rocks.
hey, i'm thinkingwe can put it on my cd. oh, i met this guywho knows someone who dated this guyat a major label. i really think it's gonna startto come together now, sam. i mean, i can feel it. oh, brian. oh, wait. [snapping fingers] ♪ i can feel it, yeah, ♪
♪ my future, my dreams,finally what they seem. ♪ ♪ they're so bright,like a star in the sky. ♪ ♪ they're so bright,like a star in the night. ♪ why don't you getsomething to eat. okay, food. cool. [lively conversation] i don't remember inviting you,music man. oh, come on, jen.give it a rest. [laughs]brian, don't touch me.
why don't you let samanthaget on with her life? look, jen,you're like my judge, my jury. you convicted mewithout a trial. [scoffs] [laughs]why don't you writea song about it? ♪ you're my judge.you're... ♪ don't look now.he's right behind you. hey. look, i never got a chanceto explain, you know?
we never hada chance at all. something happened,and then immediately, i'm to blame,no questions asked. i'm just out. sam, if forjust one moment you'd let me talk to you... i want to, brian. i really do. i just don't have the strength
to go throughall that pain again. thanks for the song. i really hopeyour career takes off. you deserve it. i just don't wantto be a part of it. [muffled music playing] [keys clacking] [muffled rock music] all cleaned up?
great party. [laughs]i'm sorry, sam. i just didn't want youto be alone tonight. i not alone.i have mr. duck. [toy squeaks] [exhales] happy 29th, samantha. hmm. "the dating arcade"?
this is made out for $500. what's the dating arcade? a dating service. a what? you know,they set you up on blind dates. have you lost your mind? who do you think i am? what do you think i am? apparently desperate,which is not the case at all.
i can still get a date, and i can still get laid. it has been a while, sam. ahh... "ahh." you hate everyonei set you up with, so now you can choose. you're too picky. i mean,who is your ideal man?
eric clapton,but chances are, he won't beat the dating arcade. really,what do you want in a man? what's any woman looking for? a guy who's smart,sensitive, assertive, ambitious, honest, handsome, sexy, funny,is kind to animals, looks good in a towel, calls me baby,but only when we're alone,
wears washed-out jeans,drives a truck. come on, sam. jen, i'm gonna end up goingto an all-you-can-eat joint with some"how you doin'?" from queens who drives a monte by day,carlo by night, and calls me "toots." lovely. give it a try. i hear they havea strict "no monte carlo" policy
ugh. sam, i want you to be happy. i want you to fall in love. i want you to have a husband, a life. i have a life. i don't want a husband. i don't need a husband,do i? give it a shot.you get three dates.
they workwith private counselors. wonderful.now i'm in date therapy? you've got nothing to lose. just my dignity. [whimpers] [horns honking] ugh! oversized mutant mongrelfrom hell. [loud banging]
that thing of yours pissedon my newspaper again. (samantha)that thing is a dog. dog, horse, livestock,whatever. keep it on a leash,and keep it away from my paper. you got it? new lock. oh, that's--that's real pleasant. [door slams shut] [keys clacking]
(man)hello, my nameis jonathan harris, and i'm interested in speaking to your companyabout advertising in a new paper called the tribeca times. hello? okay, well, it was nicetalking to you too. hey, hil. mwah! i can't stay.i got to meet a writer.
what? i'm worriedabout you, jack. everybody is worriedabout me. i am fine. i am not gonna starve. my newspaperis gonna be a success and so am i. i am not worriedabout you professionally. i'm worriedabout you socially.
two coffees, please. you're my brother. i want youto fall in love. there's this womani work with, mavis. i want you to meet her. she's great-looking, very handsome. handsome mavis. let me give youa little advice, hilary.
don't say "handsome"and describe a woman, a woman you want me to meet. say "hot."say "sexy." say "cute." when you say "handsome", visions of montgomery cliftdance through my head. montgomery clift? yeah. are you gay?
[mug clatters] it's okay. no, hilary, i am not gay. well, i, for one,am very depressed. what type of girls do you like? i thought i met her. i got married. i bought that housewith that very small lawn, and it hit her.
she said i wasn't her type. i think i found out that she wasn't my typeafter she left, so basically,i haven't met her yet. who haven't you met? my type,i haven't met her yet. maybe you need a little,you know. no, i don't know. you know, a little--
in my opinion,you need to get laid. enough. well, how long has it been? [laughs]i have not had sexin nine months. [nervous laughter] (man) i'll do him. thanks for the coffee, anyway.got to go. (woman)he's pretty cute. (jennifer) we just got this memo for the february board.
"alone on valentine's...again." kathleen thought youmight have some thoughts. i'm going outfor the rest of the afternoon. okay, buh-bye. (woman) gorgeous! your frienddid not say gorgeous. come in. the clothes i could do without. are you mute?
so... tell me about yourself. i'm 29. i'm the beauty editor at-- ping! not your dossier. yourself. what do you like to do? what do you like to eat? where are some
of your favorite places? who are some of your favorite authors? where would you like to live? oh, and most importantly,how many children do you want? children? i haven't had a datein some time. children are not up therein my priorities right now. oh, you'd be surprised how quicklythey come into play--
tick, tick, tick. [laughs] now, do you have any musts? yes, as a matter of fact,i do. he must be sweet. he must be cute. he must be smartbut not pretentious. he must be nice,and he must not cheat. must not cheat.
good, good, good.very reasonable requests. do you have a computer at home? uh-huh. great. we have a--what do they call it? a, uh, a chat pageor thing, a site, uh,this or that--whatever. you just make up a code name. oh, it's great fun.
we are gonna find you a man. i can hardly wait. here. you're done already. roger, you are the man. i can't tell you how everybody'sbeen leaning on me. i'm an editorwithout a paper whose journalistsare running scared just 'causei can't pay them.
imagine. i didn't write it. jack, i didn't write it. that's the research. i'm too old for this,buddy. i think your paper'sa fine idea, but not for me. i need to get paid. i need to knowyou have advertisers
and moneyfor the next issue. roger, this was supposedto be my lead article. sex sells. well, it hasn't sold yet, and i can't go schleppingaround to dating services hoping to meet mrs. righton my own dime. sorry, you're gonnahave to do it yourself. - you want a wife? i'll get you a wife.
we can make her tall. we can make her short. we can make her thin. me, i like a little flesh. you know, it's funny. you don't look jewish. it's all about herpes. (woman) you will meet a mate with, uh... your kind of problem,
and you will no longer feellike an outcast. [whispers]we've been there.we know. everyone here has herpes? oh, yeah, yeah. we don't take anyonewho doesn't. good plan. [sitar music] oh, this is very good. it is?
it seems that in oneof your past lives, you were a great warrior. i was? yes. you battled rebel forces,and you overcame an evil empire. and you got all of that out of mysocial security number? we like to fix people up who are comparablein their former lives.
there's this warrior princess, lives at 3rd and 65th. you two should be perfect. her name is shelly. a warrior princessnamed shelly. oh... you know,it seems to me that whenever i hearof past lives and all that, everyone wassomething heroic or royal. i mean, you never hearof anyone who was say, like,
a janitor in their past lives or worked in a deli. you know what i mean? [bell rings] next! he'll be right with you. please hold on a minute. hi. may i help you?
i'm hereto see george evans. he's right there. thank you. mr. evans. jonathan, so glad you could come. please sit down. as we discussed over the phone,i'm writing an article for the tribeca timeson the dating service. so you said.
i've never heardof the paper. oh, you will. so can you tell me a little bitabout the dating arcade? well, i think the best wayfor you to learn about what we do isto actually participate, john. may i call you john? uh, jack. you may call me jack. would you liketo fall in love, jack?
well, not with you, george. i mean, you dating peopleare a little kooky. [laughs]oh, no, no, no. all i'm saying isthat you should give us a try. you're an eligible man,good-looking, young, athletic. is this the decathlonor a dating service? well, if you're lucky,it could be both. three dates, jack. wine, women, and song,
the reasonwe're all here: mating. mating. oh, you bet,and lots of it. we also have an online service: www.wegotwhatyouwant.youllfindamate.com. well, thank you very much, but you're reallyscaring me now, so i'm gonna go. bye-bye.
[melancholy piano music] [man on television]hi, ladies. i'm louie. you know, they said getin front of the camera, tell them what you want. i'm looking for the kindof broad who's, you know, who's not ashamedto fart in front of me. see ya, louie. [speaking italian] [man speaking italian]
un grande "hunk." ciao, lorenzo. hi, i'm ted. this ismy first time at this, so i'm a little,um, mortified. [laughs]tell me about it, ted. i guess the reasoni'm going through this is because i can't possiblygo out on one more date with someone who appears normal,only to find out
that they'resome whacked-out psycho from the suburbs-- irrational sycophantin need of major therapy. go, ted, go. i just wantto meet someone wonderful. someone relaxed, secure, who likes to thinkfor themselves and can go a daywithout talking to their mother. i'm looking for a man to love.
amen to that, babe. [italian guitar music] i'm not up for this, man. you know, you don't lookso horny, man. hot?i don't look so hot. whatever you say. you know, between not gettingthe advertisers and bob the printerbreathing down my neck, this person who lives next doorto my new apartment,
the dog who pisses on my paper, and waiting on tables,i haven't slept in days. well, there is your angelto brighten up your giorno. oh, isn't she lovely? mm. (jack) so sweet-looking. you ever notice how you could see a personover and over and never get a chanceto speak to them?
not this again. you know,new york is like an island. maybe i'm mistaken,but new york, she is an island, no? (jack) there she goes. i'm gonna make a cappuccino. you want one? not in america. right.
[cell phone ringing] elise. right.well, um... i shall have your moneyfor you, say, in about five hours--cash. - i'm sorry. i don't mean to bother you whenyou are drinking cappucino and talkingon your cell phone, but you're a waiter,
so get off the phoneand talk to your customers, most of whom hate you. elise, i have to go now.bye. i'm sorry. i don't wantto interfere with your entrepreneurialwhatever, so if this jobis an inconvenience, just let me know. turning off the phone.
um, cappucino? [train rumbling] [humming] [water rushing] [screams] ♪ i woke up in lovethis morning. ♪ ♪ i woke up in lovethis morning.♪ ♪ went to think of youon my mind. ♪ [toilet flushing]
agh! [gasps] obviously,you heard me in the shower. you could have waiteduntil i was through. that would have beenthe nice thing to do. well, excuse me, miss neighborlycongeniality 1998. waiting for youto finish taking a shower, i'd be here all night.
you know, i've got things to do,places to go. right, i'm sure you're very much in demand. it's you. of course it's me. who else would it be? [both doors slam shut] oh, no. [bangs door]
[quirky music] barbara, let's go. but he has such a nice, firm ass. [answering machine beeps] [man on answering machine] jack, henry. i've got the 1,500 words. i'll fax it over, and i'll bring over a hard copy. i need to pick up a check for both articles. thanks. bye.
[man on answering machine] hey, joey from java junctions. i've looked over your proposal, and i like it. i'm gonna buy a full-page weekly ad. i especially liked the article about dating services; been through it myself. i can't wait to read it. bye-bye. (jack) okay. what do i do? do you knowwhat happened to me
this morningon the subway? an unusually tall man, wearing only a braand garter belt sashayed through my car, singing i will survive. i love that song. sam. jen. i'm gonna a coffee.
good to see you. you too. hey, did you getthe tape? yes, brian,i got the tape. i put it with the others. can i ask youa question? shoot. did you send tapesto all the girls you screwedwhen we were together?
ow. harsh, sam. come on.i want to make it up to you. make it up to me? how could you possiblymake it up to me? are you gonna standby my side for years as i try to make itas a musician? are you gonna go to my many gigsat disgusting dives all over the east village until1:00 in the morning
when you have to workthe next day, just for moral support, only to find out that you weregetting a little moral support of your own from the backupsingers, two at the same time? wow. you got a lot of anger there. but i'm cool with that,you know? sam, i would do anythingfor you. i was young.
it was last year. you're right.that's true. but i was younger. can't deny that. i was scared,you know? it was a mistake. i really got ittogether now. this new drummer-- it's exactly whati needed.
brian. you're sweetbut lost. if i wanted a baby,i'da had one. okay, let's have one, huh? don't say that.that's not fair. can't we just, you know,go somewhere right now? i can't go anywherewith you. i can barely be inthe same room with you
without wanting to-- you know,so i think it's best if you just standover here, and i stand over there,and we'll-- just don't standso close to each other. i love it whenyou get flustered. bad news, brian. stay away. for how long?
i love you, sam. don't say that. you have no ideahow much you hurt me. you made me angryand bitter and sad, and i'm only 29. i'm just getting over it, so please don't say that. fuck. this day'snot starting out well.
(woman) i understand. mm, thanks. maybe i should forgive him. maybe it was a mistake. samantha, listen to me. brian deceived younot once, not twice, but three different timeswith three different women. and those are justthe ones you know about. that's not a mistake.
that's an addiction. maybe he's changed? ah, my first date. (jack) gino, i need you to take this table for me. i can't.i'm in the weeds. i got a full-up station: all women, all drinking,all tipping. i think oneof them likes me.
momento. ah, laura. hi, guys. hey, good to see you. how's it goingwith the paper? doesn't look so goodfrom where i'm sitting. actually,it's going okay. so are you comingto aspen this year? chicks,chicks, chicks.
my secretary's bookingthe trip--same condo. thanks, hank,but i don't think that aspen's in the cardsthis year. no, not unless you'll be waiting tablesat the lodge. dougie, you're an asshole. (hank) jack, look. next year you'll own the place, slopes, chair lifts,all of it.
so what can i getyou guys? actually, we're waitingfor mr. pierce. pierce is having lunchwith you jokers? (man)we closed on the morris account. oh. well, um,i'll get you guys some water. jack. mr. pierce.
(pierce) you heard why we're celebrating? yes, i did. that was your baby, your deal. now it's dougie's. so what can i get you guys? this is a little awkward. no, it's not awkward,dougie. it's lunch.
so what will it be? ♪ ...you ♪ ♪ you are that ♪ augh! fucking cujo. [pounding] [snarling and barking] all right!all right! "hopeless."
[clears throat] "code name already in use"? "hopeless-1." you and me both. hmm. let's find out who this hopeless female is. "sending hopeless-1to hopeless. over and out." [light jazz music]
(samantha)oh, i've lived in new york all my life, but i guess i'd be readyfor a change if the right situationpresented itself. and what wouldthat right situation be? [sniffs] the right situation.hmm... the ability to do with my lifewhat i've always wanted. all you need is a little magic.
magic. [cymbal crash] [bell dings] i'm a magician. a magician, as in black capeand sequin-clad assistant? (woman) oh, my god. (man) oh, my god. i hate magicians. huh.
(man)oh, my god. where are you going? watch me pull a rabbitout of a hat. do another trick. (man)god, i hate magicians. (woman) i love magicians. do another trick. (all)whoa! [cheers and applause] (jack)"hopeless,you took my code name.
"it must be fate. "i can't believei have a code name. hopeless-1." [keyboard clacking] [funky music] (jack) uh, nope. cindy? (cindy)do you want a drink? i'm just finishing mine.
sure. black label on the rocks. you're just so--so pretty. so how do you know frank? who? frank. from the gallery. how do you know him? i don't know frank.
aren't you billy? no, and i'm reallybroken up about it. but you knew my name. i guarantee you that one ofthose women has the same one. bummer. tell me about it. oh, sorry. jonathan? dinner?
absolutely. oh, thank you. (man) right this way. watch your step. enjoy your dinner. so this is a little weird. definitely. so how did you pick me? polaroid.
really? cute. i can never decidewhat to have. i'm in the mood for pasta, but then, the fishlooks really great. there's so many choices. have you eaten here before? never. have you decided?
chicken. i'll have the steak. i like good steak. do you love good steak? vegetarian. i see. you're not very talkative,are you? shy. gotcha.
where do you live? chelsea. oh.do you like it? love. i live in tribeca. i like it too,but i miss the park. i used to liveon the upper west side. hate. hate?
you hatethe upper west side? why? jews. nazi. [seagulls squawking] [dog tinkling] good dog. (hilary)stop chewing. i can't understandwhat you're saying.
(jack) hilary, i didn't have dinner last night. i'm starved. you didn't even getto dinner? hilary, last night i went out with a syllabically challenged,uni-phrasing, verbalist wonder nazi from chelsea. is that all? actually, no. she wasa poultry-eating vegetarian
who hatedan entire race of people but couldn't fathombiting into a steak. go figure. i can't begin to tell you what's out there. out there? jack, you've been out therefor a minute and a half. well, let's just saythat the dating scene doesn't look too promising. i mean, if i didn't haveto write this article,
i'm sure i'd never date again. give it a chance, jack. chances are,there's a woman out there: a cynical yet sweet,twisted yet brilliant, cute yet not-so-hot-lookingin the morning, just like yourself. what's wrong with mein the morning? you should take alexisto the zoo one of these days. she's been very persistent.
where is my little darling? squash. alexis is playing squash? don't you thinkthat's a little violent for a three-year-old? mike is playing squash,genius. alexis and the nannyare watching. (samantha)"hopeless-1, "yes, it must be fate.
--hopeless." three dates and they say that you find the personof your dreams and you get marriedand that's it. [laughs]well. this is my third date, so you must be the one. i don't think they meanthat literally, do you? uh, yeah, actually, i do.
how do you feel aboutgiving up your career to raise a family? we haven't even finishedour appetizers, and you want meto quit my job? what are you talking about? you a little nuts, jay? i got to go. if you didn't wantto get married, why'd you come have lunchwith me?
married? i saw your videotape and thoughtyou were kind of cute. release me. look, i'm sorry. all i want is a commitment. maybe we can work it out. not in this life. hi, have a seat. i was just leaving.
i'm harry,jay's therapist. maybe we can all talk. look up, jay. feel good about yourself. jay, this is notadult behavior. harry, you must haveone hell of a practice. [speaking quietly] hey, mosh. ooh.
(jack) "dear hopeless, "a little background: "i live in manhattan. "i'm juston the north side of 30, "and i'm glad i met you. --hopeless-1." (samantha)"dear hopeless-1, "it's nice to have youto come home to. "i just hadthe worst date of my life.
"what is going on? "where areall the normal people? [mellow music] [jack singing] ♪ last night i turned out the lights ♪ ♪ and laid down and thought about you. ♪ what is going on? (jack) ♪ thought about the way that it could be. ♪ ♪ 2:00, wondering what i'm doing here ♪ ♪ alone without you, ♪
♪ so i closed my eyes and dream you here to me. ♪ (mad doll)♪ the angels cryas we step on their wings. ♪ ♪ they want to die, ♪ ♪ 'cause nobody can win. ♪ ♪ and lovers flycloser to the end. ♪ [thumping] [glass shatters] ♪ but mine is on the mend. ♪ that does it.
♪ mine is on the mend. ♪ [loud knock] ♪ mine is on the mend. ♪ could you pleaselower your music? i'm trying to concentrate. i'm not the one listeningto k-tel sounds of the '70s. well, it helps me concentrate. that must beawfully difficult for you. i'm working.
what are you doing in there,splitting the atom? as a matter of fact,i am writing an article. call me whenthe pulitzer arrives. come on, mossimo. and why is his name mossimo? why do you care? "i hate everyone, "especially people who livein close proximity to me. "people shouldn't be allowed
"to live this closeto each other. "there should be a little islandwhere all the annoying people "should liveright on top of each other. "do you hate everyone too? [humming rock music] did you take theseout of the dryer before they were dry? are these your clothesin the machine? did you take my clothes out to put yours in?
the dryer had stopped. but the clothes were wet. the dryer has stopped. but the clothesare wet, wet. wet? i get your point. do you? what are you doing? don't do that.
i said don't do that. that's a gift from my niece,worn only in emergencies. i bet. give me that. okay, fine. [door slams] [panting] huh, my secret admirer. (jack)"hopeless, you know what?
"we live on the islandof annoying people. "it's called manhattan. "and as much as i'd liketo leave it sometimes, "the island of annoying peopleis my home. "i love it, "and i can't imagineliving anywhere "where you can't orderchinese food "at 4:00 in the morning. "i would liketo move to new mexico
"and change my name to natasha,but i can't. "the island of annoying peopleis my home, "and not matter how smellyand gross it can get, "there is no placemore exciting. "i'm beginning to wantto meet you. (jack)"natasha, i want to meet you. --boris." (samantha)"boris, i'm glad you're excited. "i'm a little nervous.
"what if you're a psycho killer? "what if you're...yucky? --natasha." "yucky." (jack)"natasha, i assure you "i'm not yucky. "do you like scotch? "if you don't, that's fine, "but try very hardnot to order
"a colorful drinkon our first meeting. "it makes me very tense. [engine revving] [horn honks] it's just not me. i can't make idle conversation. (george) how are you ever gonna meet someone, jackie, if you can't have a conversation? i didn't say i couldn't havea conversation.
i said i couldn't havean idle conversation, george. look at this. look, look, look. elizabethfarnsworth von trapp? am i gonna haveto wear lederhosen, george? she's a very wealthyeuropean designer. it's a black-tie thing,and she'll pick you up. nice to meet you. nice to meet you too.
[nini camps' thoughts of you] ♪ i spend restless nightsheld by someone ♪ ♪ while they countthe loneliness away. ♪ [dialing] [line ringing] [brian on answering machine] this is brian. you know what to do. so leave a message, shooby-dooby-doo. [classical music]
my kind of party. i'll sign us in. would you get mea champagne, mac? uh, it's jack, with a "j". to tonight. to meeting you. to later. (stephen boyd)♪ chasing down a rainbow. ♪ i'd ask you to dance,but i don't think i can reach.
i requested a shorter man. i like it that way. let's go. ♪ let's order some champagne. ♪ ♪ tonightwe're shooting the moon. ♪ ♪ sky's the limit--that's what they say, ♪ ♪ and i'd go the limitwith you. ♪ so what elsedid you request? to be perfectly honest,my secretary picked you.
[laughs]get out of here. now, that's a good idea. why don't weget out of here? (camps)♪ we can mass communicate,give and take, ♪ ♪ fight about right or wrong,yeah. ♪ ♪ when morning comes,we still won't have a clue. ♪ ♪ we can try to make senseout of it. ♪ ♪ make all the pieces fit. ♪ [knock at door]
♪ maybe we're just talkingin vain. ♪ ♪ shut up and kiss me. ♪ hey, can i come in? can we talk, please? you can't come in. in is not the best ideafor you. come on, i'll be good. i know you'll be good.that's why you can't come in. you know, sam,
sometimes you reallyjust got tolet go, you know? sometimes you spendtoo much time calculating the outcome and not enough timeenjoying the moment. you know, and maybethat was the problem with us. maybe we spent too much timeworrying about the future. and now we're spendingway too much time talking about the past. can i come in?
i miss you. i can tell. (camps)♪ take it beforeit's too late. ♪ ♪ na, na, na, na. ♪ ♪ or just shut up. ♪ oooh, ooh. i always like to get businessout of the way first. what's this? well, the agencydidn't specify how much.
the agency? the escort service. [laughs]escort service? the dating arcade,right? no, wait. i'm not an escort. i am a date. call it whatyou want then. [stammering]
i am not... i can't... oh, god. [keys jingle] bye, babe.i love you. i'll call you tomorrow. [laughter] (jen)whoa. don't sweat it, okay?
old boyfriends are likemcdonald's french fries. you know they're badfor you, but every once in a whileyou just got to have one. you know whati realized, jen? there's no such thingas prince charming, and there areno white horses. [horse whinnies] whatever. but you know whatbeing alone feels like
when all your friendsare married or about to be? i don't mindbeing alone some of the time, but every night? it's like somewherebetween 25 and 30, everyone started playingmusical chairs. when the music stopped,everyone grabbed a husband. i must have beenin the bathroom. you know what i mean? i know what you mean.
i don't want to get married just for the sakeof being married. i don't want to compromise. do you think i'm compromising? of course not. besides, we're talkingabout me here. yeah, but back to me, do you think-- no, seriously.
'cause i will kick your ass. do you thinki'm compromising? i love him. so you got a date,ms. hopeless. his name's jonathan. oh, go.enjoy yourself. it was one eveningof your life. no biggie. no biggie?
george, she thoughti was a prostitute. no, no, no. she thoughtyou were an escort. well, at least you didn't. you didn't... i'll never tell. (both)what are you doing here? i'm herewriting an article. sure you are.
and where were you,if i may ask? i was just coming from this person: doctor... foot doctor. dr. foot doctor. well, nice seeing you. [elevator bell dings] wait, let's just see ifwe can get it started ourselves. started ourselves?are you mechanically inclined?
oh, great. you've donea wonderful job. excuse me. [alarm bell ringing] that's real soothing. yes, i'm stuck... i think they're awareof that. with a lunaticin between floors. can you help us?
great, we'll just suffocate. well? well, well nothing. it might take a while. get comfortable. ugh. i can't believe i'm stuckin an elevator with a woman. one of my all-timefavorite fantasies, i might add,
and it's with you. of all the luck. listen, buddy, i'd rather be lockedin a steam room with the village peoplethan be in here with you. oh, that's nice. would you liketo read cosmo, jack? you know my name. i read your mail.
thanks... samantha. "what do men really wantin bed?" oh, please. oh, come on, samantha.what do men really want in bed? let's see. men are only interestedin one thing. so let's seewhat that one thing is. ready?
no, not ready. "your man is tired.you want sex." what is this magazine? "do you:a, tell him you want sex and he has to give it to you?" well, there's an option. i am not taking this quiz. "b, offer to give him a massage, "or c, put on a business suitand high heels,
"strip and seduce himbefore he has time to close his mouth." oh, i votefor this one, definitely. next. wait a minute. nobody really does that shit. so what would you do? none of your business. oh, it most certainly is.
i am the one giving the quiz. okay, i'd tell himit's time for sex and he better deliver. i like your style. bye, samantha. uh, wait.your magazine. oh, keep it. later. [mellow guitar music]
we keepbumping into each other. must be fate. [reggae music] (man)♪ whoa-oh. ♪ ♪ oh-oooh. ♪ ♪ white jamaican sunny day. ♪ what can i get you? uh, a bud. glass?
uh, i better. i'm waitingfor a blind date. maybe i'll just drinkout of the bottle until she gets here. so what's her name? there are a couple womenin the bathroom. her name? he didn't tell me her name. oh, no.this can't be happening.
this is very odd. do you wantto sit down? i'm waitingfor someone. oh, me too. hi, i'll have a bud. are you early? i don't think so. i think i'll move onto scotch. not a lot of womendrink scotch.
yeah, well, colorful drinksmake me tense. oh, my god. what's your date's name,samantha? jonathan. why? you ever wonder, samantha, why john kennedywas called jack? i mean, you ever thinkto yourself, "hey, that's a little weird.
i mean, they both havethe same amount of letters." ♪ i know i've gotto make it right. ♪ call me jack. can i buy you a drink? uh-uh. you know what this is? this is just like the piã±a colada song. what? you hate me.
i what? all those thingsyou wrote to hopeless about your horrible neighbor:that was me. it wasn't you.i like you. i just didn't knowthat she was you. but she was me. i see that now. i mean,you didn't like me much either. could you blame me?
okay, let's start from the top. hi, i'm jack. (jack) a magician? yikes. well, look at it this way:at least he wasn't a mime. same thing. so why were you... my friends,a 29th birthday present. oh, that's sensitive.
they must thinkyou're a real winner. did you knowthat 10 out of 12 people hate mimesand are afraid of clowns? i did not know that. yeah, i'm like my own personalinformation superhighway. that's on the list. the list? the list of words and phrasesthat you can't say. expound, please?
"soup to nuts." "kafkaesque." "all-nighter." "pardon my french." "fit as a fiddle?" "don't even go there." "pet peeve." "hide nor hair?" "low-speed chase."
"booze cruise." "do the math?" "long story short." "wiseacre." "keep me posted." "on the back burner." "moma." "the bridgesof madison county." i got you, didn't i?
"non-fat icedchai tea latte." i rest my case. ah. so what's the storywith the music, jack? ah, my ex-wifegot the cds. i found the bestof the partridge family behind the armoire. if she had knownit was there, she would havetaken that too.
you probably wantto kiss me now. i was leading upto that, but you're so pushy. so tell me aboutyour newspaper. ah, i'm calling it the tribeca times: a neighborhood paper. you ever notice how you can livein a city your entire life and not know your neighbor? uh, yeah.
there you are. perfect example. anyway, what i wantthe focus to be on is human-interest stories. there will be regular articleson politics and culture, but i want it to beabout the people, the people that live here,their stories. you have prettylofty aspirations, jack. don't you?
you ask that question likeit's the easiest thing in the worldto make your dreams come true. oh, i never said that. there's nothing easy aboutmaking your dreams come true, but, samantha, anything worth doingis gonna be hard. but if you don't putyour cards out on the table, you're never gonna knowif you have the winning hand. [gentle guitar music]
mm, not so fast, cowboy. oh, right. why ruin a perfect daywith great sex? how about tomorrow night? i...i havesomething planned. already. you have somethingplanned already. well, i had it plannedfor another girl, but now thatyou're here, uh...
tomorrow night? bye. it's the dreamer factor. dreamer factor? yeah, like brian. he's gonna do this,and he's gonna do that and just stick by meanother year, and, well,you known the ending. bad attitude.
you like this guy, right? yes, i like him. he's like me,except he's a guy. he's taller. but i just can't get involved with someone whose headis above the clouds and who thinksthe world is their oyster, when they reality is,dreams rarely come true. can i just say one thing?
do you think i can stop you? this guy is not brian. you know, if it lookslike the real thing and it actslike the real thing, maybe it just isthe real thing. what about the dreamer factor? you know, it's notthe worst thing in the world to want something more. you should try it sometime.
uh, that would be mine. mm, but it's more, see? it's an example. [romantic guitar music] "the buck stops here." "numero uno." "foul-weather gear." [knock at door] (man)♪ i'll be with youall the time. ♪
let me take these. good eveningto you too. (samantha) mm, smells good. what did you make? rack of lamb. no, really,what did you make? champagne? yes, please. you're very good,jack.
to the dating arcade. [glasses clink] (man)♪ oh, baby, please ♪ ♪ don't let me down. ♪ (jack)so what's your dream? (samantha)um, i'm the editor in chiefof a magazine, and then someone offers mea book deal. (jack)can i ask you a question? if your fantasyis getting a book deal,
why be the editorof a magazine first? i was working my way up,being practical. this is your fantasy,remember? there's no roomfor practical. can i ask you a question? mmm-hmm, anything. what do menreally want in bed? i'm waiting for youto get up. do you have coffee?
okay, you're nota morning person. not a problem. so what do you wantto do today? i'd liketo brush my teeth. okay, then what? i guess you area morning person. not really,that's the thing. i mean,this is the first morning i've beena morning person ever.
jack, i have to go to work. you have to call in sick. okay, i'll call in sick. do you like art? whose art? (samantha)i love it. it's amazing. i thought you would. it's all done with chalk.
he works with chalksand pastels, and then he sprays it. they usually last a few months. come on. there's more? (samantha) oh, i've always wantedher hair. i would imagine ridinga clam shell-like skateboard isn't half bad either.
this is incredible. yeah? thank you, jack. you're very welcome. (samantha) don't even think about it. are these yours? yeah, they are. they're really good. those were takenabout five years ago.
where are your more recent ones? those are the most recent ones. i haven't had the time to devote to going out and shooting. in five years? i can't justtake off work. i have responsibilities. and it's not that easy, well, just to feelmotivated and creative.
(jack)well, you gotto make the time. you can't let your talentgo to waste. i mean,these are really wonderful. would you be interested in taking picturesfor the paper? it wouldn't bevery glamorous, but it might get youback into it. i'd love to. do you like wine?
come on, let's go pick outsomething together. what, did you knock overernest & julio? i have a littlewine obsession. clearly. uh, may i? sure, it won't bite. how romantic. this wine is called nozze d'oro "golden wedding."
a sicilian countmade this wine himself as a gift for his wife on their 50thwedding anniversary. that's them on the label. that's the most romantic storyi've ever heard. oh, don't, uh... i'm not sure. elaborate, please. that's a singlevineyard chianti,
a felsina cru rancia. say that again. felsina cru rancia. '90 was a killer yearin tuscany. why don't we try a solaiafrom that year? it's my last bottle. are you sure?i-- [laughs softly] i'm sure.
[faint traffic noise] now it is for sure. you don't look so warm. you know,everett's going to flame you. slowly, gino. you know,everett is going to flame you. pink slip?you are out of here. fire me? he's going to fire me?
well, a meeting of the minds. looks like you've beenfilled in, jack. oh, come on, everett. give me another chance. the least you could do is say it with conviction. you don't want another chance. you don't want to be a waiter. i don't wantto be a waiter. okay, i live to wait.
waiting is my life. in fact,i'm going to go wait now. everett, i'm sorry. oh, forget it. what are you sorry for? sorry for the fact that i chose thisas a profession? sorry for the fact that i eat, sleep, and do everything else here?
don't be sorry, jack. be happy.just do it somewhere else. [knocking] well, this is somethingyou don't see every day. weren't you going to work? no work. got fired. you look weird. fired? yeah, that's aboutthe size of it.
[bluesy guitar and piano chords] (samantha)so what are you going to do? i thought we'd stay hereand maybe rent a movie. no, i meanabout getting a job. ah...yeah. i think it's a waste of timeto get a job. you know, i'd have more timeto work on the paper and evenings freeto spend with you. there are plenty of restaurantsin this neighborhood.
what are you saying,that i should be a waiter? no, i'm sayingyou should be a waiter, but what about rent? what about your apartment? well, i have to let it go,i'll stay with you. there is no wayyou're living with me. i'm not going to bein this position again. i'm sorry, jack. what position is that?
the positionin which i'm the one with my feet on the ground taking care of someonewho is following their dreams as i compareand contrast lip gloss, because the reality of lifeis that you do have to pay rent and you do have to beresponsible. and i just don't have it in me to be responsiblefor two people. i am not asking youto be responsible for me, sam.
and you know that if i were-- it's not such a bad thingto take care of someone. that someone becomes a part of you, and instead of being two people,you're more like one. and if it doesn't work out, then at leastyou went through it. i did go through it, jack. i did too. and it didn't work out.
no, it didn't. i can't do this. i got to go home. bye, jack. [contemplative music] [camera shutter snaps] [knocking at door] coming. hi.
samantha feld? i'm from kleinfeld's. congratulations. oh, it's not mine. i'm the maid of honor. always a bridesmaid,never the bride. yeah, i know the lyric.thanks. the veil, too.everything, jen. it's all here.
it's a big mother. i got to take mossimo. i know. tell jane i'll meet here therein a half an hour. right. bye. [door opens and shuts] brian, i have to take the dog. this will just take a minute, and then we're going to havethe rest of our lives together.
samantha,i can't be without you. brian, i-- just let me finish, okay? i can't writewhen you're not around. i'm not myself without you. you bring out the best in me. you know,i'm lost without you. and wheni'm with other women, all i dois think about you.
thanks, i guess. look, what i'm trying to say is that i'm not mewithout you. [sighs]brian, listen to yourself. it's not about me at all. it's about you,me as how i affect you. i'm not sureyou thought this out. i have thought this out. [sighs]i want you to be my wife.
samantha,will you marry me? where did you get this ring?is this real? it was my grandmother's. but it's cool.she's dead now. as i said before,this is not the best time. i have to walk the dog. and i have to walk the dog, or he's going to peeon the neighbor's paper. (jack)samantha?
hey, can i help you? who are you? i'm samantha's fiancã©. samantha's what? fiancã©. hey, you want to see the ring? it's pretty nice, isn't it? it's--it's lovely. uh, where's samantha?
oh, she just went out with mossimo. hey, who are you? i--i'm her, uh... i was just lookingfor my paper. oh, i can'thelp you there. but you want some coffee?i just made it. uh, no, thanks. i'm going to go back to my home. okay.
don't feel so sad. it just never workedout before. you know,i got to tell you, no, she don't soundtoo promising now. but samantha's different. she's wonderful. she's-- getting married. you know,it's not a little thing
she's getting married,it's a big thing. it's a really big thing. i understandthat it's big. i just don't get it. wed had the greatestalmost three days ever. ah, you love her,you got to tell her you love her. how?how do i do that? if you don't know that,then gino can't help you.
maybe should go spendsome time in roma, you know? at your age, you should knowhow to tell a woman it's easy.look: i love you. she has ice cream;i love that. come on.let's go. [meditative music] [footsteps] will you help me?
[frustrated sigh] and you are? late. and we are looking for? sam forgot the stuff. you know, "something old,something new, something blue." you forgot "something borrowed." she's got it. is she reallygoing to marry him?
yeah, in an hour. in an hour?she can't. it's a little late. give me a second. i'm going to go get my keys.i'll be right back. (jack) wait! taxi! wait--hi. i need your bike.
here you go. there you go. okay, there you go. get out of the way. i'm coming! wait! [percussive rock music] stop! samantha!
no! [bike clatters] you can't marry him. i love you! who the hell are you? i don't know him. [gasps]jack? hello. oh, okay.
i--i am so sorry. i thoughtyou were getting married. well, there was this guywith a big ring and a wedding dress in your apartment, and he saidyou were engaged. and, well, here we all are. (jack)i am so sorry. please continue. i'm going to go now, okay?
okay. bye. go. go! you know, you arecompletely overdressed. how could you thinki was getting married? well, if it looks like it,if it smells like it, sometimes that's it. you know what, jack? i know it's not
an end-of-the-millenniumkind of thing for a woman to say, but i do want to get married. been there. great, just great. i'm sorry.what just happened? what just happened was, you hada knee-jerk reaction to a womanwanting to get married.
well, you know what? i do want it all, jack, a house, a lawn,sunday dinners, picking up the kidsfrom hockey practice, reading the paper aloudto each other. i may just change my name, and i'm not adverseto a picket fence. what do you think about that? well, let's startwith sunday dinners
and work graduallytowards picking up the kids from hockey practice. how about that? i wantto show you something. i'm so proud of you. what'd i tell you? dreams do come true. mine just did. want to go check outthat deserted warehouse?
mm, i thinki saw an elevator. let's go get stuck. where'd youget the bike? bike? that's a long story. [upbeat instrumental music] captioning by captionmaxwww.captionmax.com (woman)♪ last nighti turned out the lights, ♪ ♪ laid down,and thought about you. ♪
♪ i thought about the waythat it could be. ♪ ♪ 2:00, wonderingwhat i'm doing here ♪ ♪ alone without you, ♪ ♪ so i close my eyesand bring you here to me. ♪ ♪ went to sleepwith you on my mind. ♪ ♪ hello, boy. ♪ ♪ yes, it's 5:00. ♪ ♪ i know, but you just listen. ♪ ♪ there's something thati got to let you know. ♪
♪ this is you, ♪ ♪ this pillow thati'm hugging and i'm kissing. ♪ ♪ and one more thingbefore i let you go: ♪ ♪ do dreams come true? ♪ ♪ well, if they do,i have you... ♪ ♪ not just for a night, ♪ ♪ but formy whole life through. ♪ ♪ went to sleep with youon my mind. ♪