About : tv stands wood ebay
Title : tv stands wood ebay
tv stands wood ebay
[podcast opening theme music] ashley: hey guys! if you're watching this episode of the patch on youtube, i just wanted to give you a heads up that you can watch it live while we record if you're a rooster teeth first member. we stream every wednesday at 4pm central. and you'll also get the episode a day early on our website. so you can, uh, check out all the information
on the rooster teeth first membership right down below. you get a 30-day free trial. pretty sweet. we've got all kinds of cool stuff on there. there's shows, uhh some achievement hunters, they're a little bit scary but they're a lot of fun. so. try it out! [opening music] ashley: we're in a computer.michael: pew pew pew
mica: what a lovely song. ashley: welcome to-uh-matt: that can be the theme from now on. ashley: the patch. well, it's kinda the patch. it's also, like, 3/4 of an off topic today. mica: yeah you've been out numbered. ashley: brought to you by loot crate and me undies, who we will talk a little bit more about later on.michael: yeah. i'm ashley.
michael: i'm michael. mica: i'm mica matt: i'm matt. mica: oh! three 'm's.matt: yeah. ashley: aww.mica: aww ashley: now this week we mmmmmmmatt: now it's like your- michael: you got all three from the office.mica: that's true. ashley: uhh, yes, right before this we were talking about, uh, not video games.
we were talking about food problems. you *points to michael* had a red bull food problem. michael: yeah. i, uh,..... long story short, i was drinking red bull earlier, i put it down, i picked it back up and drank it, and it was not the one that i put down. (mica and matt laugh) michael: it was a couple of days old. if not longer. ashley: was there anything, like, chunky in it? like bugs?
michael: it wasn't, it wasn't sludge yet, no. but have you seen a red bull like a week or two afterwards? you pour it out, it's actual.... it's almost like a solid. it's like sludge.matt: yeah. mica: what happens?michael: i dunno. ashley: ummmichael: it's all the poison that's in there. ashley: well, you know, like, the water evaporates as you do. really, it's a, cooking thing.
red bull reduction becomes a nice caramel sauce. mica: nope. that is not red wine reduction. that's not balsamic reduction. that is toxic. that is - that will kill you. matt: mica, if you wanna see the stages go to lindsay's desk. there's like different red bull cans from, like,(mica and ashley laugh) weeks of time. mica: can we do a, an experiment in the
ah office? get some clear jugs. like some mason jars. then just pour them in. ashley: like one per week.mica: yup. mica: and just see what happens. ashley: yeeaaahhh. maybe that might not be the best idea. because once- what's worsematt: do you think we can get red bull to sponsor it? ashley: in those cases? is it worse if nothing changes? or is it worse if you just see its slow decay inmichael: oh, it changes.
michael: yeah, you'll see it. mica: michael's like, "i drank it." "it changes." michael: that- i know from cleaning out that office. there'll be 7 cans of red bull. and i take 'em all to the sink in sound check. and i pour 'em out one at a time. and some i pour out and nothing comes out. (all laughing)
michael: until, like, a couple of seconds and then you see it-ashley: like it's still heavy? michael: yeah.matt: yeah. michael: you see it drip out like honey.(ashley laughing) ashley: there's uh, burnie's got a really bad habit. he's like a dad, which is, he's a recycling machine.michael: he is a dad. mica and matt: yeah. michael: i mean.ashley: yeah. ashley: and he's learnt the skills well, which is
if you see food, you have to clean up the food probably by eating the food. mica: yeah, that's what happens. ashley: uh...so...our second vehicle is, like, this big ass truck that i drive. which is hilarious on a lot of levels. but, uh, we drive it every now and again. not a lot. and so stuff will get left in there for very long
periods of time. i was driving home - this was maybe like, a couple of weeks ago. and, uh, burnie was chatting to me and he picked up a bag of chips. and immediately started eating the bag of chips. mica: noooo.ashley: that bag of chips had been in the truck, in austin summer, for months.mica: noooo.
ashley: i shit you not. it was not even food anymore. matt: they're, they are like toasted chips. after that. ashley: they-mica: they're baked.ashley: yeah, that's a nice way of putting it. ashley: like, you know, it's.... they would go very well with the red bull reduction. mica: did he noticed something was off about them or did he just keep eating?(ashley laughing) ashley: immediately could. mica: okay.
ashley: but at some point,you're already committed, right? mica: ugh. because i can also imagine burnie, like, eating it, thinking about it, but then just still eating it. just in case. matt: "just in case"? what do you mean "just in case"? matt: like-mica: you don't want it to go to waste.matt: "i don't want to miss all this terrible food." (mica, ashley laugh) michael: "let me give it a second try." "maybe it would, just the first one was bad."
mica: yeah. mulligan. ashley: well, in honor of it being 3/4 of off topic, because everyone is out of the office, either sick or mysteriously apparently still in korea, as is the case with gus. mica: yeah, what? he's in korea?matt: okay ashley: yeah, i know. he just took off, he's in korea now. michael: dude. gus is in korea and i'm on every podcast. ashley: yeah!michael: a full week.
ashley: you can, like, do a shut out. all we need you to go is somehow get you to l.a. for dude soup. mica: yup. michael: when-what day is that? is that tomorrow? ashley: uhh.... they changed it. i think michael: i don't even know any of the days.ashley: i think it's, i think- michael: this conversation we have, cuz we were on the rt podcast on monday, and then afterwards you asked
if i wanted to do the patch this week. cuz everybody was out. and i was like, "oh yeah, i can do it." and then i slacked you yesterday morning, telling you i couldn't do it cuz we had to film and stuff got changed around had to film all day with gavin, and you were like, "okay, cool.that's great." "um, but the patch is on wednesday."
(mica, ashley, matt laugh) michael: "not tuesday." and i was like, "oh. fuck. okay, yeah, i can do it." ashley: yeah. everything works out. but, uh, i got you guys a present to make you feel a little bit more at home. can we bring it out?(mica gasps)matt: oh yeah? michael: what you got? mica: yeah?ashley: no? or should i bring it out? michael: oh, that-ashley: i'll bring it- i'll bring it out.
it's fine, hold on. matt: okay.michael: "can we bring it out?""no, you do it." (mica, matt laugh) mica: we got a present. michael: man, i wonder what's it gonna be.matt: i'm curious. michael: you think it's gonna be a desk for us to break? mica: my god. i still can't believe that happened. matt: how did he not expect it, is what got me. michael: i don't know, man.
you were there. matt: i know. i was there.michael: you saw the madness. matt: i- i just don't get how he couldn't be like, "oh yeah. that'll definitely break." mica: right.matt: the fucking desk was made out of paper anyway. mica: did you say he- you also drilled a hole in the middle? michael: no, i hit it with an axe. with that, with that assassin's creed tomahawk. that's in the office.matt: yeah.
mica: guys!michael: it was in an episode of ahwu. michael: ohhh! look at this!mica: what a nice gift! michael: wow!mica: alcohol?! michael: can we just leave it in the foreground the entire time? mica: (laughs) the entire time! michael: yeah. oh look at that! matt: yeah, there you go!mica: look at that. that is a gorgeous set up. michael: have the real stars up front. mica: but, like, on the reel, can we drink?
michael: i hope so, i already am.matt: no, she brought it out to show it to us but not let us have any thing. michael: you can add to my cup.mica: listen, i don't know what's going on. cuz i mean, i'll just take some whisky then put the coke that i have in it. michael: where's the bartender?matt: exactly what i was going tomichael: why's ashley doing it? ashley: (off mike) i am the bartender.matt: it's her gift. mica: i love this gift. can this gift happen constantly?michael: there's that- michael: you guys got that one on always open.
where's he hanging around? mica: oh. texas? ashley: yeah, he only comes in on tuesdays. mica: yeah, just for us. michael: that's a helluva work week.mica: oh. imma go get some whisky. ashley: by all means. by all means. michael: you did really just leave her there.matt: i'll go after you. (all laugh)
ashley: but it doesn't- doesn't it feel more comfortable now? michael: yeah, it feels authentic. ashley: uh... there's prob- there's a little bit of everything. i've decided at this point, the patch is mostly just stolen-michael: yeah, this is feeling like off topic. ashley: from other bits of sets. michael: it's like a hodgepodge.(all laugh) ashley: the chairs we stole frommatt: ah, just give me a whisky. ashley: on the spot,matt: if you're gonna do it ashley: i don't even know where this table is from.
these were originally on the rt podcast.michael: yup. ashley: and so were these. matt: i do remember those from the rt podcast. ashley: yeah. so. at this point, matt: like that xbox too. ashley: we needed to steal something from always open. ashley: so i think we're doing good. matt: cool. the tray.ashley: we're doing good. michael: and then from off topic, you just stole the cast.
michael: pretty much, just.matt: thank you. ashley: little bit of everything. mica: (off mike) oh my god you *intelligible* michael: i'm good. i'm already drinking. so, it's fine. i came prepared. mica: alright. it's still just there. michael: video games! right?ashley: uh, alright! 7 minutes in!mica: video games, yeah. ashley: video games. matt: we play them.
mica: we do. ashley: well, i mean, i wouldn't go that far. michael: i watched, uh, ryan and geoff play gears of war today. gears of war 4. ashley: yeah? what do you think of, uh, how it looks?michael: i'm excited. michael: i think it looks good. i'm looking forward to playing it. ashley: i've got it downloading in, um, the know's room but.... the downside to digital stuff is god damn. even if you've got good internet,
it can take so long. games are huge now.michael: yeah. michael: it's like 60 gigs almost. maybe 56.ashley: hooolllyyyyy matt: that-ashley: shit.michael: yeah. ashley: it's um...michael: it's a big game. ashley: been downloading for awhile and that has nothing on, uh, what infinite warfare, if you get that and the modern warfare 4 remaster, it comes up to 120 gb.
michael: holy shit!matt: are you shitting me?mica: who has room for that? michael: i mean like, uh....ashley: for real. michael: master chief was like a 100. but that's matt: yeah, those are around there.mica: but that's-michael: that was like- mica, michael: four games. mica: that's four games.michael: it kinda makes sense. michael: that's insanity. mica: so what i'm hearing is that i'm not gonna be able to play it until the next day.
cuz it's gonna be downloading. ashley: yeah, plan on downloading tonight. and then like playing it tomorrow. mica: my god.matt: that was like- matt: i started the download forgears at like, 6 yesterday. for my living room. i got 2 xboxes at home. and like... i could play it at around midnight. michael: mmhmm.matt: it takes for fucking ever. michael: yeah, my internet decided to shit out last night.
which is when i downloaded it. and same thing, i had a the primary xbox and and then a game station in my living room. on the wireless, on the games, it was downloading at 12mb. wired to my internet, which is, like, 300 down. was getting 3 mbs. matt: that's what i had.
like i had the same issue. michael: woke up this morning, 200 down. so that's nice.mica: there you go. michael: but, uh, yeah, so i'm playing it tonight. me and andy are gonna play it. matt: that's awesome.mica: i'm hoping that skyrim doesn't take 45 years when the remaster comes out. cuz i can only assume it's gonna be huge. ashley: it's gotta be.matt: i hope what we can do is we can
play skyrim on the 360, while the other one's downloading. mica: right.matt: and see if we can beat skyrim before it finishes downloading.(mica, ashley laugh) mica: and all the side quests too. michael: hopefully, skyrim - and gears admittedly had this as well. hopefully they're one of those games where when they say play now, you can actually play now. mica: right.michael: cuz like, 90% of the xbox one titles, just says 'play now', you know, you're 20% downloaded
you can play part of the game. you hit 'play game', you go to the main menu of the game, it's like, 'oh its not done yet'. so you just wait. 80%. matt: i had, forza has that too. except they actually let you play like a little bit of it. michael: yeah, gears had that as well.matt: but i still hit the wall ashley: wait hold on. mica: just cause had that. ashley: is there someone else at this office
who's also playing horizon? matt: i've played horizon. ashley: that makes me so happy. matt: andy's playing it too. michael: yeah, he's a real car shit head. mica: so you guys are like the three people who plays games.ashley: i don't even like racing games. michael: yeah.(matt, mica laugh) ashley: like car games are not my thing. and i cannot stop playing horizon. michael: 'forza'.mica: really?matt: yeah.
mica: i'm sorry. it is not called 'forza'. michael: 'forza'. [fort-za]mica: it's called forza. [four-za] matt: they do say it, they have a-ashley: no no no. ashley: it's not. we can fight about this again. it's italian. michael: yeah.mica: do you call it a 'por-shah' or a 'porsh'? [word: porsche] ashley: do you call it 'peet-za' or 'peeza'?[word: pizza] mica: damn it.matt: it depends. i say it 'pizzah'.mica: oh, ya got me there.
michael: i just, like, every time they announce it, it's like "fort-za!" ashley: yeah, the other day, i was calling out 'hor-rait-zen', on it.[word: horizon] (all laugh)matt: hor-rait-zen. mica: fort-za, hor-rait-zen. ashley: yeah, it's when, actually, i love the drivatars in it. when i see my, friends. even though i know that they're not real.
they're just pretend.michael: yeah. ashley: but they've got the names-mica: i'm sorry, i'm gonna need you to back up. mica: did you just say, "drivatar"? michael: yeah.ashley: oh yeah.matt: yeah. ashley: "drivatar"matt, michael: it's a thing. michael: you just appear in the game. i don't even know how it works. ashley: yeah, so it's like you, um, they generate an ai driver, kinda based on your
play style and your skills, you know, your skill level in general. and then it will upload to, you know, xbox live and then your friends can download it into their game. i guess like, even like non-friends as well. you'll appear on other people's worlds. michael: like followers. i think followers.matt: i know, like, a lot of people tweet that they downloaded me or whatever. michael: yeah, same thing.ashley: yeah. michael: they were racing me. i've never played the game before.
ashley: and so, it's cool cuz it populates the world.matt: you were the first one it game me. (to michael) matt: for some reason.ashley: with, like, other people. and they feel real. except here's the problem. is, like, whenever one of those drivatars fucks me over, i get mad at the person. ashley: i'm like, the ai tells me you would've pulled that shit. so we gotta problem. mica: so we potentially, maybe, have a made up problem, and i'm pissed at you for it.michael: yeah.
ashley: exactly!michael: even though may have never played this game before. ashley: yeah, that. matt: what i think, like- doesn't it save across all forza games? is that, like, from...mica: fort-za. matt: oh i'm sorry, fort-za.mica: now i'm doing it. michael: is that what it is? matt: i think so cuz like-michael: you mean like, that you've ever touched it? matt: yeah.ashley: i think so.
matt: that's what-michael: got you. matt: you're in it, because you played that horizon need for speed one michael: the need for speed one. easy thousand.matt: that was like free. yeah. matt: exactly.michael: or the- the- fast and furious, is that the one?matt: yeah, that's the one. mica: same movie. yeah.matt: same fucking thing. yeah. michael: i went with your stupidity there. matt: yeah, thank you, i appreciate it.mica: i'm touched. ashley: keeping in mind, that i think if that's the case, you end up as a shitty drivatar
cuz you're like level 1. matt: yeah, that's like. i hired michael cuz the game was like, hire this guy, cuz you have to, like, you played it. where you have to hire specific people and then you can choose to swap 'em out? michael was the first one i got offered. and then as soon as i could, i was like, yeah, fuck that. he's never gonna play this. i'd get rid of him.
michael: naw, i can get better, matt. just gimme a chance. matt: i dunno, you just said you don't know how to play it.michael: okay? don't trade me out immediately. michael: gimme a chance, alright?you leveled all your amiibos up to 50, you can't level me up? ashley: so i found out, every time you log in, too, it'll, um, the game will send you a message showing, telling you how you're doing in other people's games. mica: ohhh...matt: oh yeah.
ashley: like you've been hired, like you've been racing and all, in this many worlds and you've been hired on to this many teams. and every time one of me gets fired, i'm like "what the fuck did you do?" you fired me! what did you do to get fired from this team? mica: "god! thanks me!" matt: at a certain point, it's just like, "alright, i'm bad, i get it. stop sending me letters."
"i don't wanna see this shit anymore." mica: see, it's like, i love cars in real life. but for some reason, every time i sit down with a racing game or car game, what was that one? midnight club? or something, back in the day. i can't do it. i don't know, i just can't do it. michael: i'm not a- i'm not - i can't play, like, the super realistic car games. you know what i mean?
where, where like driving is hard. because its hard in real life. i wanna i want video games hard. like i can go 80mph and make a turn.matt: yeah. michael: you know what i mean?matt: exactly. ashley: well, if you wanna go 120mph on a dirt road and not spin out, horizon is for you. mica: are you in australia?ashley: yeah! ashley: which is kind of nice. cuz i'll be like, "yeah..." *intelligible noises*mica: can you hit a kangaroo with your car?
ashley: no.mica: oh. ashley: but that's a great idea.mica: right?michael: a vermin.matt: i look for *what's that, matt?* ashley: you do drive on the other side. mica: oh! well, fuck that then.michael: whaaat. ashley: yeah. michael: wild, right? ashley: whoa right?mica: i don't know about that... ashley: but isn't that, i mean, i guess the last- michael: can you see the toilets flush the other direction? (mica laughs)
matt: it's a very minor detail, but the ocean actually goes opposite too.ashley: yeah? *unsure* yeah. i mean, you know, i would say yes.matt: i can't confirm that's true. ashley: for all the toilets that are in your vehicles, they would have realistic flushing physics. michael: what a hot debate. everyone says that it's fake, then- and then it's not fake, then it's true. mica: is it true?ashley: uh, no, it- well, it it has a lil- it is, but.
michael: it is true but it doesn't work in toilets, really. ashley: well, yeah, cuz there's like, minormichael: the flushers. ashley: super minor, like, balance things. like if its on any kind of an angle, or whatever, it's one of those things where like, theoretically, it flushes the other direction. but in practice? the thing that you're actually gonna notice-michael: well, also cuz the toilet, the water shoots out- ashley: yeah, the other- they should, straight downmichael: everyone said if you wanna see it authentically,
michael: you have to like, fill up a sink. and then just drain the sink. and then it'll be different. mica: and then the sink drains the other way? ashley: or like a bathtub, i guess. i dunno.michael: yeah. michael: don't use a toilet. that's all i've learned. cuz it's not a controlled experiment. ashley: what you're really gonna notice
when you go, really, anywhere besides the us, about the toilets is that it feels like there's no water in them. mica: really? ashley: cuz just like the water levels are lower. they're like, this is where you pee. you're the one putting the water in it. matt: we're more wasteful here. all: yeah.matt: just get rid of it, do whatevermichael: also, there's no barriers anywhere mica: "here; 5 gallons of water for you to piss in."
ashley: exactly.matt: "fill it up even more." mica: aren't there like, bidets on every toilet in japan? ashley: i don't know, but i saw the picture that gus tweeted where there's like a bidet with different settings. and one of them, they have the, just the little icon so you know how hard it is and one of them had the water spouting up inside the butt. michael: oh my god.(mica laugh)
matt: that's like the fire hose setting. michael: wouldn't you just go off the seat? mica: it lifts you. ashley: it's like one of those fire hoses.michael: yeah. michael: my- there's like the degree of privacy in bathrooms. when you travel outside of america most places, even if you have urinals, there's no divider, there're just next to each other. so you just like, go, and then the step below that is
when you just get the trough. and that's all. it's literally just, like, a metal bin that you stand next to a dude. mica: so as a lady, you don't have shit like that. ashley: no. mica: there are troughs? michael, matt: yeah.mica: you just piss in a trough? michael: it's just literally like, it's like, a metal sink. that's like, urinal level but it's attached to the wall and it's the whole wall.
ashley: and occasionally,michael: people just walk up to it and pee in it. ashley: occasionally, you hear fun stories about foreigners who don't understand what that urinal means. and they think its a sink! michael: it's not.matt: oh cool. ashley: so here's, this is gus's picture right here. see the, uh, the one second from the right.mica: that is- right up the ass!michael: oh my god! matt: nice.ashley: there's the gentle one second from the left and then apparently one to wash your face
i don't know what that is. matt: the far right one's just drowning you. ashley: then there's real intimacy. mica: that is, uh, that's a....*inhales* ashley: right? now we know why he stayed in korea. mica: that's why.matt: you can't get that here in america. michael: i saw esther tweet, i dunno, couple of days ago she was drinking a beer. it was in a jug, like, i'm not kidding.
it was like that big. and she was like hugging it. and she's like drinking it. she just ordered it at a restaurant. ashley: there are few people in this world that i love as much as esther. she and gus are a wonderful, wonderful match. mica: absolutely. michael: yeah, they're both terrible people. ashley: well. michael: they're perfect for each other.
ashley: yeah. exactly. so, uh, video games. this actually did turn into off topic very, very quick.matt: yeah, back to that. mica: that alcohol, man. michael: yeah, you kind of brought that on.ashley: i did. i did it. ashley: it was my fault. i committed us, when i did that (gesture to bar)mica: it's still there.michael: they backed it up a bit. but i wanted to bring on people who actually like nintendo. ryan just shits on nintendo all the time. but he can't be here today, so this is the time to love nintendo. did you guys hear about the new, alleged leaks for the nx?
michael: nope.mica: no. matt: i heard a few.ashley: okay, so let's talk about the alleged leaks for the nx. one, maybe it's called the duo. mica, michael: okay. ashley: based on it maybe, potentially, being handheld and console. like, "it's a duo!" mica: take your console with you. ashley: or maybe cuz there's two pieces to it. matt: could they just call it the nintenduo?
is that gonna be the name?mica: get out. ashley: that would be- i would like that. that would be nice. but i imagine they've got all kinds of branding people being like, matt: yeah like, "you're an idiot." ashley: you're gonna compromise your brand. nintend- cuz then they would be like, "you have to call it the nintendo nintenduo." michael: yeah.mica: that's a mouthful.
matt: when you put it that way. michael: then it'll be like, "the new nintendo nintenduo." ashley: oh my god. mica: cuz they put 'new' on everything. michael: nintendo is the worst at naming things. ashley: they're really really bad at it. michael: they're the fucking worst. matt: well, it's like, they don't try to be creative with it. they're just like, "yeah, this is the new one." michael: not even not creative though, it's just confusing.
why would you ever ever. put the word new in the title of a product. it won't be new forever. it's called the 'new nintendo 3ds'. mica: that is true. michael: and so when it's 5 years old, you're calling it the new nintendo 3ds. not the new one, but the one called new.
ashley: also, cuz then you put out a special edition and you're like, "i want the new 'new'." new new new new google is like, "what are- the fuck do you want?!" what do you want?! mica: that happened to me. i accidentally bought on ebay the old nintendo 3ds, even though i typed in new, exactly.ashley: cuz it said it was new? so the 'new nintendo 3ds' and i was like, okay cool. and it came. and it was just the 3ds.
and i was like, no, i wanted the new 'new'. mica, ashley: new new, new new new, new new new matt: that's the thing. what if you have to replace your new 3ds? you have a new 'new 3ds'. michael: no, you have an old 'new'. mica: yeah, you have an old 'new' 3ds. augh! god! nintendo, why. ashley: so we'll see. as long as they don't call it like the wii 2 or, at this point, wii 3.
or...michael: call it the dolphin.matt: wii 3. mica: what?michael: dolphin. ashley: i liked-mica: why?michael: that was what michael: the gamecube was supposed to be called, right? michael: yeah? was it dolphin?ashley: yeah, that was it's- the- that was supposed michael: that was it's codename.ashley: and revolution was the wii's codename. michael, matt: yeah. mica: who come's up with these names?matt: that would've been way better. michael: both better, to me.matt: yeah.
michael: than what they ended up with. ashley: everyone has better code names. like, um, i thought that mio was way better than ps4 pro. mica: oh hell yeah. ashley: what's- they just been calling xbox scorpio, "scorpio" wasn't on board with it at first, but i've come around. mica: scorpio? that sounds cool. michael: is that now, that's the name though, right? that's not the codename. that's what it's called.
ashley: i don't know. i don't know. that's what what they're calling it for now but they also called kinect project, natal for ages.michael: they did. matt: yeah. michael: they did do that. mica: watch them come out and call the new xbox, just "new xbox". ashley: "xbox one 2"mica: oh god. oh! mica: this hurts me. cuz i feel like that's it's so stupid, that it could happen.
like i feel like that's what's happening with naming these days. it's like you joke about it, but then it comes out. and you're like, sssss, haaaaa matt: its always kinda been weird, like, the second xbox was the 360. so it's like, where did that really come from? ashley: they were honest about that. mica: or just like battlefield 1.ashley: they said very- they actually came out there was an interview years ago where they said
they didn't wanna be the xbox 2 with the ps3 coming out. because it made it sound like their technology was a generation behind. so they wanted- they needed to not be 2. michael: i'm glad, that they just.matt: so they're like, we have 60 more. michael: didn't- they were like, "you got the numbers." "you got here first." ashley: yeah.mica: right.
ashley: like at this point, bring it, b360. mica, matt: yeah.michael: a thousand. ashley: awh my god. oh my god.michael: xbox a million. mica: "xbox infinity". michael: that's a good one. mica: that is a good one.michael: they should use it.matt: they just can't beat it. mica: copyright, xbox. you have to pay me now. ashley: that was gonna be one of the things that they
thought xbox one was gonna be called. mica: infinity?ashley: potentially. mica: wasn't everybody outraged when the one came out? they were like "that's such a stupid name!" *angry mumbling* ashley: yeah. because now they're- it was the same thing as nintendo. like, nice type xbox one and it's like well, do you want the original xbox or do you want the xbox 3?
mica: right. michael: but the real- not that it matters now. the real confusion there was with playstation. so the original playstation was just called "playstation". they didn't call it anything else. just "playstation". then playstation 2 was coming out. but then before playstation 2 came out, they made the playstation 1. which was the little white one.matt: yeah, that was the little tiny one. mica, matt: yeah. michael: so then
unless they had a name before that, i'm pretty sure then they needed to name the grey one. cuz they were all like "well shit. this is the playstation 1 now." matt: the clunky fat one.michael: so it's called the psx, that's what the original one's called. and like nobody knows that.mica: is it? ashley: so they like to retro-mica: i had no clue. michael: so when you say- i think it was retro.unless i'm wrong, it was always called the psx. but i don't think so. i think they were like,
"shit, we need to name it now. cuz now when you say playstation 1, now it's the white one." although they were the same. it was essentially just the slimmatt: it is the same thing. michael: all it was, was the slim. but, uh... ashley: then they had the ps2, and then they had ps2 the tiny one came out, the slim?michael: i think it was just ps2 slim. ashley: but it was ps two? like they actually spelled out the word, the number 2.[two; hard pronunciation of 'w'] michael: that would- was that like real?mica: like t-w-o?
ashley: i mean, it was- i think it was on it.michael: is that what they called it? matt: ps twooo.michael: interesting. ashley: ps2 and then there was, i love to call it the ps two. mica: the ps two. it just sounds like you have the lip, "i want the ps two".[hard pronunciation of "w"] mica: but where does like 's' come from? is that slim?ashley: i think it's just it's like slim, but it's not. mica: because... wasn't there like the iphone 5 and the iphone 5s?
and it's like *shrug* or 5c. matt: it's superior, or like super.ashley: to me that's super versus... ashley: cut down? mica: *grunting noises*(ashley laughs) ashley: i don't know. mica: names are stupid.ashley: names are stupid. ashley: but, so if it's the duo, i'll make fun of it. and i'll get over it. mica: yeah.matt: mmyeah
ashley: but... they ah.... so basically what happened is someone who acclaims to work at a major retailer sent a bunch of information to the nx subreddit. and the subreddit mods, they said they verified a bunch of information with this guy. enough that they were comfortable to share the information. that it wasn't just, you know, some random persone-mailing them a bunch of shit. and it's.... see....they confirmed that mario's gonna be
a launch title. they're gonna do a bundle.michael: what. ashley: i know, right? big surprise. big fucking surprise.matt: yeah. ashley: but that they'll do a bundle at launch. for $400 or standalone at $200. oh stand alone at $300. matt: that's not that bad, right?mica: not bad at all. michael: nintendo's usually-matt: they're pretty good. ashley: so it confirmed a lot of the details too. like it's probably cartridge based.
which i'm still on board with.mica: okay.michael: interesting. mica: kinda getting nostalgic. i think they're banking on nostalgia. ashley: no. well, sort of. sort of not. because if it is supposed to be handheld that flat flash based media is the ideal solution. matt: yeah.mica: right. yeah. ashley: you don't wanna, you don't want a disk fuckin' skipping on you. matt: it's not gonna be one of those things, where i think everyone's thinking, oh like, nintendo n64 cartridges.
just plug in the back of that thing. it's gonna be like a tiny little thing, probably, like the 3ds already has, you know. ashley: sandisk just announced a terabyte flash drive. so it's not like flash media is holding anyone back capacity-wise, these days. so they can be like that small. and still be like, high enough capacity for actual legitimate games.
matt: it's just expensive to produce, right? that's like the big argument against using them. ashley: well, that was definitely the nintendo 64 days, for sure. and i know, like that was one of the big problems for that console, but i know it's come down. like it- that's the thing about old technology it comes down to the point where i'm not sure if it's gonna be....
it'll be a little bit more expensive for a cartridge than a, for it to print a blu-ray disk or whatever. but i'm not sure it's the kind of issue that it was before. i hope not, cuz i like cartridges.mica: there is also disk (mumble). ashley: there's just something real cute about them. matt: well, i mean nintendo stocks are great right now. they can totally afford themashley: and real lose-able. mica: i also like carrying around my little pouch. and hearing the jingle of all my cartridges.
like my 3ds cartridges, i don't know. ashley: how many cartridges do you carry around at a time? mica: well, i like to have all of my 3ds games with me at all times. when i carry around my ds, especially when i travel. ashley: so you buy physical for ds? mica: i do. i don't like digital for my ds. except unless it's the virtual console. like pokemon red or blue, or something. so i have my animal crossing and my cooking mama.
and like all my stupid little games in a little zippy pouch. and it's like- it's really small. it fits in the palm of my hand. and i just pull it out and sift through all of 'em. there's something nostalgic about siftingthrough my 3ds cartridges. ashley: when you get stressed out, do you open it and just like, run your fingers through them? like it's zen sand. mica: like a mafia lord, counting all my money. i'll be like counting my 3ds cartridges.
ashley: "yes, i am a dragon and this is my horde." michael: i miss the physical media. i had a set up back- last time i really had a lot of physical media was before i moved to austin and i had essentially what was a bookshelf drilled to the wall, right over my entertainment center. so all my games were behind-they were like above my tv and i had a space for, like, 300 dvds. so it was all my xbox games, my playstation games
all that stuff. ashley: and get them all lined up, and it just looks like ashley: really good?michael: i loved that.matt: it was nice, you know? matt: it was like christmas. michael: but i do love digital for handheld because that is the thing i play when i travel. when i go on planes and stuff like that. there's just something amazing about having your entire library in just the 3ds.
not having to carry anything at all. if i ever went back to physical media, i think it would be.... i mean, again, it looks great, it's awesome to like have the collection, you know. and for games that you have multiple series in. you have all 4 of 'em in series order. ashley: as long as they don't fuck up the spines where there's one here and then like the title for the other one is like down here.
and then this one's in like a different color, it's got like a band around it.michael: you gotta make the choice, right? so even with zelda mica: everything's different.michael: the release order is nothing compared to the title order. then that's where i circumvent alphabetical. i go, "no, you're gonna go in release order." because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. there's like 19 zelda games and if i put them in alphabetical order, it'd be all over the place. my zelda 1, of, like, link.
zelda, then link's adventure, then blah blah blah which by the way, i think the 3ds now has almost every single zelda game. it's shocking how many. it has like, 90%, of the zelda games.matt: it's got a lot. matt: it's like, maybe missing wind waker and twilight princess. also skyward sword.mica: which are on consoles. michael: but i mean, even then they've got ocarina of time, they have majora's mask,
they've got all the nintendo ones. they have every single handheld and almost every console zelda now, on the 3ds. mica: that's incredible. michael: it'd be great if they'll just freaking, updated ocarina of time to add the fucking extra stick from the new 3ds. mica: yeah.ashley: right? ashley: like why not?michael: like it launched with majora's mask. and the huge thing was you get to use the stick.ashley: it didn't take advantage of it.
michael: and spin the camera and shit and that was what, february of last year, came out? you'd think that they would've-ashley: yes. it came out on valentine's day. michael: they don't really patch shitmatt: oh yeah! i remember just, you know, just being alone and playing it. mica: i remember playing it on valentine's day. michael: that's why i bought it. i was actually in a 3ds slump. like, i hadn't played it for, like, a year. a year and a half or something like that.
i got back into it because majora's mask was coming out and the new one's coming out. and i have been playing it ever since. like i've never played more 3ds since the new 3ds. or i should even say nintendo ds in general. ashley: it's like it takes that one game to get you in the mode of playing 3ds because otherwise, i get like "well, i'm not on a train, i'm not on a plane. there's no point in playing it."
michael: yeah. mica: right. ashley: but if you find the right game? then you're just like sitting at home on the couch giant tv in front of you, you just ignoring it, going yeeeaaaah michael: dragon quest 7. i've got like 35 hours in it. i'm sitting at home just like playing it in my living room. and it feels like a waste. like its great. but you're like, i shouldn't be doing this. i'm at my house.
ashley: i started selling mica on this on a previous patch, but have you played fantasy life? mica: i have not. i think i was about to go buy it. and then i got distracted. but now that i know, i'm about to get on a plane after this. so i will buy it. ashley: so it's a little bit- it's got kinda like animal crossing visual to it but it's an open world rpg.
and there's 8 classes. and you can switch classes at any time. and you progress in that class. but you keep perks from the other classes. that you've earned. and you can be like a cook, or a tailor, or whatever and like, some skills from this one, you'll need to make armor for this other one. so they all kind of intertwine.
you end up leveling up all these different classes and running out and bashing stuff and unlocking new parts of the world. it's a wonderful time. mica: i'm here for it.ashley: like it's the game that i actually, since fantasy life, i haven't played 3ds as much. because i don't love anything quite as muchas i love that game. mica: that's a great endorsement. question. can you get married?
ashley: no. mica: awww. matt: what's the point? (matt, michael laugh)ashley: i don't- matt: is this it?matt: i don't get it. ashley: i mean, i don't think you- matt: what's up?mica: oh. ashley: frickin' adorable.mica: oh it's so precious! ashley: all the crafting stuff is minigames like this.
so it's just like if you're making armor, or refining ore, as the blacksmith or whatever it is that you're doing all that stuff is minigames. and then you go out and it's action based, um, like world stuff. oh yeah, of course you can customize your room. mica: i am so in! it is really animal crossing like. is it a... oh it's so cute! you can get a pet!
ashley: yes, you can have a pet that you can take with you. mica: oh my god. you've sold me. mica: i'm so going to buy this. ashley: it's a game that, um, i was invited to some sort of nintendo preview event that happened before pax a couple of years ago. so right before fantasy life came out. and they had the whole range of of thing's you can try out.
i think, um, mitomo-nope, not mitomo. what was the one...? tomodachi life, there we go. mica: where you can make a friend sing weird shit.ashley: yeah. that was like the highlight, i think.matt: that was like the testing for me.michael: there was a whole lot of us. matt: there was a lot of us in that gamemichael: a lot of dancing and singing in the achievement hunter and shit when that game came out. ashley: that was shown at the time and then i saw this game over here and, cuz, i'd written it off based on the title cuz it sounded
sounded kind of i don't know, like, real- like a life simulator type thing.mica: right. ashley: and so i didn't even think about it. and then i saw it and i was like, what is this game? cuz i like this game. and then, i never looked back and it was wonderful. mica: fantasy life reminded me of final fantasy which the new final fantasy is coming out soon.
ashley: and it's one of the rare games that's gonna have a demo. never happens anymore. mica: it's true. mica: i played the first demo.matt: except for pokemon. they're good in that. matt: yeah, pokemon's good in that one like, later this week, i think it's 18? mica: something like that, yeah. i'm excited for that. ashley: it's crazy. seems like no one does demo. so when hear about it, when i get really excited just
about the very fact that its gonna have a demo mica: also it's a beautiful game. and the franchise has already been so hyped. like, the anime exists, the demo came out, the movie came out. it's been promoted at every games convention ever. it looks good. and the gameplay that i played at pax? it's good. it's a good game. and final fantasy hasn't done something good in -no offense- in a really long time.
so i am pumped! ashley: played 'em. still agree with you. michael: well, last console one that i played was 10. i didn't like 12. i'll take- that was me. a lot of people loved 12. i just wasn't a huge fan of it. cuz it was kind of like... they took the... online mmo aspect of 11, but made it like a console game.
and didn't like that.ashley: that's the reason i skipped 12. michael: exactly.ashley: i was busy pouting that they abandoned themichael: right. ashley: system, like the combat system they had in 10 michael: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, they were all different but i liked them for all what they were. i didn't like that 12 was like a fake mmo. it like fooled you into thinking you were playing an mmo but it's a single player game. matt: it had like gambits-michael: 13, forget about it. matt: i think that's what it was.
where it's like, basically, it would automatically do stuff that you would do anyways so you're just walking by and it would start doing things for you. i remember playing that game at my friend's house, falling asleep, and like, finding out my character hasn't done shit while i was asleep. and i was like, "okay whatever, just keep going." that's why i quit playing it though. that was just all it was. just walking around.ashley: i think this is-
ashley: when you don't have to play it michael: it was so much of that game too like a mechanic of the game was not only setting your ai so that they did shit on their own, but i remember you had to unlock it. you would have, you would set like, "okay heal yourself if your health gets less than 50%" but you would have to unlock that ability so then as you play on you can unlock the ability
to heal yourself if you get less than 30% so the whole game was organizing for each character, if you didn't wanna swap in the middle of battle, cuz it's real time battle, if you don't wanna swap characters, you basically had to auto set all your ai, and then you just played one character at a time. but i greatly prefer turn based. where it's like, "you go", "now you go."
"now you go." like that's how i love roleplaying games. matt: i will say 13's a little bit different. but i actually didn't hate it. it was like enough for me to finish the game but mica: you're a minority.matt: i know. mica: yeah, that was terrible.matt: i'm definitely the minority in that one. michael: i couldn't even get passed the gameplay in 13. but it was the battles were totally different,
but outside of battle, it was still wasn't like final fantasy. it was super linear. it was, like, "go through this room, now go through this room, now go through this room." mica: i want final fantasy to take me 5 years . i want it- i want it to be that game where i sit down and maybe the strategy book comes out and i come back to it. i want it to be- i'm all in.
when i played final fantasy 7, you don't talk to me, because all i was doing was final fantasy 7. ashley: do you guys like the loot games? or the loot systems in those? mica: we do!ashley: you do? mica: i do like loot!matt: oh my god!mica: tell me about loot!ashley: can i tell you something else? ashley: because if you're looking for gear, collectibles, houseware and all from your favourite pop culture franchises, loot crate's got you covered.
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that's lootcrate.com/patch i like getting boxes of stuff. it's just like a present that i send myself. (matt, mica laugh) ashley: do you ever- have you ever, like, drunk shopped? mica: oh my god, all the time. ashley: and then just like, stuff shows up that you can't even remember buying, like, "aw, thanks, me!"
mica: that's what i love about amazon prime. cuz i'll drunk shop and then 2 days later, i'll be like, *gasp* aw, me! thanks!michael: yeah, it's quick. michael: i do that, but it's like, "oh my god, when did i order these hand towels?" (all laugh)michael: "these are awesome. i've got new towels." "what? a new"- or like - "a new soap dish?!" "i'm so awesome." that's what i find myself buying.
ashley: wait, hold on. drunk you improves your life? michael: yeah.mica: that's- oh, if only.michael: i just buy crap for my house. ashley: that's really the opposite of how that normally works. michael, mica: yeah.ashley: usually it's, like, "where did this blow up donkey come from, cuz i'm a little weirded out right now."(mica, matt laugh) mica: drunk me spends an obscene amount on things that i don't need. and its usually the drunk takes away thinking about how much money it is.
i'll be like, "aw, me, why would i spend $150 on this pair of shoes that i can probably wear once?" "i mean, okay." "thanks."(michael sniggers) michael: i mean i guess if you already got it, mica: you already have-michael: i'll take it from me. mica: that also happens when i buy stuff on ebay and it's coming from china. so i'll buy it
january 10th, and then i dunno, may 3rd, something will come in the mail and i'm like "oh yeah! i forgot i ordered this!" ashley: "oh you got it for my birthday!" matt: you're then like, "i went 3 months of my life without that. i really didn't need it." mica: yup, yeah, usually by the time it comes from china, i realise i don't need it anymore. ashley: just the hype is gone.
matt: see, i don't drunk shop but i just forget immediately. literally every package i get, like, i get a little notification be like, "oh, i got a package." "shit. what did i- i didn't order anything, did i?" ashley: "what is this?"matt: yeah, i just walk in there and i'm like, "oh yeah, that thing i ordered, like, a week ago that i forgot about immediately" mica: you should go get your brain checked. matt: it's just like, i live very in the moment, mica.
i just-i don't care. at all.michael: i can tell, man. matt: seconds later, it's gone to me. ashley: so as someone who lives in the moment, what's your feeling on pre-orders and stuff? ashley: do you pre-order?matt: that's-ashley: or do you just buy games when you feel like playing them? matt: i'll pre-order it if i think i'm gonna play it. and then, in the back of my head, i'm like, "no need to worry. i already have it." that game, i own it. it just will be, it'll appear.ashley: then you just forget about it?
matt: i forget that i, like, don't currently have it. but i do remember, like, the day it comes out. i'm like, "oh yeah, i pre-ordered that. for sure." "absolutely." ashley: good for you.michael: i used to pre-order everything. michael: everything.matt: yeah, that was kind of how it works for me too. michael: from the time i was, like, 10 years old and i would- even before my gamestop was gamestop it was, it was, uh.......matt: eb?michael: no, it was.....
ashley: babbage's? michael: babbage's, yup. michael: yeah it was babbage's. and then it became gamestop. i would pre-order everything. but you had to go to the store. so i had to go there anyway and i would always get if i was buying something, i'd get it on day 1, and then usually you get some kind of pre-order item or something with it, or whatever, andashley: like a poster or a keychain or like, michael: or-ashley: "here's a single sticker." and you're like, "yaayyy!"
michael: take it back to a time in the late 90s where, like i pre-ordered a game so i could actually get the game. games used to sell out. that was a thing.mica, matt, ashley: yeah. michael: you could go to the store and they'll be like "oh, you didn't pre-order it? we don't have anymore." that's stopped being a thing, i'd say, even in the early 2000s. but especially now with digital. i've probably haven't pre-ordered anything. if i happened, in like, a one in a thousand chance i'd buy
something from a physical store. usually if i'm home at new jersey or something, visiting my family, and my brother's going to the store for his kids to buy something, i'll buy something while i'm there. and the're like, "hey! wanna pre-order?" and i'm like, *laughs royally*(all laugh) matt: "oh heavens, no." michael: "i have nice internet, i'm good."
i'm good. matt: yeah. matt: i remember the last game... i remember the game that made me start pre-ordering was halo 3. cuz i didn't pre-order it, and i didn't have it. and then, like, the day it came out, i was like, "yeah, i wanna play it. i wanna get it." but i also had like, i was sick, i had like a fever like a hundred degrees. hundred and one, or something like that.
but i- so i skipped school and i was like, "okay." "i still wanna play halo." "i'm sick." so i went in my car, drove out to target, they didn't have it. went to the gamestop right by, they didn't have it. like, 3 other stores. got the game, sat down in my car, fell asleep. mica: in the car?ashley: awww. matt: in the car. and then i woke up like 3 hours later. i was like, "time to go home and play halo."(ashley, mica laugh)
mica: i like that you went out with a fever. like, infected everybody cuz you were like,"i need my halo!" "i need halo!"matt: i was amazed. michael: you with a fever is drunk.ashley: i'm happy you weren't- michael: "but halo, man."matt: it was very high fever, michael. ashley: i'm pretty happy for, like, the world-michael: you called it 100, 101. ashley: that you weren't driving when you fell asleep. matt: no, no. i just got in the car, i was like, looking at it, kind of read the back, you know,
as you do back in the day when there's physical shit. and like, "okay. can't wait to go home and play that." ashley: you look at the tiny tiny screenshots and you're like, "this game looks awesome." matt: "especially at this size." ashley: did you ever buy games based on the box?" i used to do that constantly.michael: i don't think so. mica: i don't think so.ashley: cuz i played a lot of early pc stuff. you know, when they came in, the box were like this big.
matt, mica : oh yeah.michael: oh, like starcraft. ashley: and they, like i'd buy a box, i'd see a box and be like, "that's a particularly nice box." and i would pay attention. if they were like embossed or had shiny elements, i was like, "they clearly believed enough in this game to invest in the packaging." "i'll take it." mica: "that acryllic had sparkles in it. they really care." matt: it's the packaging that makes the game.ashley: it went wrong a couple of times, but it also, like, i ended up playing some games that i
never would've thought about, that were very very nice. mica: well, you know what? i...ashley: i can't think of what any of those were right now, but i was- oh! giants: citizen kabuto.that no one else liked, but i did. mica: i used to that with wine labels. if it had like a cute animal on it, i'd buy the wine. matt: must be hell of a box. i've never heard of it. mica: is that the same thing? ashley: uh...... sure. mica: and it's sometimes turns out to- be good wine.
mica: why would put an owl it?ashley: i don't really know the difference between like, shitty wine and good wine. someone could say, "this is a $200 bottle." i'd be like, *sip*, "very nice." "i don't know." mica: is it when they're like, "this is a $200 bottle", and you're like, "siiiip* "impeccable." ashley: "i'll take the, uh....."
"red?" mica: "i'll take the wine, please." michael: i remember the, umm..... i've never, i don't think i've ever bought a game by looking at the back of the box, but that's cause i i've been playing video games since i was a kid. since i was like 5. so i was always knew what games are coming out, what games i wanted. stuff like that.
if i was ever looking at the box, at gamestop or whatever, it's cuz i had no money, and my friends and i were just at the mall. and we'll be like, "oh let's go into the gamestop and look at games for 10 minutes and then leave." cuz we don't have any money. but i remember putting myself in the shoes of parents, or people who didn't play video games, and i would look at the back of the box and like, "if i didn't know this game was a piece of shit,
cuz this is a piece of shit, would i buy this?" and then i remember thinking like, "man, if you didn't know anything about video games, you're fucked." like this is all you have to go on. and i remember like, "well, this is a blatant lie." "this game is awful. this sucks." ashley: cuz you'd have like a 2-3 sentence blurb
probably about saving the world.mica: right, yeah. ashley: 2 tiny screenshots, and then, there'd be the safety information or whatever. and like, some crazy art in the background making it all busy and unreadable anyway. michael: the only thing i think i would look at which i would actually garner information from is if it were games that i were sort of familiar with but didn't know a lot about. if i was in the store, i could see how many players it was. matt, mica: yeah.michael: like, "is this xbox live, is this 4-players,"
"oh there's no co-op? fuck that." that's the most useful thing a box did for me. mica: were you guys ever- like you guys were all gamers since kids, right? ashley: mmhmm.matt: yeah. mica: could you imagine, like michael was kinda bringing up, what would it be like what would be your gateway drug, into getting into video games? cuz i can't imagine being, like, a teenager or me now in my twenties, like, never really playing a video game. and trying to get into gaming today.
i just feel like there's such a ...... ashley: like what would be a gateway drug now?mica: yeah! ashley: if we were trying to trick new people into playing video games.mica: yeah! mica: cuz like, back in the day, i played tomb raider at like, 5 years old. and that's what got me into games. but i- i was little and that's how i bonded with a parent. but i was like out of the house, didn't have any reason to play video games,
what would make me pick up video games? ashley: honestly, like nintendo stuff.matt, mica: yeah ashley: i'm gonna be honest, their stuff is easy to get the hang of, it's friendly, it's cute, it's not intimidating. unless it's like bayonetta, like shaking her stuff at ya. matt: that's not intimidating. come on.(michael, mica laugh) mica: i feel like also zelda-ashley: i'm intimidated. i'm like, "well." "i can't live up to that."
mica: yeah. woooh! "put 'em away, girl." ashley: "i'm sorry. hair weapon? what?" mica: i feel like, yeah, i guess nintendo you have pokemon and, like, animal crossing for the cutesy stuff. then you have legend of zelda for the more complicated... michael: zelda's the perfect, like, "this is a 'video game' video game." having played it my entire life, i still feel like that when i play a new zelda like, "this is a video game." if you've never played a game before,
and you're interested, you could play zelda. it's got like, "there's a young hero who finds his journey", you know, they have the dungeons, they have items and quests and the princess. matt: it's like your standard hero quests.michael: there's rupees and that's just like-mica: and there's battle and... mechanics and stuff. michael: yeah. you can ride a horse, you know. you got a bow and arrow. there's so many elements to me, of like, a video game. like a quintessential video game element to me,
i think of zelda puzzle solving. like, "oooh there's a torch and you have to shoot an arrow through the torch and light the, you know, the brazier on fire behind it." that's what i think of a video game. that, or like a, skyrim. oblivion. something where.... for me, i think.... most people that are gonna play video games,
they watch movies. you know? you have your genre of, whatever. sci fi or, or uh... fantasy or whatever. but i could see someone not playing video games picking up skyrim, being like, "okay, i'm a barbarian or something." "i'm a knight. okay. i got a sword. i have a shield." like i can wrap my head around that. and, uh, just be like, "i guess i'm going on a quest."
ashley: it is cool cuz it's-matt: it's also that it translates pretty well. michael: exactlymica: yeah.matt: like someone could just be like, "oh yeah. as a barabarian, i do these things." matt: "this is how it's done."michael: the first game i pick up would not be. per wrap of the wrapper. michael: what the fuck is this?matt: you gotta be in the mindset for wrappers. mica: i asked this because this reminds me of the time titanfall just came out. whatever that was.
and i remember my mom was trying to connect with me on a mother-daughter level, but i was playing titanfall at the time. so, like, "no, mom. you don't exist to me." and she tried to play titanfall. i tried to show her.ashley: oh nooo. mica: and she was like, "why would you show this to me for my first game? this is so confusing." and to me, for playing video games since i was a kid, i was like, "no it's not." "it's so simple. titanfal's a very simple game." and so, i'm wondering like, how do you explain to parents? or like, just someone-"
ashley: how do thing-mica: how to do things. especially like, what's a first shooter? i should give to my mom? ashley: oh first shooter? oh.mica: to introduce her to shooters.matt: splatoon. mica: fuck you, matt. fuck you, matt.ashley: like, i know it'd be a co-op one.matt: it's a fun game. ashley: something really easy, like, straight forward mica: cuz i'm like, not halo.ashley: like, pure action-y. matt: halo's not like-ashley: first shooter...... matt: that complexive. the first one, at least.mica: but like, the story,ashley: doom?
mica: doom? yeah.ashley: if you want to like terrify them, doom. i guess something that, in it's mechanics is at least like, very like straight forward. michael: i think the other thing too is if you're trying to pull in people that have never played video games like, you need to use something newer. because it's like, the nostalgia isn't there for anybody else. "this looks like shit." you know? matt: been there too.michael: or something, like, closer to media today
would be my... again, that's why i thinkthe remaster version of skyrim coming out would be great. this is a brand new game, you run around, you chop people with a sword. or you use magic and you shoot people with fireballs. mica: and your horse defies physics and walks up a mountain. michael: you just climb up that mountain, just keep jumping. just keep jumping. michael: he'll get up there.matt: he's got spiked hooves, he's fine. mica: oh, that's what it is.matt: just "shoof shoof shoof". ashley: it's hopeful too, cuz you can say like,
they go "how do you play the game?" and you go, "how do you wanna play the game?" mica, matt: yeah.ashley: and so if that's, like that open world sort of style where they drop you in and you go, "you can do the story or you can fuck off and do whatever you like." that is very friendly in a way matt: and it's friendly but i also feel like some people wouldn't respond to that cuz there's so much, the scale of it is just so big.
michael: yeah.matt: i think that mario would be a good, kinda, thing for them where it's kind of straight forward. just run through the level. matt: that's all you gotta do.ashley: i dunno if there's a one size fits all. mica: true. i feel like it depends on the person. definitely introducing my mom to a new shooter was not the right thing. but i feel like she probably would've responded well to mario or zelda or something. matt: you should just show her destiny.
mica: destiny didn't exist yet.matt: oh. okay. michael: mario's a good choice too.mica: it was when titanfall existed. matt: that's when it was brand new and there's no story.ashley: when it existed. which it no longer does. michael: the other thing i think we forget-matt: we took care of that problem. michael: that i think we forget for people who play video games is a huge aspect, is just controlling it. like moving characters. like, two sticks is complicated for people who never played video games before. the walking and looking is second nature for anybody
that's ever played a video game, at least in a current gen or the last gen, ashley: so the third person stuff is probably easier. michael: probably, or like side scrollers. where you just, you wanna go to the right, push right. matt: old nintendo even, like the camera angles could be garbage but you didn't control the camera. so it was one less thing to think about. like, this is what you have. deal with it.
i think that might have been a little bit easier for some people who cannot grasp. at least-ashley: also infuriating some times. matt: after you've gotten used to it, you're like, "motherfucker. just move the camera so i can see." michael: dude, the castlevania 64 camera angle. matt: oh yeah?michael: it was 'good'. michael: great game, all around. *shakes head* some games translated well to, uh-
i remember nintendo 64 was like, "will it work in 3d?" the console. matt: yeah, pretty much.michael: it took every existing title they had and tried it in 3d. and sometimes it worked, metroid prime. oh wait. was that gamecube?ashley: i was just thinking of metroid prime.matt: i thought it was gamecube. michael: it was gamecube that was the first one. matt: and that was the thing, they waited cuz theymicheal: they waited a whole console for that. matt: were all like, "we don't wanna fuck with metroid."mica: yeah.michael: but same thing, i mean, granted it was first person, but i mean you took a side scroller and made it first person. totally worked somehow.
worked perfectly. metroid prime, it's awesome. it's a great metroid game. legend of zelda? perfect 3d n64 game. castlevania? sucks. you fucked it up. try again. matt: they've never really gotten it.ashley: i really feel like metroid prime federation is the is the new wonderful, most idealist adaptation of what metroid can be.
michael: yeah..... maybe not. mica: everyone just *tight lipped*matt: or.michael: or metroid other m. michael: didn't work out so well. you tried. was that the wii? other m? matt: yeah, unfortunately. ashley: if the nx came out, if when they announce and they like, "by the way, it's gonna launch with a new metroid game" , i'd be like, "i'll- yes." matt: and they're like, "other m too."
mica: and you're like, "nooo."ashley: "one ticket for the hype train, please." ashley: "i would like to board."mica: see, i would like another starfox. that's all i want.ashley: like a true starfox. mica: like a true starfox. and if you bring up stairfax temperatures. starfox adventures. that bullshit. matt: you mean, furry zelda?mica: furry zelda. you bring up furry fucking zelda.matt: cuz that was all that game was. mica: i do not count that as a starfox game.that was zelda with dinosaurs, and like, fox people.matt: what that proved to me was that
rareware really wanted to make a zelda game but nintendo told them no. (mica, michael laugh)matt: and they were like, "okay, can we have starfox?" "already has animals, right up our alley." and they were like, "we're gonna fucking make zelda,i don't give a shit." mica: and they were like, "bro, what if we put some dinosaurs in it? isn't that a great idea?" "here you go. starfox adventures." matt: they were like, "that's fine."ashley: do you know what i wanna- i wanna another f-zero. michael: yeah, i'll give ya that one.mica: yeah!
ashley: f-zero was the shit.michael: i want another conker's bad fur day. michael: gimme that.mica: there you go.michael: gimme a sequel to that. matt: just play project spark. they threw him in there. matt: and, you know. there you go.ashley: didn't they just shut-michael: i'll just play diddy kong racing. ashley: didn't they shut down project spark? matt: look, what happened to project spark mica: it's in the back.matt: it doesn't matter. ashely: it went the way of titanfall. mica: it doesn't exist anymore.matt: someone just approached it in a back alley.mica: i want a new animal crossing.
matt: "you can leave." ashley: well of course.michael: whadyou- i mean, there was a fairly new one. mica: it was like.....2010? matt: they're updating it though. they have newer support.michael: no, there's gotta be a newer one than that, right? ashley: no. wait, hold on. i'm gonna use my-michael: the last 3ds animal crossing? matt: the- it's new leaf.mica: i'm not- amiibo festival, yeah, new leaf.when did new leaf come out? michael: that had to be like 2012, 2013.ashley: normally i got a laptop to look these sort of stuff up.matt: it was before i moved here, it was awhile. mica: someone spilled beer on it.ashley: yeah.matt: but i have no idea. ashley: someone pulled a gavin and, like, the someone was me.mica: aww.
mica: well, i want a new console animal crossing. because the last console animal crossing was city world? city life? matt: city folk.mica: that one. mica, matt, ashley: city folk. ashley: the good news about whatever comes out is it will probably be both. mica: right, because of the duo.ashley: what it sounds like is that they're targeting like, 1080p, 60 frames a second, for like console mode and then 900p for handheld mode.
which given that the 3ds is like 240p?matt: 240. yes. ashley: something like that. it's likemica: right. mica: does that mean handheld pok- uh, console pokemon? mica: pocket mon?matt: pocket mon, yeah.michael: i dunno if they're ever gonna do that. matt: well, see, i want it. mica: bring back colosseum. remake colosseum! ashley: the pokemon company did say that they're developing a pokemon game for the nx. (mica gasps)matt: see, that's the thing.
michael: yeah, but i'm sure its a pokemon game. ashley: but they said they were developing it.michael: and it's just not- ashley: rather than like, a third party. like licensed out. cuz snap was licensed out, right? ashley: was colosseum by the pokemon company ?matt: hal made that. ashley: sorry, by game freak? or was that-mica: i think it was by- oh it was by game freak. matt: no.mica: colosseum was.matt: colosseum might have been. i know hal made game freak. and i thought colosseum was made by the pokemon company.
matt: which was like made up right after that.mica: was it? matt: to just make pokemon games.mica: i'm just saying with the new graphics that you have with like actual pokemon battles in the handheld games. if you made colosseum, it would be like, an episode of pokemon on your console. that would be so cool! matt: the problem, mica, is like sun and moon are coming out in, like, november. mica: *whispers* i know i'm so excited.
matt: i'm really excited but i would also just be like, "if we're gonna make a brand new pokemon game, for like, whatever the new nx thing is, like why even bother with sun and moon?" michael: i'm assuming pokemon is there and, uh, it will always be on consoles, it drives console sales. screw you, you can't have it. uh, sorry, i mean handheld. it drives handheld sales. i mean, the games came out almost 20 years ago. and there's not a authentic pokemon console game. i mean, they always make these xd, pokemon xd whatever gale of what have you, or whatever its called.
mica: pokemon puzzle stadium.michael: just give me the goddamn game where i'm getting badges. ashley: but if the nx replaces the 3ds as well, then it kinda can do whatever, right? mica: right. then its both.matt: yeah, that's- i would hope that would happen. ashley: new leaf? 2012. does not feel like that long ago. mica: no!ashley: 2012. mica: what.ashley: for new leaf. yeah. mica: well, i still feel like we haven't heard anything about animal crossing.michael: could be a few years. mica: like, new leaf has come out. and then, a new pokemon game's come out since then.ashley: there was happy home designer but i don't
ashley: i don't count that.mica: i don't count that because it's not animal crossing. mica: i love me some happy home designer, i will sit there for about 2 hours and design some villager's home.ashley: but that's not what that is. but it's not animal crossing. i mean, i wanna start from the bottom. ashley: oh! michael, you gotta go! michael: yeah, i'll go. sure. i was gonna wait but if you kick me out now, i'll go. ashley: no, lindsay told me you have a hard stop. michael: yeah, i gotta go do the stream.ashley: she said 4.50, somichael: so hey, right after you're done watching the patch, check out the overwatch stream at achievement hunter; youtubegaming.com/achievementhunter
mica: as part of youtube gaming primetime.ashley: as part of youtube primetime. michael: yeah, we're gonna go play overwatch, and i'll be really bad at it. ashley: tag andy in for us, will ya?michael: yeah, sure. ashley: there you go.michael: bye, audience!matt: you be good. michael: i'll see ya in two days on friday. ashley: get the fuck out.(mica, matt laugh) michael: ashley, you should be on the podcast. (ashley laughs)mica: that would be funny.
mica: that would be hilarious.ashley: okay. ashley: eyyyyymica: heyyyymatt: it's andy.ashley: what's up, andy. matt: hey dude.ashley: andy, are you wearing underwear? andy: yeah, why? andy: you're not seeing it?ashley: are you?matt: oh my god. mica: yeah? oh this is- ok! i was like(matt, ashley laugh) mica: i was like, what is happening?!andy: i- ashley: well, andy, that makes 3 out of 4 of us. ashley: picture a world where-mica: wait, what?!
andy: we got the underwear.ashley: eeeeyyyyyy ashley: well you look like you could use some new undies. picture a world where putting on a new pair of underwear isn't just fresh. you're stepping into a better day. think about it. underwear is the first thing you put on and the last thing you take off. why would you settle for anything less than the best feeling underwear on the planet? my friends at meundies sent me a few pairs. actually i get them all the time and its wonderful because someone will just, like,
one of the sales people will just walk through and hand me a new pair of underwear and its like the best part of my day. and now i can't imagine wearing anything else. it really just makes every day that much better. for the price of 2 cocktails, meundies will deliver your new favorite pair of underwear right to your doorstep. better day guaranteed. and for a limited time, everyone in my audience
gets 20% off their first order but you have to go to our special url, meundies.com/thepatch with the meundies better day guarantee, you have nothing to lose. so don't wait any longer. go to meundies.com/thepatch right now for 20% off your first order. that's meundies.com/thepatch andy: i want some meundies. ashley: they legitimately are really soft.
mica: they're really soft.matt: they're really good. i like 'em. mica: and i'm super jelly. and they come in achievement hunter green. ashley: aww.mica: and i was like, "i wanna rep achievement hunter on my ass." ashley: well sure. who doesn't?mica: who doesn't. when, rt store, when are we getting underwear? why is that a thing? ashley: we have meundies.mica: true. why aren't we doing a meundies collab? andy: can meundies makes some exclusive achievement hunter and rooster teeth stuff for our store? ashley: we should talk about that.mica: can we get like an emblem? like the ah symbol.andy: like right on the asshole.
mica: yeah, right on the asshole.andy: just like a little bit, like bip.mica: yup! mica: or like 2 on the cheeks. andy: that'll be great. can you imagine like, or like a bra as well? like, the achievement hunter emblems on the bra?matt: just like right there, like i'm gonna do it back and forth. ashley: yeah, like nipple nipple. i mean, it does look a little bit like a pucker. mica: it does!andy: the achievement hunter star? oh yeah. ashley: below the star.mica: it looks like a pucker.matt: well, it's a joystick. ashley: it's a star for your star.mica: there you- andy: star for your star.mica: there you go.
ashley: aaaand moving back into video games.all: video games.matt: animal crossing. andy: heard you talking about nintendo stuff. ashley: yeah! so we've been sorta going like weaving in and out of the nx stuff that they've been talking about. cuz i'm excited about it. i'm trying not to get over-hyped but that's not working at all. mica: but like, let's be 100% honest with ourselves. whatever it is, we're buying it. ashley: oh yeah.matt: oh yeah of course.
mica: i don't care what- like, they could literally say "guys, i'm gonna send you a console that's looks like a big pile of shit." and we'll be like, "aw, nintendo. here's my $400." matt: meanwhile in a board room somewhere...ashley: you so cheeky. is that an emoji movie tie in? mica: exactly! exactly. so like, i don't care what the leaks are. i don't care what it is. just, like, take my money. andy: it's just the "wii u" u. and that's the new nx. mica: it's the "new u". andy: it's the new "u". ashley: hold on.mica: oh, that's a good one! ashley: new u?andy: it's the new u.ashley: oh no, no, you don't-
andy: remember when the wii was the revolution? ashley: keep this patch episode away from nintendo or it's gonna be the new u.matt: we've talked about that already. mica, andy: the new u, the new u. mica: and the commercials are gonna be really dramatic like, "it's the new you!" and it's gonna be like make overs and shit. and it's gonna be you turning around your body with the new u.andy: the nx is actually a brand of make up products. mica: it comes with its own mascara.ashley: well, you do take them on the go. mica, matt: true. mica: i'm really excited about this concept that i can have a handheld gaming system but then also
go home and continue it on my flatscreen.matt: yeah. ashley: i think the big worry about it, honestly that i have is, i guess it's not a personal worry cuz i don't have pockets. but that it's not gonna be of a size to actually go. andy: it must be awful to be a woman. that's like, that's one of the worst things, like birthing a child.ashley: we make up for it by- andy: has nothing compared to not having pockets. ashley: but we make up for it by having gigantic handbags.
mica: true.andy: that's true. mica: but here's the thing, i like to start carrying cute-matt: alright, sure. mica: like the sailormoon purses. ashley: child birth.mica: child birth, handbagsashley: pockets.matt: and no pockets. matt: what- what the fuck.ashley: i mean, really, we've got the biggest pocket you need. mica: are you talking about... ashley: uterii.mica: uterii, yeah, i was like, the vag? matt: that's where you can put your new nintendo. mica: yeah.matt: you're just like, perfect.ashley: you're just like shove it, store it up there when i'm going.
matt: you have, like, a case for it just jam it in. (andy sighs) mica: andy's like, "i'm out." matt: i like how he started it too. he's like, "alright. well i'm done." andy: yeah, i know i started this. and now i got myself into this mess. mica: the 3ds is so big, it takes up so much space in my purse. is that just me? i mean, not you two. unless you carry murses.
matt: it does take a lot of space in my murse. andy: it take a lot of pocket space. andy: 3ds xl is pretty hefty.matt: yeah, you can tell.ashley: honestly, like the 3ds bringing back gigantic cargo pants. you know the really-mica: yes!ashley: the really wide ones, where the legs were like this big around? ashley: and, like, just so you have enough-matt: it never left. mica: can we all bring back tactical vests? i don't know if they were ever in style
matt: are you a pokemon trainer? mica: yes! matt: okay.mica: actually. matthew.matt: fair. go for it. andy: it's like, you just keep all of your, like, game cards on the thing, like your badges. mica: yup! just sift through it. matt: i remember...ashley: like inner pockets so you can like, pull out and be like, "ahhh."mica: yup. mica: i mean, that's what i'm gonna start needing if it's gonna be console/handheld game. it can't be small. it can't be a compact carry system.andy: i'm assuming it's gonna be like an ipad mini sized screen.
that's what i'm assuming that's gonna be. matt: what i want is like it's a big thing like this and its got straps on the back so you can just strap it to your back whenever you're ready to go like, "oh." mica: you wanna games case with like, it on your back.ashley: and here's ideally what i like. if we go down that route-. andy: like a portable potty. ashley: is, um, there've been some rumors that its modular so you can, like, put on different pieces on the controller. in that case, i want it to have optional wheels. so i can just, like, matt: you can just like, "wheeee".andy: just like ride up like a skateboard? ashley: just like, throw it down, hop on.
go on your merry way and then you're like while you're waiting for a bus or whatever just take it up, take the wheels off and put on the d-pad. mica: so we're gonna go back to the 90s and have like skateboarding commercials but it's for the new nintendo? ashley: they never went away. they never left either. matt: could there be like a vacuum mod, you put on the bottom of it, put the tablet down, maybe, like, train pokemon while it cleans up.andy: and it becomes a roomba. ashley: can i just, like- roombas are so dumb. we've got a roomba and i'm constantly finding it
finding it stuck under shit, or like, it managed to catch on something and pieces have fallen off or it's like, in a room and it died because it couldn't figure out how to get out from under a desk. andy: michael-ashley: so it never makes it back to its charging station. andy: michael's roomba is my dumb little brother. andy: like i always have to like, open up the door in the bathroom cuz he locks himself in. andy: i'm like, "come on, you." matt: i like we live in a future where we like, "yeah my vacuum is fucking dumb."
"i hate how dumb my vacuum is." ashley: i just want- i dunno. i kinda want them to implement some sort of really cool like, sonar technology. like a bat has. to draw a picture of the room and where its heading matt: i thought it did that.ashley: instead of just, like, bumping into walls and being like, "oop, there's something there." turning a couple of degrees, "nope, there too."
and then just like, turns around and runs the other way until it runs into something there. andy: there's an actual built in bumper cuz its supposed to bump into shit. ashley: that's how it navigates, it's like, the idea is that randomly-matt: i thought they learned the room that way. andy: it's like a mole rat.just hits things.mica: yeah. just like with a new vr system that's coming out that's like that. that, like, reads your room and then project shit. like onto the map of your room? matt: ain't that hololens? ashley: yeah, you meant hololens? mica: not hololens. but an actual, like, projects.
like, it changes your room into like, hyrule forest or something. ashley: if so, that's very very cool.andy: or a nicer apartment.matt: you talking about magic? mica: or a nicer apartment, exactly. ashley: i mean, playstation vr's got a cinematic mode so-andy: yeah, we talked about that last week. ashley: put it on and then instead of having, like, you see your room or whatever, it seems like you're watching stuff in a nice living room. mica: so pretty much what it is, is you sit down in your shit hole of an apartment you get a better apartment in vr and you sit there and cry, and you're like, "i wish i lived a better life!"
andy: do you think like the gun shot that comes through your actual room, is it like a butterfly? andy: in vr(all laugh) mica: do you think like, you're drinking your sorrows away with a whisky bottle, just pretends that its hydrating water?andy: exactly. matt: it's like you're on really intensive drugs but it's always guaranteed to give you the happy vision? mica, andy: yes! mica: "this is lovely." ashley: isn't that a-mica: then we end up with we happy few.
ashley: i was gonna say then it's the we happy few pill. mica, matt: yeah.andy: i smell alcohol. mica: that's, uh, rum. ashley: look what we did! you can make yourself a drink. matt: yeah, go for it, dude. ashley: actually, andy: you got a post show.ashley: it is 5 o'clock. so we can make some drinks for the post-show.mica: there you go. ashley: which is available exclusively to first members on the rooster teeth website. you can check that out
every week. it's a little bit more patch into your week. otherwise, we'll be back next week and maybe people will be here? i dunno. andy: i'm gonna get drunk.ashley: gus may or not be-andy: i'm gonna stay here til 7 o'clock. andy: that's what's gonna happen.matt: that's what's happened to me right now. ashley: i can tell you right now, the broadcast crew will not tolerate that shit. they made sure that we shut down the post show at the rt podcast on monday. andy: oh, you guys kept going and going and going?ashley: yeah, good times.andy: cuz michael and lindsay were
here cuz we were picking michael up and i was just like, "oh, they're still talking." ashley: yeah. we talked a lot. and you can check that out on roosterteeth.com as well. andy: how long was the post show? for the rooster teeth podcast? ashley: ah, was like, half hour. 40 minutes. what? mica: "don't judge me!"matt: you don't- who cares.ashley: you don't need to judge. andy: thank god the patch post show is about 15 minutes. ashley: otherwise we'll see you next week for
another episode of the patch for more gaming goodness. andy: there's a tissue behind this ones.ashley: goodbye.mica: bye, peoples. (closing tune) (closing tune)[cue dancing silhouettes for 10 seconds] (closing tune)[thanks for reading.] (closing tune)[matt mumbles a lot. thanks, matt.] (closing tune)[had to ignore some 'like's and 'uh's] (closing tune)[they say a lot of those] (closing tune)[like, too much.]
(closing tune)[uh....yeah] (closing tune)[nothing else here, it's the end of the video] (closing tune)[seriously, it's just the credit roll] (closing tune)[bye!]